Would It Kill You?

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Letmar has raised the flag that I spotted straight away.

You describe yourself as a GM in an Open Gay Relationship. Are you both seeing other people or just one of you?

You see, I am an old romantic at heart and love everything you are trying to do, but (BUT!) if one or both of you is sleeping around, don't you think that kind of kills of the whole romance thing?

Now I know some people will say that having an open relationship can work etc. But for me, its just like, something is missing you know? Im pretty sure there are a couple of threads on open relationships within the forum that talk about the pro's and cons of such a relationship, so I won't cover them here.

But for me, the whole open thing, combined with the lack of romance is just a BRF (big red flag)

Good Luck anyway.

ObW
X

[misunderstood]

open is very broad, are relationship is not open to whomever but we will(but haven't) give a pass for that once in a lifetime type guy. And if i was unromantic i would make a choice to be more romantic and i am a very romantic and i think about every little thing i do towards him to make him happy, but at the same time the issue has been resolved. I recognize and see that everybody has a different type of romance and it may not be the type that i want, but at least it's something.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Clearly you found him attractive and satisfying enough to get to the point of fiancee. I hope when you entered into this commitment you didn't sit there thinking, I can 'fix him' or change him in those few annoying areas, he is perfect mind you, but we can fix this one little thing.

There are things that we can change and things we cannot change. Those things we can change are usually what goes on inside of us how we act and react to those other things - you know the things we cannot change, which incidentally are often things outside of us, like how others act/react.

I seriously doubt he can be 100% the man you think you want. I honestly doubt there is that man in the world. So its not going to be a matter of you getting that perfect ideal mate, its about getting a mate who meets most of your needs/wants and your being able to accept his faults/foibles - those other minor areas where he doesn't strictly match your 'ideal' of the perfect mate.

He most likely does show you his love in his own way, and most likely you are are totally missing that because you have these lofty expectations from him.

And I assure you, the more you try to force him to be something he is not, the more he will hate you, and the more he hates you the more certain the death of your relationship will be.

[matty7]

what makes you the person you are ? u say so romantic etc, part of who you are - and is that how we all should be ? because he doesn't behave exactly like you do then u don't feel a love connection as u say ?, not every one is an extrovert, or supper passionate that they need to show it constantly to others - you haven't said what his qualities are - and they must be many as you have been together 2 years, between the lines I feel its you who just wants the constant attention - he is who he is. the bf you fell for 2 years ago who you say was never the romantic type - why try to change him.. why not change you to accommodate him more ?