Conflicting Issue

[ChrisH]

What do you do when:

• You've got a gay friend...
  
• ...that you dated but it didn't really work out...
  
• ...because he sent you d*ck pics...
  
• ...and called you babe and honey and sweetheart the day after the date...
  
• ...and then he confesses that he likes you nearly a year later...and asks you out....
  
• ...but you just got out of a relationship three months ago...
  
• ...and you want to get back on the date/hookup apps/sites despite him telling you NOT to do so?
  

If that makes any sense (it was the only way I could tell this without being wordy)...

I really do not know what to do here...it's conflicting.

Personally, I want to go back on the dating/hookup sites/apps because I'm bored with my single life and I want to experiment a tiny bit...but on the other hand if he finds out that I went back on the sites/apps, it could ruin the friendship.

I should mention that my friend and I met on Jack'd last year before we became friends and before we dated that one time.

[ChadCoxRox]

It didn't really work out so what's the difference? Just make up your mind what you really want and do that. Refuse to play drama club.

[swalter]

You're single, and you want to have fun and play the field for a while. That's the only thing that matters, and that's what you should do. If you live your life based on fear of hurting someone else's feelings, you're going to be miserable, and develop resentment for that person. It's time to put on your Big Boy pants and live how you want. He'll either get over it, or he won't. Either way, that's on him.

[Evan88]

Uhh no... I dont wanna judge him but i already had a glimpse of what kind of a guy he probably is

Maybe you can give him the benefit of the doubt...but what if he is just looking for sex and he would dump you after? I think saying he likes you after 1 year, seems impossible. Like he's been thinking about you for a year now, and he just told it to you now?

That is the problem with dating/hook up sites, you are so close to one another so it's easier to play around.

If you wanna give him a chance, then just rekindle the friendship. Know him more and don't give in easily

[ChrisH]

Uhh no... I dont wanna judge him but i already had a glimpse of what kind of a guy he probably is

Maybe you can give him the benefit of the doubt...but what if he is just looking for sex and he would dump you after? I think saying he likes you after 1 year, seems impossible. Like he's been thinking about you for a year now, and he just told it to you now?

That is the problem with dating/hook up sites, you are so close to one another so it's easier to play around.

If you wanna give him a chance, then just rekindle the friendship. Know him more and don't give in easily

He confessed that he liked me in November, but he knew I was in a relationship at the time. And this was after we saw a Christmas play that I had to go to for a class project. He confessed to it before that in September, out of nowhere. I've told him time and time again, I would rather be friends.

He's been struggling with his parents, and he's been struggling with some other friends of his...and he still can't really get over some of the guys he's messed around with in the past, which is really the reason why I don't want to date him. He hasn't bothered to block any of his skeletons on facebook if that makes any sense.

I don't have the heart to be honest with him because I know he'll overreact, I know that he'll start the blame game - first with me, and then himself. And because he has his emotional moments (another reason why I don't want to date him), it's a bit overwhelming at times...even when I wade through it and give him advice and calm him down a bit.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

He confessed that he liked me in November, but he knew I was in a relationship at the time. And this was after we saw a Christmas play that I had to go to for a class project. He confessed to it before that in September, out of nowhere. I've told him time and time again, I would rather be friends.

He's been struggling with his parents, and he's been struggling with some other friends of his...and he still can't really get over some of the guys he's messed around with in the past, which is really the reason why I don't want to date him. He hasn't bothered to block any of his skeletons on facebook if that makes any sense.

I don't have the heart to be honest with him because I know he'll overreact, I know that he'll start the blame game - first with me, and then himself. And because he has his emotional moments (another reason why I don't want to date him), it's a bit overwhelming at times...even when I wade through it and give him advice and calm him down a bit.

Well then do what you want to do and stop buying into what you perceive of as 'drama'.

Its not like he is going to hold you hostage with demands... is he?

[loserguy]

It didn't work out for a reason.

That is why I don't keep in touch with my exes but I never let any of them go in the first place without attempting to reconcile. There will usually be something there and it gets complicated because the reason you broke up in the first place will always be there too!

[ChadCoxRox]

You "don't have the heart" is a cop out because if you really care you'll allow him to grow from facing the truth. You'd be a better friend and person for it. Stand up for yourself and get out of his way to learn from the situation. He'll love you all the more for it in the long run and you can watch and see if it happens as would be in his best interest and maybe even get a better friend as a result.

[southbiochem]

I really don't understand why you should be answering to this guy for what you do.

He is not your BF, why does it sound like he thinks he has a say?

That alone should send him flying out the door as an option, but that's my opinion.

Get on dating sites, go out there and meeet people, if that's what you want.

things between you 2 did not work for a reason and you stated which was the reason.

Guys that do that don't usually change.

[ChrisH]

We've talked. And I'm making it clear to him that I only want to be friends with him.

But, I do thank you guys for offering opinions and advice.