04-04-2014, 03:10 AM
I really don't know where to turn and I am needing some advice from someone who is the same position as me.
I have been talking with my therapist and he thinks that I am a sex addict, to which I agree. But I don't know where to turn or how to get this fixed. My local town is small and doesn't have a 12 step group or Sex Addicts Anonymous type group.
Here is some background:
I am 28 and I have hooked up about 3 to 4 times a week for the last 10 years, anywhere from Gyms, restrooms, parks, malls, stores, parking lots, hotels, work, craigslist, phone apps, etc. Each time I do this I always have regret and guilt and vow to never do it again. But I always see a trigger and I revert back to my old habits. The problem is I can't eliminate the triggers, because one of them is seeing guys free ball or show a bulge, anytime I see that i get this empty feeling and its almost like I step outside my body and something else has taken control. If I think about a trigger or see one, there is no stopping me. I will go until I find what I want. I have been arrested a few times for hooking up in public and almost been caught be coworkers and family. I have created anywhere from 50+ email accounts over the years because I will create it find what I want and then delete it only to recreate it the next day.
This is killing me inside, because I know its wrong and I want to change, but don't know where to start and don't have anyone to talk to who knows what I'm going thru. The thing that hurts the most is I feel like I have no control, I think about it all the time and it just takes over my life, and until I get off i will not focus on anything else.
Is there anyone out there that has gone through the same thing or is currently that has any advice?
I have been talking with my therapist and he thinks that I am a sex addict, to which I agree. But I don't know where to turn or how to get this fixed. My local town is small and doesn't have a 12 step group or Sex Addicts Anonymous type group.
Here is some background:
I am 28 and I have hooked up about 3 to 4 times a week for the last 10 years, anywhere from Gyms, restrooms, parks, malls, stores, parking lots, hotels, work, craigslist, phone apps, etc. Each time I do this I always have regret and guilt and vow to never do it again. But I always see a trigger and I revert back to my old habits. The problem is I can't eliminate the triggers, because one of them is seeing guys free ball or show a bulge, anytime I see that i get this empty feeling and its almost like I step outside my body and something else has taken control. If I think about a trigger or see one, there is no stopping me. I will go until I find what I want. I have been arrested a few times for hooking up in public and almost been caught be coworkers and family. I have created anywhere from 50+ email accounts over the years because I will create it find what I want and then delete it only to recreate it the next day.
This is killing me inside, because I know its wrong and I want to change, but don't know where to start and don't have anyone to talk to who knows what I'm going thru. The thing that hurts the most is I feel like I have no control, I think about it all the time and it just takes over my life, and until I get off i will not focus on anything else.
Is there anyone out there that has gone through the same thing or is currently that has any advice?
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Aquarius
