How to forget him ? But he is my colleague

[lukeito12]

All,
It's me again. 3 weeks back I took your all advice to leave a guy who is 20 years older than me. Since then I have tried my best to communicate with him without any relationship thought except for job-related topics.

I seldom speak to him unless I needed for him verification for some job matters. Both of us are one internal and one external staff in a same department. I have tried several time to avoid him whenever I can, but how come my feelings still thinking about him?

He has 3 kids. Older is 19. I really dont want to hurt his family and myself too.

Thinking about quitting my job is riskier, as this is the 1st job I have since career switch. Recently, I rejected his phone call and avoid him totally thru taking medical leave as lies reason. That matters really annoyed me a lot especially for my job performance.

Please help me. I dont lose my job and also, is there a better way to keep my emotion down or perhaps neutral while I am talking to him like any stranger (without any love feeling)?

[ChadCoxRox]

You have too much time for yourself, and him. If you find ways to get "out of yourself" and busy helping others, meeting new people or doing things with others and give it time you will feel stronger and stronger, one day at a time. You made a very difficult and painful decision and now you will struggle to stick to it. Sticking with it means you will allow your heart and mind to acknowledge where you have come from, accept it and then stop those thoughts and feelings deliberately. Use substitution with music, art, video, conversation, scrubbing the toilet! LOL As you get another day of painful success you'll get closer and closer to the REAL truth of the matter instead of the heartfelt side of the story that is the past. Best wishes!

[Wolfpack]

Do not throw your job away because of this.
You will have to come to accept that you are just going to be colleagues from now on ( or maybe friends could this work on your part?).
Turn your attention to orther things in your life,and then think about maybe finding someone truly right for you.

[loserguy]

It's hard to avoid someone when you are in love with them

[lukeito12]

Thanks all of you for the advice.

[Wardo94]

In these situations, it's obviously really hard to get rid of the feelings. It is definately not worth it to quit your job over this. The best you could do is keep yourself busy with other hobbies and maybe try to hangout with some other colleagues of yours to keep yourself busy and your mind off of him. Hope everything works out well