Depressed

[Jahed]

How do you deal with being mentally scarred?

[ChadCoxRox]

Its long term, I've always been depressed.

That took you long enough. geezzz been waiting to hear back!
OK so you ARE depressed. I believed you from the start.
But sounds like depression and not just depressed.
Heavy shit sucks.
I hope things get better quickly!!!

[ChadCoxRox]

How do you deal with being mentally scarred?

I know for me that being mentally scarred is the very foundation for being depressed as fuck!

It is also the foundation for some of the most beautiful and bittersweet and endearing and amazing stuff on the planet!!

Hope you'll find a way to channel the crap into something that shows both the tragedy and the silver lining. I'm sending you wishes for inspiration and tolerance and peace!

[James]

How do you deal with being mentally scarred?

Mentally, emotionally, feeling so alone, yes, walked that path, first, you are not alone, as how to deal with It, not easy but those of us that have been tormented with the ghosts of the past have found talking with others about what happened and know you are not the only one who has been through this helps alot. Ptsd isn't limited to combat vets. It is something quite real that many people have to deal with everyday. Knowing someone cares can make a Huge difference in how you feel. Find someone to talk to here or in your real life, not that this isn't real, but virtual only goes so far cause you can dismiss it, real life that's harder to do. Please try to find someone that has been there and will share the whole story with you, Jim

[Tyrion]

Listen to happy music and think happy thoughts. Life gets better and whatever troubles you're having will pass, in time. Just work hard and be proud of your work, when you've finished!

Totally agree with this, but strangely i find that listening to depressing / dark music is more helpful when I'm depressed than happy. When I'm feeling down the last thing I want to hear is a happy upbeat song. Something about listening to something I can relate to at the time is a way to vent and help myself. But that's me :O

THat said, OP, if you've always been depressed then that may indicate a problem. I'd suggest talking to someone like a therapist. It can help.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

How I deal with being mentally scared is unique to the nature of my scars and how I tick as a half-human.

Things I apply are:

1. Treating myself to good things even when I feel I don't deserve them.
---> For instance recently I made myself a lemon cake. Understand I usually make chocolate cake because my roommate detests lemon cake. This was an act of selfishness to make a whole cake for myself. It was good and I made certain to enjoy every lemony bite of it.... Well I did share with my dogs.

2. Meditation.
--> I stare at a candle flame and empty my head of thoughts and 'ground' myself mentally thus emotionally. There are many methods to meditate, finding one that works for you depends on you.

3. I don't 'should' all over myself.
--> Its the same as shitting on yourself. Depressed people get into the 'I should ______(fill in the blank)' mode. This is dangerous and leads to more depression. There is very little one 'should' be doing in life. Depressed people take 'should' to all new levels.

4. Reasonably pace myself.
--> I have a tendency to over do everything when depressed - from drink too much alcohol to throw myself into work to the point where I hurt myself physically. Moderating my activities becomes important to 'treating' my own brand of depression.

5. Allow scars to bleed occasionally.
---> I have scars, they will never actually heal so they are more like semi-open wounds. I have to find a balance between hiding those scars and allowing them to bleed. I allow myself some time in my life to focus on the 'shit' in my life and shed a few tears, or rage at the machines that made those scars.

I do this in constructive ways - ways I learned through therapy sessions with a lot of therapists.

6. I use my tools.
---> I went to many therapists (psychologists) and together we discovered what works best for me. Coping skills, dealing skills - figuring out a balance between allowing myself to bleed a little and either shutting down totally or hemorrhaging until I'm dead. The tools I have are for me. Finding your tools is a journey, there are may tools - however finding the ones that works best for you is largely trial and error.

7. List ten things that are good in the world in the morning.
---> For me I "down" on the whole world. Everything I see is dark and ugly. I make a list of ten things in my head each morning that make the world a prettier or better place. such as Roses, my gods, erm dogs, lemon cake.... Through the day I recall my list and allow myself to smile.

8. Defects of character I choose to keep.
--> We all have defects of character -issues/personality disorders. No one is perfect. I have worked on a lot of my 'crap' through the years and have changed a good deal about myself. However there are a few defects of character I choose to keep - they are part of who I am as a personality. They allow me to have my own unique take on life

Further more, since I know these are defects of character I can better regulate them. They are defects, most people don't like them - so I learn to temper those defects to the best of my ability so as to not sledge hammer everyone with them.


As for yourself - you need to dig down and figure out what ails you. I strongly suggest using a therapist to do so. A good therapist asks you 'how does that make you feel' and suggest different things to look at. They listen and ask the obvious questions helping you to ask those questions of self.

The tools I use mayn't work for you. There are a lot of tools out there, finding your set that works for you may be an interesting journey, but it is one well worth the trip.

Lastly - be good to you.

I tend to sign a lot of my missives with that - few people tend to be good to themselves. Learning how to do that makes life far, far easier.

[Jahed]

Today, I got in a fight in school, this boy in my class always takes the mick out of me, usually I just laugh along.
But today it was abit too far, I don't know what happened I just blanked out and went for him, he ended up busting my lip though. Ruined my day.
Bad mood today. Feel so weak.

[ChadCoxRox]

Today, I got in a fight in school, this boy in my class always takes the mick out of me, usually I just laugh along.
But today it was abit too far, I don't know what happened I just blanked out and went for him, he ended up busting my lip though. Ruined my day.
Bad mood today. Feel so weak.

You should take self defense training! It would help you in SO many different ways not the least of which would be depressive thoughts and feelings. Sorry for the pain but glad you stood up. He won't be expecting you to keep your eyes open next time!

[Jahed]

I have ADHD, it makes me feel not normal, not human and academically stupid.

[Wolfpack]

I have ADHD, it makes me feel not normal, not human and academically stupid.

You have a health problem. But you are still human and perfectly normal, and deffently NOT stupid. Do not be so hard on yourself.