advice

[fishingfor2001]

I have a neighbor that lives down the hall from me..i have developed an attraction to him..i get horney when I see him in certain clothes and I believe he has noticed me checking him out. I believe he might be gay/bisexual but not sure. how can I let him know that I am interested in him without making it uncomfortable

[corcorz9]

I have a neighbor that lives down the hall from me..i have developed an attraction to him..i get horney when I see him in certain clothes and I believe he has noticed me checking him out. I believe he might be gay/bisexual but not sure. how can I let him know that I am interested in him without making it uncomfortable

Ask him if he would like to go to dinner some night.

[ceez]

you can always speak to him and see if there can be a friendship started.

[swalter]

You should first find a way to let him know you're gay. Maybe insert it casually into the conversation. If he doesn't react badly, or start acting weird, you can move on to asking him if he'd like to grab a bit to eat. Keep it light and casual, as if such an invitation is no big deal. In my experience, most people don't go out of their way to make others feel bad or awkward. Even if he's not into it, there's no reason to assume he'll react poorly, especially if you do like I said and make sure he knows you're gay before you ask him out to dinner. Take a chance!

[Mark]

I'd say just have a general conversation with him and talk about things like that - there is no way to honestly find out unless you ask the person!!

[princealbertofb]

Always awkward... How can he know you're up for it (bi, you said?) without you having to spell the words? Do you wear attire that could possibly classify you in people's minds as gay? Probably not, if you describe yourself as "bi".

Wear a rainbow bracelet or something with a rainbow on it? Come up in the elevator with him displaying the latest copy of gay magazine you've just received? (That may be a problem, more and more people do this online and don't have gay magazines anymore).

Just make friends first. Invite him for a drink, knock on his door to borrow something like an egg or a cup of sugar, or talk about a problem like balcony plants or pets or whatever condominium business may be at hand. Does he own his flat or does he rent? Is he annoyed by the noise going on outside when the gardeners come to trim, mow the lawn? Have you had trouble with the parking situation lately? Any apartment problem can be a good conversation starter. You could also just comment on what you're having for lunch when you come home from grocery shopping (comment on what's in your bags), so do you know what you're having for dinner? Would you like to come and have a bite to eat some time? Here's my phone number. Call me when you're up for it.
In any case study him well, and notice something about him. Then maybe you can ask questions about this or, find something that you think will interest him because you've noticed such and such... You could also ask him to accompany you to a movie or show, if you like such things, because someone just stood you up, for example? You may need to find out a little bit about what sort of work he's in first.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

If he is of the same generation as we are, the topic is going to be uncomfortable no matter.

Unlike the 20 somethings of today, we hail from the dark ages where keeping silent was the best method. Thus even asking point blank 'Are you gay?' is going to result in mixed results.

I know for myself when a person asks me and I don't know them I battle with the issue of 'is this a basher or a real interested party?' In my head and often refrain from saying yes because I have no idea where that question is going.

No doubt you are reluctant to ask or even show your colors because you are debating how 'safe' is this.

Are you able to back up your words? Such as able and willing to fight back if this leads to physical confrontation? If so then blunt honesty may be the best route. "I'm bi... care to hang out?"

Flagging oneself tends to work. Rainbow wristbands, tagging your car with a rainbow. However in this modern era everyone knows what the rainbow, pink triangle and various other 'flags' mean thus it does open the door to potential bashers singling you out for trouble.

I would suggest introducing yourself as a neighbor, and work toward friendship. Used to be 'welcome committees' where certain individuals would come over with a tray of cookies or something and welcome a person to the hood or building. If he is new to the building that may be your toe in the door.

Good luck.

[Harry]

Facebook stalk him.

You can normally tell if someone's gay by their Facebook likes.

[Wolfpack]

Start by trying to be friends with him, if nothing else you can gain a friend.

[jimcrackcorn]

Sounds like it's time to introduce yourself to him. Next time you see him in the hallway, go up to him and say "Hi, I'm Jim from apartment 666 just down the hall from you. I'm having a get-together at my place with some friends and I'd like to invite you over" (or something along those lines)

Set the party date for a week in advance, and quickly invite a couple other people over for the party. If he comes to the party, then you'll have ample opportunity to get acquainted, and hopefully find out if he's into guys.

Best of luck,
Jim