hello Everyone New Here

[SoverignQuantum]

Hello everybody I am new here and I have come to the conclusion after the past few years that I am gay and I am nervous as hell about it. I'm not sure how to deal with everything, mainly telling the family. I don't know how to even begin. Any comments would be gladly apericiated.

James

[matty7]

hi and welcome - you have taken the first step just by joining gayspeak , telling family and friends is the big one so im sure everyone here will help you along the way , take care

[nullnaught]

I consider myself bad at advice, so i would just like to say hello and good luck with everything. john


A fellow californian i believe.

[SoverignQuantum]

hi and welcome - you have taken the first step just by joining gayspeak , telling family and friends is the big one so im sure everyone here will help you along the way , take care

The thing is I have family who would come around like my mother but I also have family who completely hate gay(I live with the homophobe) people and others know I'm not sure at all. My little sister would probably accept but might through it out in the open when she got mad.

[CellarDweller]

welcome to the forum!

[gilhooly]

Dear James,
The sooner you come out, the sooner the pain will end. No one can stand pain forever. People are often disappointed when you come out. Your parents will feel enormous guilt and blame themselves. Make sure you tell people that this is how you feel. I came out, my parents accepted and they still stayed happily married and enjoyed being straight.

People have ridiculous fears. Is being gay contagious? Will everyone try to sexually assault me.
This is tough. Try to be an island of calmness in a hurricane. People will come to you for comfort. Don't force them to give you approval. It may take them a year or more. You have spent years. Respect the difficulty you are causing them and never let them BLAME themselves.

At first being gay is a nightmare. HA HA Then comes the day you meet the right guy. Your heart pounds and you LOVE being gay. Takes awhile. Love is worth waiting for.

Make it your business to help your family and friends adjust. Relationships some time get better when they are tested by difficulties. You are a difficulty, get over it and worry about others. It will make you stronger and ready for a serious relationship,

Good luck
John Marren

[ChadCoxRox]

Welcomes James! I'll look forward to reading about your journey and hope you'll find comfort in GS!!

[EvenOlderButWiser]

to the forum James.

Most people are homophobic through fear and ignorance, and not because they hate gays per say. That fear and ignorance is then used by the real haters to stoke up anti gay feelings within the community at large.

My experience is that once family and friends know your gay, and realise your still the James you were before you told them, that predjudus simply drops away.

However there are of course always exceptions to every situation, and in those cases your never going to overcome their ingrained stance towards the LGBT community. You have already identified people around you who will likely be supportive. When the time is right, tell them first.

Coming out as gay does not make you any more or less gay, it just changes other peoples view of you, so don't feel pressured to come out.

ObW
X

[Miles]

Welcome, you'll be ok

[NayNay]

Welcome