Hows it going
05-03-2014, 12:30 AM
Hey again dude, I tried doing the whole 'quote' thing but it's not working on my PC... I'll figure it out some day!
As I said earlier it sounds to me like your friend is making excuses to herself in order to justify her own sexual behaviour (sleeping with women as well as men) by saying that 'God only said it's a sin for men to have sex with one another, He didn't say anything about women', and if you take the quote directly from the Bible then that's literally true, that's what it says in words but it was meant to be all encompassing and they probably didn't think anything about lesbians at the time of writing for the most part, even when they were writing the King James Bible which is most commonly used throughout the Commonwealth, then again the Bible wasn't written by God - it was written by humans, and then rewritten by other humans many times over who had their own ideas about things etc. I'm not trying to get into an argument about God's existence or His will or anything so please don't think that I am, I'm just trying to figure out her thought process. Her attitude is of course ridiculous - there's nothing wrong with two men having sex, it's a natural and beautiful thing, an expression of emotion/desire etc. which is right for those two people at that moment in time, just as it is in any couple be they straight, gay, lesbian or whatever. Of course I'm limiting this to 'couples' for the moment because to try and talk about other types of relationships in relation to this would take a long, complicated time, but suffice to say your friend (or former friend if that's what she is) needs to sort herself out because the way she's acting she's going to end up hurting someone in the long run and that just isn't fair or right. She's not even really being honest with herself and believe me that's the worst place you can be in, lying to yourself is impossible and it only leaves a feeling of emptiness and anger in place of truth.
Anyways to answer your question although I'm bi I'm not sure I believe in 'open' relationships - I've seen too much pain caused by them in the past but I guess that may be because one person really wanted monogamy but was afraid of losing the other person and so didn't voice their concerns until it was too late. I know that they do work for some people though - it's all about being honest with one another from the start I guess. If I were with a partner who was also bi I'd be willing to discuss their attraction to people of the opposite/same sex but I would still expect them to remain faithful to the relationship that we had and if they felt they couldn't be then I'd want them to be honest with me about it so we could move on from there - in effect he/she go their own way and I'd go mine. Same as if I was with a woman who was 100% lesbian - if she wanted to bring other lasses into our lives then, even if they were hot as hell, I'd still have to say no because to be frank I can't separate 'love' from 'sex' in my own mind/heart. I may very well be tempted but in the end I'd say no, to me trusting someone enough to have that 'connection' with them is almost spiritual, it's something special and so I need someone who feels that way too regardless of their gender. I think it's the poet in me - the hopeless romantic, even if I'm cynical, who yearns for that special someone.
Now if you were to ask me do I think it's possible to fall in love with more than one person in your lifetime then the answer to that is a resounding yes, it most certainly is. Is it possible to fall in love with more than one person at a time, I'm not so sure, is it possible to separate 'love' and 'sex', yes it is but you have to have that mind set and if you do then that's cool - just be careful, some people are less than genuine in their intentions.
Apologies - that post was way longer and way more complex than I meant it to be when I started it!
Take care
X
As I said earlier it sounds to me like your friend is making excuses to herself in order to justify her own sexual behaviour (sleeping with women as well as men) by saying that 'God only said it's a sin for men to have sex with one another, He didn't say anything about women', and if you take the quote directly from the Bible then that's literally true, that's what it says in words but it was meant to be all encompassing and they probably didn't think anything about lesbians at the time of writing for the most part, even when they were writing the King James Bible which is most commonly used throughout the Commonwealth, then again the Bible wasn't written by God - it was written by humans, and then rewritten by other humans many times over who had their own ideas about things etc. I'm not trying to get into an argument about God's existence or His will or anything so please don't think that I am, I'm just trying to figure out her thought process. Her attitude is of course ridiculous - there's nothing wrong with two men having sex, it's a natural and beautiful thing, an expression of emotion/desire etc. which is right for those two people at that moment in time, just as it is in any couple be they straight, gay, lesbian or whatever. Of course I'm limiting this to 'couples' for the moment because to try and talk about other types of relationships in relation to this would take a long, complicated time, but suffice to say your friend (or former friend if that's what she is) needs to sort herself out because the way she's acting she's going to end up hurting someone in the long run and that just isn't fair or right. She's not even really being honest with herself and believe me that's the worst place you can be in, lying to yourself is impossible and it only leaves a feeling of emptiness and anger in place of truth.
Anyways to answer your question although I'm bi I'm not sure I believe in 'open' relationships - I've seen too much pain caused by them in the past but I guess that may be because one person really wanted monogamy but was afraid of losing the other person and so didn't voice their concerns until it was too late. I know that they do work for some people though - it's all about being honest with one another from the start I guess. If I were with a partner who was also bi I'd be willing to discuss their attraction to people of the opposite/same sex but I would still expect them to remain faithful to the relationship that we had and if they felt they couldn't be then I'd want them to be honest with me about it so we could move on from there - in effect he/she go their own way and I'd go mine. Same as if I was with a woman who was 100% lesbian - if she wanted to bring other lasses into our lives then, even if they were hot as hell, I'd still have to say no because to be frank I can't separate 'love' from 'sex' in my own mind/heart. I may very well be tempted but in the end I'd say no, to me trusting someone enough to have that 'connection' with them is almost spiritual, it's something special and so I need someone who feels that way too regardless of their gender. I think it's the poet in me - the hopeless romantic, even if I'm cynical, who yearns for that special someone.
Now if you were to ask me do I think it's possible to fall in love with more than one person in your lifetime then the answer to that is a resounding yes, it most certainly is. Is it possible to fall in love with more than one person at a time, I'm not so sure, is it possible to separate 'love' and 'sex', yes it is but you have to have that mind set and if you do then that's cool - just be careful, some people are less than genuine in their intentions.
Apologies - that post was way longer and way more complex than I meant it to be when I started it!
Take care
X
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