Feeling alone in a relationship

[freelandia]

Leave him and find someone else

[Cuddly]

This sounds so strange...
All you can do is talk, I guess. Tell him how you feel about it. You have needs and your patience has limits. If he cannot fulfill your needs, then you are incompatible as a couple and prolonging the relationship would only end in disaster.
Does he seem depressed to you? The whole "not met mr. right - maybe" thing seems very .. jaded?

[Rosie]

I believe that some people are asexual, and that it is something they cannot change. I also believe that having a similar libido to that of your partner is very important, and a deal breaker for me. Sex and intimacy are so important in a relationship (unless one is asexual) that I would not be willing to have a sexless relationship, regardless of how much I enjoyed the other person's company. Check out the AVEN forum to see how others sexuals who are in relationships with asexuals make it work: http://www.asexuality.org/en/forum/30-fo...nd-allies/

[MisterTinkles]

If you feel alone in a relationship, then WHY are you still in it?????

You want to put yourself on some heavy drugs just because your BF can't manage a little sex once in a while???? Sounds completely ONE SIDED to me.

If you want to be someone's little bitch-boy slave, then by all means, medicate yourself till you die.

If you want a real relationship, then HE has to make sacrifices TOO! Otherwise he is just a player/user.



Four months is not enough time to be telling if you want to be contaminating your body with drugs for someone else! If you had been together for a year or more, then I can see the problem.
Four months is nothing.


If HE is willing to give AND take............then I suggest BOTH of you go to hypnosis therapy to see if that can work for both of you. He can get it to feel a little more amorous with you, and you can get it to feel less "needy" for sex.

Not everything in life can be solved with drugs.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Your feeling alone.
Your sleeping in separate beds.
Your insecure in the relationship.
You don't allow him to see you naked/undressed.
You want to be chemically castrated (or at least the equivalent to repress your sexual desires)

Remind me who has the issues within this relationship again?

I mean, if your 4 months in, and these issues are already prevalent, then I feel your both wasting your time in trying to make something work, that clearly isn't.

As Megs has said, the both of you need to have a serious 1-2-1 conversation about where this is going, and you both need to be honest with each other.

Woolly says consider sexual/couple therapy. Im going to be slightly more brutal. Save your money. If you need to start spending money on professionals this early in the relationship, then your in the wrong relationship.

Good Luck,
ObW
X

[Evan88]

Sorry to hear, but i think you need to ask yourself if you can live with someone like him for a long time..

I mean you have your needs as well, and being with someone who is asexual is not the best choice for people who has some sexual drive.

Having some medications just to decrease your libido would be quite risky.

The best advice that I can give you though is to talk to a professional about this, this is not an easy decision to make. You definitely need a professional advice.

[BorneoJake]

if he is truly asexual , that's not something he can change . it's a valid sexual orientation like being gay , straight , bisexual etc .

but , he's had "many" sexual partners before you ? was this before he discovered his asexuality ? because it seems strange (to me , at least , maybe i'm totally wrong) that someone could suddenly discover that they were asexual after so many intimate relationships .
maybe someone who knows more about it can explain ?

i believe in asexuality completely . i know that an asexual person can be romantically interested in other people and form good relationships . but surely someone who is asexual would know this early on , rather than after "many" relationships ?

i think there's something else going on with him ... you should talk to him about things

I agree with meg. Perhaps there is something deeper to the problem. I say you should try and communicate with him and share how you feel. Don't take any medication to change yourself.

[Matt84]

Your feeling alone.
Your sleeping in separate beds.
Your insecure in the relationship.
You don't allow him to see you naked/undressed.
You want to be chemically castrated (or at least the equivalent to repress your sexual desires)

Remind me who has the issues within this relationship again?

I mean, if your 4 months in, and these issues are already prevalent, then I feel your both wasting your time in trying to make something work, that clearly isn't.

As Megs has said, the both of you need to have a serious 1-2-1 conversation about where this is going, and you both need to be honest with each other.

Woolly says consider sexual/couple therapy. Im going to be slightly more brutal. Save your money. If you need to start spending money on professionals this early in the relationship, then your in the wrong relationship.

Good Luck,
ObW
X

Older but wiser, I absolutely know I am the one having issues. I'm struggling to understand his asexuality. I know he likes men and the male body. He makes comments on others, he has magic mike on blue ray lol. I'll be honest here and say I'm a bigger boy than him. He is very lean and very toned, I on the other hand have a bit if junk in the trunk and I think that's also building on my insecurities with the lack if intimacy. He says that appearance isn't important to him but maybe it's more important than he thinks.

[Matt84]

Thanks for your opinion, I like your honesty and you have given me a lot to think about.

[dfiant]

Something is not right. You need to find out what is not right. You already do have a suspicion that something is wrong or else you wouldn't be here asking for advice.

Always trust your gut because gut instincts look after your best interest.

You are not happy as much as you lie to us and yourself you will never be happy.

Trust your gut