I'm 20, and my BF of 6 months is 29. I'm really crazy about him, he's totally amazing, but sometimes I feel like he doesn't take me seriously. His friends seem to think that I'm some BoyToy he hooked up with for sex, and he doesn't really correct them. He laughs it off and says I'm too sensitive.
I love this guy and he says he loves me but when his friends say this stuff he sort of acts like he's all that. He says I'm too sensitive but I feel disrespected. IDK, am I wrong?
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Best way to know is to sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel. Don't let him tell you how you should feel, because he's implying that you should be less sensitive. He can't change that aspect of you, and probably neither can you. Somehow he's kind of asking you to MAN UP! But would he love you the same way if you were 'wiser', 'harder', more manly? Maybe you could ask him to be careful how he handles this question when you're around, because you can feel the age difference too much. and it's making you feel inadequate and unappreciated, or unloved.
I'm sure he doesn't mean to disrespect you, but your naiveté is showing, probably, and so he can appreciate the humour in the discrepancy . Ask him to explain what's so funny about it. Tell him that his friends can be offensive with their remarks and would he ask them to refrain, please. At the same time, if you could learn to see the funny side of it; it's very flattering for him that his friends should think you're his toyboy. So either you accept that some can see you as a sort of trophy, or you play into their game and join the fun, and by joining deflate the bad feelings. It'll be a while till you prove that you're not just a pretty face (or a pretty body).
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I have an older bf as well. I am 21 and he is 55. I always get people assuming that he is my sugar daddy, I am his sex object, I am using him for money. That could not be further from the truth. I love the man and I know he loves me. That's all that counts.
He occasionally jokes about it. At first it would bother me when we would go out and when I would pay the waiter/cashier would give him my change, or my card. Like WTF lol. After you become more secure in your relationship, things like that doesn't matter. Things that other people say definitely wouldn't matter.
If the comments and jokes are lowering your self esteem and confidence then you need to have a serious talk with him. Just text him and say "We need to have a serious talk" don't give any details about the talk until you guys are actually sitting there talking. No relationship should lower your self esteem because that is abuse.
If the jokes are just annoying and they bother you slightly, laugh about it and make jokes back. Every joke bothers at least one person, so don't take it seriously. Look at family guy, south park, tosh.0 and all of those other funny shows. Those shows are known for disrespecting people, but they are funny as hell lol.
Good luck,
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It's hard to say.. It could be said jokingly, but either way you should laugh it off and maybe retort with a joke about their old age. I'm 25, my bf through 7.5 years is 54.
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who cares how he has to perform for his friends , it how he is with you = hes older and maybe has to act a certain way to his mates ,/// its with you that matters..life is a show , hes performing for his audience , but with you ... is it different,
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Could be he just doesn't care what his friends think of your relationship.
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Aquarius
