Does Coming Out Get Harder As We Get Older?

[Brett240]

I've been reading a lot of posts from people my age and older who are hesitant about coming out. It makes me wonder if the longer you wait, the harder it is. I came out to everyone when I was 15. I was, basically, a defiant brat with no real concern for anyone's feelings but my own. My attitude was, I'm not ashamed and I'm not hiding.
My father spent two years trying to "fix" me, and then, on my 17th birthday, told me I either had to "get over" being gay or leave his home. So I left.
It meant working full time during my last year of high school while still keeping my grades up enough to get college scholarships. Going from an affluent home to learning the hard way that groceries are more vital than concert tickets.
My parents haven't spoken to me in 3 years and I'm not allowed to see my younger brothers because, as we all know, gay is contagious. I have an amazing older sister and an uncle who have supported me every step of the way.
I really feel that no matter how difficult and traumatic coming out can be, living a lie has to be worse. As hard as it's been, I wouldn't go back and change what I did. I probably could have handled it a lot better at the time, but the fact remains that I'm comfortable with myself and who I am. It was worth it.

[LONDONER]

It's not that it's harder but simply you get to the stage when you have lived like that for so long that it really doesn't matter any more.

[shane82]

I really feel that no matter how difficult and traumatic coming out can be, living a lie has to be worse. As hard as it's been, I wouldn't go back and change what I did. I probably could have handled it a lot better at the time, but the fact remains that I'm comfortable with myself and who I am. It was worth it.

This is fantastic wordmile:

[CellarDweller]

I agree with Londoner.....each person comes out at their own time, when they are ready. I don't think it's any harder as a teen than as an adult.

[Cuddly]

I guess the longer you live the lie the bigger it gets, making it harder to tell the truth.

[kidchameleon]

I'd say with coming out, it seems to be more... "dramatic" the younger you are (either for good or bad), but I'd say the older you get, the less need there is to coming out.
I mean, obviously there's something quite liberating about announcing yourself to the world, but I don't think it's "living a lie" if you don't want to make a big deal out of your sexuality. But as far as "harder" goes, I think it would primarily depend on the person, and their timing, less than their age. For instance, a man at 40 telling his friends he's known for 1 year is probably going to have an easier time than a guy at 20 telling his friends he's known for 10.

[Wolfpack]

I think coming out at any age can be hard.

[ceez]

in my own opinion, and i think most of you will agree, lgbt people are a little stronger than the average straight person because of stuff like this happening. I've read many stories of people coming out at a young age and were kicked out on the street because of it and had to find out how to survive on there own. I do believe that in most cases it's easier to come out when you're older because the older you are (gay or straight) the less you care about what people think of you. but it is hard, if not harder, to come out later in life when you are married with kids. kudos to you Brett, you've done something I have only dreamed about.

[JWS]

I'd say harder because I was 22 which is still young but I'd had long relationships with girls that I didn't want them to think they meant nothing to me because they did. I also work in construction/building so it makes a lot harder to be open about it.
Not that I really want to shout it out to the world haha.

[Ekwarph]

IMO, it is like a potential curve.
Too young, you are not mature enough to bear how people may see you regarding your sexuality, and....too old, people know you too much as an adult, and would get more surprized...

At leat, it's my opinion, there's kind of an optimum.