why do straight guys flirt with gay guys?

[dblockdavis]

So there is this guy i can't really figure out. Its been a long time since i have seen him. He claims he is straight when he is talking to other guys, but i know for a fact he breaks off the relationship before it gets physical with a girl and he wont even "kiss". He has flirted with me, rubbed the hair on my arm, commented on my eyes, picked tape or something sticky off of my shoulder, told me he was excited when he gets to see me "so i do get to see you later!". I have also seen him staring longingly at me, and when i caught him he looked startles. I have also seen him looking at my butt with a smile on his face. He then immediately cut off all contact with me. Now, (years later), i hear randomly from someone that he is asking about me. I have not seen him in a long time. I'm like "what does he want!" He says he is straight, and makes other people think he is straight, so thats what i accept. He would rub the hair on my arm, blow on my neck, and he actually said "I want you to put it in my butt" to me. After he cut off all contact, he turned on me, and said "I am another dude!" Why would he pretend to flirt with me, then come looking for me years later. Someone that talked to him told me that "he totally wants to sit on it". i know that he moved out on his own, and his family is very conservative. When we parted ways he cut off all contact. He was still living with his family that will probably disown him if they found out. They moved away literally days before he came looking for me. He says he is straight to other people, yet he didnt want me to know he had a girlfriend. Now that his family left, i heard he didnt? wtf? Any thoughts? He asked for me at work and i was told that he asked "when" i was going to be at work.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Life would be so much easier for the LGBT community if everyone went around with a sign on their forehead declaiming their sexuality. Unfortunately, with few exceptions, that's not the case.

Why not try and establish a friendship in order to find out just what his intentions are. Coffee, lunch, movie? Anything that gets you both someplace where you can at least feel free to talk without you being overheard by coworkers. Use it as an excuse to catch up on what's been going on.

Social media is as good a place to start as any, so why not see if you can friend him first and see if he accepts.

I would just mention a word of caution. There are some straight guys who can be very "touchy freely" when it comes to interacting with either sex, so don't over read anything into his actions, at least at this stage.

Seems to be you have nothing to loose, so why not reach out via a common friend and just see where things go.

to the forum btw

ObW
X

[Cuddly]

Another question you could ask is why do gay guys flirt with girls?
Because it's fun

There was a guy at uni, who would touch me every chance he got. Only me. It was nice, but I was dumb enough to question him about it last week, exclaiming "Why are you touching me?!?!". So now it's just awkward. I am hoping he will touch me again, not because I'm attracted to him or because I think he's gay (or want him to be), but because it's nice to be touched

[Wolfpack]

He maybe gay, or could be straight and just messing with you. Difficult to tell.
Why not just ask him straight out what his intentions with you are all about, a honest question might get you a honest answer, and save from this heartache of guessing.

[CellarDweller]

I don't think I've ever had a straight guy flirt with me.

[writerbry]

Honestly, I think it might be an ego thing. I've had straight guys and friends who have flirted/ border line seemed like they were hit on me. Rarely, but sometimes you'll get straight boys who are willing to hook up with gay guys for just sex, but that's a whole different conversation.

Lots of them just want a confirmation of their attractiveness and don't care who strokes their ego. I have a straight guy friend that will randomly just send me dick pics and be like, if I was gay, wouldn't you be all over that? So like Idk, the heterosexual male is a people that I gave up trying to figure out a long time ago. There just seems to be a really bad double standard with them. Because if you like flirt with them or send a pic, they sometimes freak the f*** out lol

[dblockdavis]

I was utterly convinced that he was into me. Back when we were friends, he wanted to "compete" with me for the affects of a hot girl, to see who she would pick. She picked him. He is like 100000 times better looking than me. I know he uses his looks to have an effect on people. He told the person who he asked about me that he can finally get some "hos" now. Hos meaning girls, because he is out on his own. You guys seem to think he was doing that to boost his ego. He would look at me, ect, rub my arms, ect. I wanted for it to be true... what do you guys think?

[AlfredM]

There was a guy at uni, who would touch me every chance he got. Only me. It was nice, but I was dumb enough to question him about it last week, exclaiming "Why are you touching me?!?!". So now it's just awkward. I am hoping he will touch me again, not because I'm attracted to him or because I think he's gay (or want him to be), but because it's nice to be touched

Oh LOL,the same exact thing is happening to me. He was my room mate last year and this year he's just a floor mate,but almost every time he visits my room,there must be some kind of skinship. Since there was once this time he almost went over the line by pretending to shove his dick to me asking to suck it and suddenly he was repulsed by his action,so I'm pretty sure he's straight,or at least sexually fluid but doesn't even realize it. Either way,he's the one who needs to figure it out.

Anyway,it is so nice to be touched,so I just let it happens without taking too much meaning behind it. :p

To OP,he could be in a phase,or not,you'll never know,don't put too much thought on it. If he made another contact with you,maybe you could at least confront about why he cut off all contacts with you and suddenly contact you again. And if the last pattern of touching and flirting happen again,and you don't like it,just tell it to his face.

[dblockdavis]

So, he may have just been pulling my leg? hes way better looking and in better shape than me. Maybe a too good to be true moment. He also would never talk to me about girls, or his girlfriend that he had. he would talk to other straight guys about it too. Hes also quite religious. I overheard him say "gay people think god loves them, but its adam and eve not adam and steve". He said it where he knew i would hear it. I also never told him that i was gay.

[Blake]

Honestly, I think it might be an ego thing. I've had straight guys and friends who have flirted/ border line seemed like they were hit on me. Rarely, but sometimes you'll get straight boys who are willing to hook up with gay guys for just sex, but that's a whole different conversation.

Lots of them just want a confirmation of their attractiveness and don't care who strokes their ego. I have a straight guy friend that will randomly just send me dick pics and be like, if I was gay, wouldn't you be all over that? So like Idk, the heterosexual male is a people that I gave up trying to figure out a long time ago. There just seems to be a really bad double standard with them. Because if you like flirt with them or send a pic, they sometimes freak the f*** out lol

I can't agree more.
Many straight men apparently think if gay men have the hots for them, so will women. So they end up casually touching and flirting with gay men like us.
I get touched by straight men like, literally ALL the time.
I'm in college now and I have this group of guy friends who are supposedly all straight (have /had girlfriends) but are mostly really touchy with me all the time, except for maybe 1 or 2 of them.