Neither of you are at fault. Things often don't work out. When I think back over all the guys I knew in 68 years, I am overcome with ennui. a sense of loss over some guys I fantasized about. I wonder if he could have loved me. One time the guy had a wife. Sometimes I loss to women. Sometimes I loss to other men.
Keep good thoughts of the guy. You may meet him again at 32, 42, 52 even 62. Remember and tell him why you remember him. The spark that dies today can be rekindled later. Just blow on it a bit and get something started.
I enjoyed reading your thread. Thanks for posting it.
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Thank you all for your words of encouragement. It has certainly helped!
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My first semester at WCU was a disaster in every way I was financially struggling trying to maintain some form of stability with tuition costs more than doubling. being at a new college was extremely hectic and learning where to go for help was a nightmare, my girlfriend whom I had just broke up with was one of the cruelest living humans I’ve ever met screwed me over so much mentally I had literally reversed what I seen as attractive, every time I seen a pretty girl the FIRST thought that came into my mind was I bet she is a B**** My near straight A's and honors society like Phi theta kappa went down the drain in one semester, one of the worst times in my entire life happened. I was confused with myself my surroundings and wedged into a infinite loop of is he cute? yea he is cute ^_^ . that’s sick I should feel ashamed of myself he is a guy. I went to several online resources thinking something was wrong with me, I couldn't be attracted to guys no way! I found this site GS and had some the best advice given that I have ever had, I felt at peace with myself enough that I began to look for people like me that I could hang out with and made a POF account looking for friends and thought if something crazy awesome happens maybe more. I talked to allot of guys and met two in RL with a third meeting on the weekend (that didn’t happen for reasons I will explain in a moment) the first guy was pretty cool we had several things in common and things were great, we chatted on and off, the people I talked I seen as friends nothing more but this guy made reference to boyfriend which I immediately corrected. We had planned to see a movie together which he had to cancel due to reasons outside his control the next day the other guy I met in RL we went to eat then went to the movies and I felt something click this guy was so perfect, so great that I felt like a MILLION dollars, butterfly’s and all, things went so well we wanted to kiss each other a the end but me being the stick in the mud I am I did not act. The guy I was going to go hiking with that weekend I contacted him and gave heads up what had happened and that I didn’t feel right going on the trip. The first guy was informed and I said I wanted to remain friends but the conversations were awkward I could tell he wanted more and he asked several times about my feeling towards the guy I was dating. Time moved on and conversations continued to feel so awkward the questions that were asked were not the kind a friend would ask and I began to realize I could not be just friends with this individual who liked me in a different way and wanted more, I did what I thought I had to do and ceased talking to him.
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^Maybe your friend has evolved since you last talked to him. I can understand why he did those things, because he just got news that the person he liked was interested in someone else. In my case, I have moved on to a guy who is great, but it still breaks my heart because I never got to find out how much of a friend this other guy could be. If I could have took back the feelings I had expressed for him, I would have. I would give anything to just have him as a friend again...
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Me again. I just wanted to thank you all for your warm thoughts. I've been touch and go lately, with listening to Sam Smith's album, "In the Lonely Hour" and reading "Something Like Summer", which reminded me of this scenario.
I still hope every day that he will text me and ask if we can remain friends. I wish him the best of luck with his BF, and wish that I could still be a part of his life, in whatever capacity he wants me to be.
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Nice to hear from you again, it would be nice for you if you and your ex can manage to be friends, and hopefully you will meet someone else in the near future.
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Yes I hope so too. It's not like I haven't been able to communicate with other guys. I have. And maybe even be close to a relationship with one guy. But what happened between me and this other guy has me holding back. I guess I'm looking for some sort of closure.
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