Why does everyone want physical?

[partis]

Your not asexual ok, thats not a label or sexual orientation. If you feel no sex drive whatsoever its a physical thing and not something you should accept as say you would accept being homosexual, unless you’ve literally no genitals or they don't work.

I dont believe thats the case as you have said you get turned on by some things, this tells me your with the wrong person.

Also theres nothing wrong with wanting to do things like going for walks and talking as i agree that this is not as important to some guys but NOT all guys.

your not attracted to him and he doesnt want to do anything else but stay inside and cuddle, i bet he never suggests anything either and if you do he’s just like "dont mind"

Love is not always enough.

[Anonymous]

I don't think I need doctor. I'm not crazy. Why is it considered to be abnormal to not want sex? Can't it be just that it's who I am? People are different - someone is straight, someone is gay, someone wants sex, someone doesn't. Also I won't use any medicine as my health is damaged enough already.

Then what being asexual means?

[Mark]

I am in love with him, I know it. I would do anything for him. I definitely don't see him as friend, he's my boyfriend. I can't believe that you're only in love when you want to touch other person. Is it really so?

I think people want to get physical because well one it adds some fun.. And then for another reason when you get intimate with someone its only you that gets to that stage.. you share things that neither of you do with anyone else, (Of course disregarding their history), but its a place both of you go to.

I don't think you are only in love when you want to touch the other person, that would just be silly. You can be in love without a physical relationship. I do wonder if theres some sort of mental block going on though that makes it not seem desirable? I don't think you're crazy either. What I'd find more interesting is discovering the reason why you feel this way - but like I said its not wrong or right its how YOU feel.

[freelandia]

A better question: would we stay together and not have a major blow up in the near future if I were to keep my annoyed attitude regarding sex?

[CellarDweller]

Relationships tend to move forward towards intimacy, but you seem to be brushing off intimacy. Your boyfriend wants this intimacy, but you don't.

You say you don't need a doctor, then perhaps you need to spend some time thinking about why you don't want to be intimate with someone you say you love.

[Tyrion]

Anonymous, your situation seems odd to me because most people have sexual desire.

Question: Are you physically attracted to your boyfriend, or is it entirely emotional? Are you physically attracted to others? Since you're not having sex, do you ever masturbate? I know, personal question, but I'm thinking like others that maybe you are asexual. Or maybe you simply have a really low sex drive. Either way, your boyfriend is going to eventually want sex. It may not be important to you, but to him it is.

[ceez]

There are people there that do not like to be touchy and feely even if it's with the person he\she loves, a lot of women in my family are like that. I think you should tell your bf when the cuddling is going over board but have you two talked about sex yet? the only way I can see this causing a problem is if he's ready for it and you're not. In most cases in gay and straight relationships the active partner will satisfied his needs one way or another.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

"Why does everyone want physical?"

Physical contact serves several purposes in every primate/hominid species. Its primary purpose appears to strengthen social bonds, reducing conflict between individuals.

Pair bonding contact (lovers cuddling and crap) exists to strengthen their relationship with each other so they will work better as an effective team to insure the survival of their offspring.

In your species short term monogamy is typical, usually lasting a few years, and if their is fruit from that pairbonding, it will usually last as long as it is needed to insure that the offspring get to the point where it can take care of most of its own needs. Thus a lot of married couples have a couple of kids, and as the kids reach an age where they can dress, walk and do other things to take care of themselves, the parents tend to grow distant.

A new partnership typically starts of with a strong need for physical contact, hugging, holding, touching which typically pleases both individuals and keeps them coming back to that same individual over and over again building up a sense of need for that individual only. This builds a temporary emotional dependency upon the partner, strengthening the bond between them.

Once the pair-bonding is complete, and both individuals are strongly attached to their partner, the need for touch typically begins to lessen in orders of magnitude depending on the individuals and how they are bonding mentally and emotionally to their partner.

In short, the need for touch is a primal force, that exists solely to insure that your DNA gets its best chance to survive to the next generation.

[Sylph]

Here's my opinion.

First of all, nothing is wrong with no fucking body, just because they don't wanna have sex. I don't find sex interesting at all either. And I'm as prime as a fucking cut steak.

Gay people weren't "normal" so why all of a sudden it's okay to throw around the "normal" card, just because you see more people like yourself?

Don't tell this person what they feel is not normal, cause guess what I feel nearly the same way. So there, your theory is disproven.

It all stems down to who you are as an individual and not about social bullshit or whatever else. We may he sexual, social beings, but that's not to say that's who we must be in order to be "normal".


And despite what the mass community/society wants to think, their notion or idea of labels and the " correct" application and or use of them, is completely individual.

If I wanna call myself Asexual, that's my decision, fuck every body else in the ass and have a good day. Its my life, my reality, so gratefully and as it should for everyone, outside opinions don't mean shit.

This person is going through feelings similar to my own and the only advice I can give to them is to be who they are and do what they feel most comfortable in doing and what makes them happy.

It makes no sense trying to change yourself to please someone else, for the sake of "Normality". If it is a medical and necessary change, then that's an entirely different story, but otherwise, it's completely unwise to advise such bullshit. You don't know what the person may be thinking or going through and unless you have good knowledge on what you are trying to help with, it can end up as an impediment.

Not directing this at anyone, but just the advise in general.

People have told me I'm not normal for not wanting or finding sex and stuff appealing, because I am a young guy, but I feel like I am who I am, and I'm healthy, so why are you telling me bullshit and fairy tales?

I know what an erection is, I have been aroused before, I make sexual innuendos alllllll the time. So I know what sex is, what intimacy is, but just because I don't crave it, that makes me " abnormal"?

And not allowed to define myself my own way?

I'm not sure that is so wise.

Just my 2¢
:hugs-and-kisses-smi

[dianamaria]

Jesus, we're in sync (I just replied to your other thread).

You're on the go (like me), and your partner just finds comfort in nuzzling and cuddling when you'd rather go out and watch a movie, go clubbing, try out a new restaurant, or do anything else but cuddle? Cuddling is nice, but it can be excessive. At some point, he may push you to have sex and you might just have sex. Unless, the idea of sex repulses you? Or he isn't able to turn you on?