Was I Being Unreasonable?

[writerbry]

So, I recently stopped dating a guy after a little more than a month. And the reasoning is more or less that he decided I was too vanilla for him.

He revealed after a few weeks and a little sexual intimacy that he was super into some strange fetishes. He said that his favorite was piss play, which completely and totally repulses me. Like I know I could def never do that, the mere thought disgusts me. He also went through some of his other fetishes and I was like interested in maybe like two or three of them.

So, when he was going to break up with me, he basically said that he couldn't be with someone who wouldn't try everything at least once. So I just felt a little like, huh, I didn't realize that fetishes could be such strong grounds to end a relationship.

Am I at fault for being too "vanilla"? Will this be an continuous issue for me? I really don't need anymore strikes against me when trying to date in that case. Ugh, I'm just like so confused about this. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one in the world with the sames wants and desires in regards to relationships.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

No your not wrong or unreasonable.

Sexual compatibility is equally important within a relationship as anything else. If there is an incompatibility, then one or other within the partnership will look elsewhere to have his desires/fetishes fulfilled.

And while there will always be extremes when it comes to sex and sub culture fetishes, there is absolutely nothing wrong with plain old vanilla in my opinion.

Well done on sticking to your principles

ObW
X

[writerbry]

No your not wrong or unreasonable.

Sexual compatibility is equally important within a relationship as anything else. If there is an incompatibility, then one or other within the partnership will look elsewhere to have his desires/fetishes fulfilled.

And while there will always be extremes when it comes to sex and sub culture fetishes, there is absolutely nothing wrong with plain old vanilla in my opinion.

Well done on sticking to your principles

ObW
X

Thank ya! I still feel sad about a fetish breaking up a perfectly fine relationship otherwise, but what you said about one partner looking outside the relationship to fulfill the desire really made me get it.

[HumbleTangerine]

It's not unreasonable at all. I don't consider myself vanilla at all, but I wouldn't do anything piss-related either. I think stuff like that is somewhat unusual though, and I don't think being vanilla is going to be a problem with most guys.

[Mark]

As said above everybody is into different things. Just because you don't like them doesn't mean you should give in to suit someone else - He would of seen it repulsed you and then been angry that it went so bad haha.

You will discover what you are really into and it will be less 'vanilla' than you thought haha.

[matty7]

welcome to the vanilla fan club . anyone urinates on me for fun or otherwise would be leaving a tooth or 3 less, each to their own I suppose but don't force it anyone - that's just wrong

[jimcrackcorn]

I agree with Matty. You pee on me, and I'll show you my cast iron skillet!!!! Bang!!!

As I see it,, you make love to your boyfriend,,,, and peeing on him isn't "making love".

[writerbry]

I agree with Matty. You pee on me, and I'll show you my cast iron skillet!!!! Bang!!!

As I see it,, you make love to your boyfriend,,,, and peeing on him isn't "making love".

IKR! Like what part of peeing on someone is romantic?

[Pix]

Sexual desires are mysterious and can be really weird. I think the weirdest (though not most repulsive) I've heard of was a guy who could only get turned on by cacti (he had a way of cutting into them so he could use one without hurting himself). How in the hell did that ever become a fetish? :confused:

At least feet I understand because somewhere I read that the part of the brain that deals with feet is immediately by the part of the brain that deals with sexual parts, so I can understand how neurons could "crossover" into the vicinity "next door" and thus create a foot fetish (a strange but harmless one IMO, save when people compulsively share their fetish online where inappropriate, like on a Disney stars YT channel, though all too many guys feel compelled to tell us when they're stroking it anyway and I suppose saying what he wants to do with her feet is better than what he's doing to his penis as he watches).

I don't judge "water sports" but also can understand why some people refuse to take part. That's fine, everyone needs to fine someone they're compatible with.

I do recall reading of a woman who said she feared getting married as her grandmother warned her "EVERY man has a fetish" and dreaded learning what her husband's fetish would be. And then she busted him cross dressing and he was upset until he saw she was okay with it...because she figured she discovered his fetish and was something she could live with so she could finally relax with no more waiting for the other shoe to drop.

[Wade]

"It's hard to introduce piss into a relationship"

-Late comedian Patrice O'neal


Start at 44 mins 0 seconds.





.... Writerbree... you might've been able to save a life.