How would you...?

[Phil]

Deal with an extremely homophobic family....literally violently homophobic :mad: i mean these folks are like summit outta the middle ages i've met one and the only thing stopped me eatin outta a straw for the next 6 months was the fact i was sober enough to reach a weapon....anyhoo the one i met was sposed to be the most laid back :eek: so imaginin "tea" with the rest i had visions of summit along the lines of Texas Chainsaw!
I always thought faced with those type of folk i'd stand proud but......i'm ashamed to say i did the exact opposite in my defense tho (i was thinkin of how things would be for him) i've never had a family so family values are summit i dont have first hand experience with ....but even i think, to come between one has gotta be wrong don't it?
I have ended things just last night but i keep thinkin ...was i hasty...the guy wanted to keep goin discreetly (sp) but i sooooo think its got only hurt in store.....i feel shit atm ...
Anyhoo thats what i did in that situation was i wrong..would you play it differently?

[sox-and-the-city]

You shouldn't have any shame about how you acted. Everybody likes to think they'd stand tall and whatever but having been there a coupla times myself i know it doesn't really happen like that unless you have some kind of weird death wish going on.

Do not, i repeat, DO NOT FEEL ASHAMED.

Just take from it what you can, if there's anything positive you can learn. But no, you did nothing wrong i can see...

Some people are just really rather repulsive to all the senses, in all the senses. That kind of gruntish, ignorant, pseudo-macho behaviour is not only reprehensible but also repugnant. People like that make me think maybe eugenics isn't SUCH a bad idea after all...



xxx

[Phil]

Thanx Sox thats just what i hoped to hear! I jumped loadsa hurdles for the dood but that one was just too high i got 99.9% straight friends too and kool and supportin as they are they still have there own views on gay guys/gals (which i tend to think leans on the everythings for fun and without deeper feelins kinda thang) so hearin the perspective of someone on my level is good thanx!

[sox-and-the-city]

That's what i'm here for mile:

See i'm really lucky 'cos i have a good mixture between all groups in terms of friends, it's quite a lifesaver.

Nobody should have to jump hurdles like that, be it for someone else or for themselves. It's really very touching you'd even risk something like that for someone. But maybe it'd be a good idea to stay away from a guy for whom you'd have to risk that, irrespective of how much you like him. It sucks, i know, but safety first, my friend.

Maybe time to find some new, gay, friends?? Everybody on here is there for you, should you need it

xxx

[Phil]

Sound advice and yer words speak volumes you've really made me feel better in my decision

[sox-and-the-city]

Happy to mile:

If there's ever anything else i can do, just say the word.

xxx

[fjp999]

Looks like the sit has been resolved to your liking.

I would agree with ending all unless you are comfortable to continue reaching for a weapon... I guess I would do the same. Cant stand violence & cant really imagine what you went thru but WoW...

Best of luck to the other guy... if he ever seeks advice I would tell him to leave his family.

[Shadow]

Whilst I have also come to this thread a little late-in-the-day to be useful, as sox-and-the-city has already given you some very good advice indeed, I shall add my two penneth for the record ... mile:.

... I can't help but agree as well to be honest ... there ought to be no reason AT all for people to have recourse to violence simply because they have an issue with a person's race, colour, creed, sexuality or anything else like that ... it's just so wrong !

As for whether to drop your mate or not, that's a decision I cannot advise you on - it's too subjective for me ... I think it would (as fjp999 has said) be perhaps in his best interests to distance himself from a world so restrictive and hate-filled, as that is definitely counterproductive to his future happiness ... but that's his lookout, not yours ...

I certainly don't see anything wrong with backing away from this situation, as it's unhealthy and, to be blunt, not something that you should have to put up with !!

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[andy]

Hey Phil,

Yeah, think you made the right decision! You want to keep your good looks!

As Bo Jacko would say... Shamon MF... I'm a lover not a fighter! heehee :biggrin:

[Phil]

Looks like the sit has been resolved to your liking.

I would agree with ending all unless you are comfortable to continue reaching for a weapon... I guess I would do the same. Cant stand violence & cant really imagine what you went thru but WoW...

Best of luck to the other guy... if he ever seeks advice I would tell him to leave his family.

Thanx dood! i actually made my decision before postin....:redface: was a case of wantin reassurance that i didn't just look after my own benifits and screw him over! I've never been in the situ to want or need a weapon to insure my saftey and violence is summit i see as totally uneeded but the situation was outta my control and that was my only option. Doods still livin at home and is (for reasons unkown to me real close to his family) as much as i think their f*ckin assholes i couldn't be the cause of messin that up

Whilst I have also come to this thread a little late-in-the-day to be useful, as sox-and-the-city has already given you some very good advice indeed, I shall add my two penneth for the record ... mile:.

... I can't help but agree as well to be honest ... there ought to be no reason AT all for people to have recourse to violence simply because they have an issue with a person's race, colour, creed, sexuality or anything else like that ... it's just so wrong !

As for whether to drop your mate or not, that's a decision I cannot advise you on - it's too subjective for me ... I think it would (as fjp999 has said) be perhaps in his best interests to distance himself from a world so restrictive and hate-filled, as that is definitely counterproductive to his future happiness ... but that's his lookout, not yours ...

I certainly don't see anything wrong with backing away from this situation, as it's unhealthy and, to be blunt, not something that you should have to put up with !!

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

Dood you hit the nail on the head! and it weren't too late like everyone i suppose i like to think i'd do the honourable thing...but at the end of the day every situations different ....i totally believe i ended things cause i know how it will end up for him...i got my responsibilities etc in hand so at the end of the day it woulda been summit that i coulda went along with and enjoyed (apart from the beatin part lol) i know i ramblin now but :redface:.....dood was experimentin ...when he looks back now he gonna think yep when things go bad a guys gonna walk away from it ....Anyhoo its done now and i'll live....

Hey Phil,

Yeah, think you made the right decision! You want to keep your good looks!

As Bo Jacko would say... Shamon MF... I'm a lover not a fighter! heehee :biggrin:

Good looks i keep em' upstairs in a box...bring em' out at xmas and stuff! Soooo loved Bo Jacko btw