How to make him top me during anal sex?

[TommyButts]

Hey!

I have been browsing through the forum and found hundreds of topics how to make your boyfriend a bottom... My case is the opposite- I want to be the bottom and I don't have a clue how to make him fuck my ass!

About us- we are in a committed, long term relationship (ongoing 16 months) and we love each other very much. Our "non-sexual" life is amazing! Sexual isn't bad at all, but it is rather plain. I am the "physical" one, it is usually me who initiates the love making. His sex drive is far lesser than mine. We usually jerk each other off or go between the thighs.

I have previously masturbated with anal stimulation and to keep it short- I loved it. We tried anal sex (me bottoming) and I had the best time- he, not so much. Frankly he couldn't keep his dick hard in the beginning, and he was definitely not having any fun. Sucks for me cos I had loads! Condoms freak him out, he looses his boner (a very impressive one!) as soon as he puts one on.

He is squeamish about the whole ass matter (I am clean btw! Shit was not the problem) and though he acknowledges how much I want him to penetrate me, he avoids it every way he can. I let him... cos I don't want to pressure him into anything he doesn't want to do, but I am slowly getting frustrated.

Hence this question:
How do I make my squeamish boyfriend top the shit out of me? (Not literally...) anybody had an experience similar to what I'm describing?

[MisterLove]

[...] Condoms freak him out, he looses his boner (a very impressive one!) as soon as he puts one on.

[...]

There's nothing wrong with condoms, this is probably just anxiety getting in the way of sex (coital anxiety).

It works like this: when you get anxious, adrenaline and other chemicals in your body constrict peripheral circulation so that blood can reach your vital organs (heart, lungs) more rapidly. It's called fight or flight response, it is a perfectly normal biological reaction and nothing to worry about.

Your boyfriend just needs to learn how to deal with his anxiety, that's it. Some sleep or a warm shower before sex can do wonders - it will relax you and widen the blood vessels that bring blood into the penis to form an erection.

As his partner, you play an essential role here. You probably need to be more patient. Don't be obsessed with penetration, don't rush things, this could only increase his anxiety. Talking doesn't always help either: as we all know, guys are extremely sensitive when the subject is dick, so try to be more subtle.

Moreover everyone is different, some guys like to do it more often, others less often and there's nothing wrong with that.

[MisterLove]

[...] anybody had an experience similar to what I'm describing?

Yes, I used to have the same problem whenever I put on a condom (coital anxiety) but over the years I learnt to deal with my anxiety.

It was very frustrating, I sometimes thought I was a freak but I wasn't: this is extremely common and nothing to worry about, really.

Research was essential: I did a lot of reading on the subject of sexual performance anxiety.

[Woollyhats]

What about condoms freak him out? Latex? Etc.? Try alternatives?

You'll need one to prevent infections. Or rather, he will.

He may also just not like topping. It's not very fun to do something that's... Not fun.

A possible suggestion would be a medication to keep the hardness, but he still may not enjoy it at all.

[partis]

Maybe he just doesnt want to top, i know i dont and nothing could change that because its just the way it is.

The first guy i fooled around with asked me more than once, i was naive back then, if somebody asked me more than once now i would lose my rag (get pissed off)

Why… its the same to me as if a man keep asking his girlfriend to give him anal, it doesnt happen but you feel its ok to pressure a bottom into topping.

Another thing, maybe your ass is not very fuckable!