Am I Gay?

[DrCox]

Background: 51 year old female. Was married for 15 years. Three grown kids.
I had a string of bad relationships with men for about 7 years after I got divorced. They left me with a bad taste in my mouth for all men. Well not all men but nearly all men. I do have guy friends who I like. But other than the few guys I know, I consider 99% of all men douchebags. Sorry guys. But I prefer to hang out with all women and dont want men around me. This could be due to the long string of bad relationships. I am still attracted to men. Only the really good looking ones that are out of my league (think hot celebrities like the P90x dude, Tony Horton, the Property Brothers, Anthony Kiedis from the Chili Peppers). And I am not attracted to women, except for Jillian Michaels (the one exception). Does wanting to hang out with only women make me gay? It sounds like a stupid question put that way but its really a tough decision. At this point in my life I really dont want a relationship, or an FWB for that matter.

Please help. I am so confused.

DrCox

[ChadCoxRox]

no it does not make you gay...

wanting to have and having sex with women comes closer to the target!

Don't entertain thoughts of being confused, even if you are a little. If you've been in a string of bad relationships with men, and prefer not being in their company...hell take time for you and do what you know feels right and safe for you right now!

It's not confusing...you want to take care of yourself and live with a little peace.

There is a documentary movie on youtube about a parent lady who lives with another woman and they even sleep together but are not gay. And so this parent lady has a son transitioning through sex change. I can't remember the name of it but I bet others here will...

Watching that video about that parent lady may make your day! Hope so.

Welcome to GS!

[DrCox]

Thanks. CC. The video sounds interesting. I probably could live like that with another woman. Don't think I would want her in my bed though. But at this point I really don't want anyone in my bed.

I have no desires to sleep with a woman but I would look at jillian Michaels naked for sure. Maybe I just appreciate a fit body (I am a personal trainer)). I suppose it's normal to appreciate and enjoy looking at good bodies with no underlying sexual desires even if they are the same gender.

I wonder how others knew they were gay.


Laurie

[chillythoughts]

I knew I was gay cus I was only attracted to and wanted to have sex with men only. pretty simple.

[Mark]

I don't think it makes you gay. Just makes you human haha. You seem to have had a bad way with men so thats off the cards for the foreseeable future but it doesn't mean you have to turn to women!

I'd much easier live with women but sleep with men! But doesn't make me straight. Plus you don't have to question it just let things be. Who needs labels? Just go with the flow and have some fun. You've done the serious thing of having kids and being married - now live a little!

[Wolfpack]

I do not think you are gay.
I know i am gay because i am only attracted to men sexually not women,i could not have sex with a women it would feel right for me,the same as you having sex with a woman would
most likely not feel right for you.

[Edward]

I think if you were really gay, you wouldn't have three children, at least not from sex with a male.

Probably you're just hurt by the attitude of the wrong men. Being gay means that you desire people of your own gender in a romantic way. It means wanting to marry, to share your live and your bed with people of your gender.

I'm gay, but I've always felt a bit better in women' company, perhaps because a lot women like gay men. That doesn't make me straight though.

[ChadCoxRox]

Thanks. CC. The video sounds interesting. I probably could live like that with another woman. Don't think I would want her in my bed though. But at this point I really don't want anyone in my bed.

I have no desires to sleep with a woman but I would look at jillian Michaels naked for sure. Maybe I just appreciate a fit body (I am a personal trainer)). I suppose it's normal to appreciate and enjoy looking at good bodies with no underlying sexual desires even if they are the same gender.

I wonder how others knew they were gay.


Laurie

OK I finally found the video I was referencing. I could not remember the details enough and finding it was a process. The video is on Netflix and is about a set of twins who are gay and consider suicide. One is transgender. The mom divorces and makes friends with a woman and they live together as plutonic friends and life partners. It's a special and small part of the film. Here's the trailer...

[ChadCoxRox]

If you have not seen Red Without Blue, it's a nice film. Bittersweet and parts quite painful but FOR REALZZZ!

[DrCox]

The film looks really interesting. Cant wait to see it. I am so busy trying to finish a masters in IT. School is taking over my life.

I wish it were as cut and dry as some of the replies. I have known plenty of women who married, raised kids, then switched over to relationships with women instead. I think its fairly common.

At my age, desires for sex and intimacy comes and goes. Mostly goes, if you know what I mean. At least for women it does, due to biological happenings. So I cant really go by sexual desires or attractions to determine what I am. I am not attracted to nearly all everyday people. But I am attracted to the super hot ones, like I mentioned above. I suppose this is normal too. I stayed up late last night watching the Chili Peppers live at Outside Lands on youtube and was turned on my Anthony Kiedis big time.

But with that being said I still would rather a close female friendship/partnership than one with a man. This is where it gets confusing.

Maybe its more difficult for women to understand. Are there many women here in the boards?

DrCox