Not as I remember them.....

[trialbyerror]

Got these today, not my work, just repeating

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

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Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

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Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon,
'Pies, you dumb ass' !!

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again..

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Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
Shame on you Tinkey...

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Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

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There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad.........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

******************************************************

You have to be old enough to appreciate these.
If you don't understand them, it is because you are too young.

[ChadCoxRox]

Pies you dumb ass.

[Wolfpack]

Brilliant really brightened my day up

[MisterTinkles]

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad.........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

[MisterTinkles]

Little Boy Blue.........and blew, and blew, and blew......

Little Miss Muffet had a sizable tuffet.....big assed ho.

Mary had a little lamb..........and it went well with mint jelly and applesauce.

Georgie Porgie pudding pie, was always horny, and didnt know why.

[Wolfpack]

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke a leaf ,
Jack got high and dropped his fly and Jill said "where's the beef?"

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jump over the candlestick
If jacks so nimble
And jacks so quick
Why is he in the hospital
With a lil burnt dick.

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cubbard
To fetch her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over,
Rover took over
And she got a bone of her own!