My name is Michael

[michaelandspide]

Hi everyone. My name is Michael and my partner's name is Spider. We have been a couple for over 42 years (since 1971). We are both musicians. We grew up in L.A. and back in the day, we were in a band called Red Wedding (L.A.'s first openly gay post punk alternative rock band), but these days we compose soundscape and film score type music here in Tucson, Arizona. If you are at all interested in our musical work, you can go to our Michael and Spider website.

Spider and I have always been an openly gay couple, something that was not always easy back in the early 70's (my own family did not speak to me for nearly 37 years), but our love has stood the test of time and we have had a wonderful life together full of adventures and surrounded by many loving friends.

Last November, we learned that Spider has advanced liver cancer. He is being treated by radioactive isotopes and a chemo pill in hopes of buying him time, but in the big picture, it's not looking good. I can't begin to tell you how many sleepless nights I have had worried about the prospect of losing my best friend and my soul-mate. For Spider's part, he remains upbeat and positive (and he never asks why me). At this stage, we are simply trying to live in the moment and each new day we have together is a blessing.

One of the ways I've been trying to cope with our situation is by writing a blog (a blog in which I am writing about our lives, past and present and sharing some of our music). You see, there are days that are so scary right now that it helps me to write and let go. If anyone is interested, you can go to my-life-on-parade at tumblr. Keep in mind that I'm not a very good writer, but I pride myself on my openness and honesty.

Anyway, I know this is long, but I wanted to share who I am and I'm hoping to connect with new friends, especially friends who can appreciate and understand what we are going through.

I love Spider with all my heart and my wish is that all of you find your true love too.

[Wolfpack]

Hi Michael and welcome to gs
42 years wow that is amazing
sorry to hear about your recent problems
This forum is all about advice,support and friendship so you have come to the right place,hope to chat with you in the future

[michaelandspide]

Thank you, Wolfpack, for being the first one to welcome me. I really appreciate it.

Best Wishes,
Michael

[Mark]

Hey welcome to GS! I'm sorry to hear about your partner - not 100% sure what to say because I can't even imagine the position you are in. I'll look forward to seeing you post around the forum. All the best!

[michaelandspide]

Hi Marky. Thank you for writing to me. Yeah, I wouldn't wish what we are going through on anyone, but at the same time, I realize that we have been blessed with many, many years together (years I would not trade for anything). More importantly, Spider is still here with me at this time and this journey we are on has only made our bond grow stronger. Again, thanks for writing to me.

My Best,
Michael

[LONDONER]

Hello Michael and welcome to GS. Your time together with Spider sounds wonderful and I'm sorry about the predicament that you both find yourselves in now. You both have my heartfelt wishes for a positive outcome to all of this.

Un abrazo fuerte.

[michaelandspide]

Thank you for your heartfelt wishes, Londoner. Right now it's all about buying Spider time, time for us to be together and focus on what is really important, family and friends and our love. As Spider's cancer is too advanced for a transplant, we realize that our time together has an end, so we are grateful for every day we have. Like I said, Spider is being totally upbeat and positive and he is already defying the odds as his liver is riddled with tumors, yet it is still functioning near normal (and that's a miracle in itself). Yes, we have scary days, but most of the time we are just happy that Spider is still here. Thanks again for writing.

Best Wishes,
Michael

[Cuddly]

Welcome to GS Michael.

I sincerely hope we can help serve as a bit of an outlet. Nobody deserves to go through what you both are going through. All I can do is cry and hear you out. Be strong.

[swalter]

Hi Michael, and welcome to our group! I love hearing stories of proud, out couples like you and Spider; it's people like you who paved the way for my partner and I to live a peaceful, loving life together.

I'm so sorry to hear that you and Spider are facing difficult medical issues. If you ever want to talk, or just vent to someone who's outside your life, don't hesitate to PM me. I wish nothing but the best for you, and hope you are able to find some peace and acceptance here.

[CellarDweller]

welcome to the forum, much love to you and Spider.