Pretending to be macho?
05-17-2014, 08:52 AM
Its a rabbit hole.... There is a longish history of what 'gay' is.
I don't know about the 21st century, but in the 20th century (the last time I did the scene) there was decidedly bias against 'straight acting' gay males.
The very term 'straight acting' tells the tale of the underlying belief that you are acting straight (macho/manly/male - whatever).
Back in the 1950's gay was 'creepy dude'. as in Norman Bates creepy. If you watch movies of the pre-1950's Gays were villians, creepy - odd. Not actually campy or effeminate but decidedly 'off'. This was society trying to make gay something one can clearly see. The reality was that most gay men acted no differently out of the bedroom to straight men.
The Stonewall Riots. The mythology was what gay guys look/at like kicked off that watershed event. However the truth was it was cross dressers that started that ball rolling. Gay wasn't the legal problem, men wearing woman's clothing was what was upsetting the decency laws of the time. Prior to that moment most gay men were 'straight acting' - meaning they were typically male in appearance and behaviors.
Adopting effeminate mannerisms was a hat tip to our Trans G/S leaders who kicked off the riots and started the revolution.
The whole 'being out' thing required a facade to make it clear 'I'm queer, I'm here' gay suddenly became an 'identity'.
This is where a lot of the myth about what being gay stems from. It is a cultural adaptation - just like a black man adopts 'gang-banger' or talking 'Ebonics' to fit into his niche, like cheerleaders adopt 'bitch' to fit in her niche - like jocks adopt stupid, Neanderthal thug to fit in his niche. The sterotypes based on a minority of a group are adopted by the majority of the group to make it clear that they are part of that group. And yes that does include the negatives as well as the positives.
Look at any high school and observe the social niches - most people in those niches dress/behave and adopt that niches' stereotypes in order to signal they are part of that niche. Its a vicious self feeding circle.
Lisping, limp wrists, snapping fingers, Fabulous - all are pretty much adopted by most gay men once they hit the scene. Gay mythos insists 'this is gay' and gay society adopts it, embraces it and uses it to identify as 'gay'.
Media has not helped, it paints the typical gay male as campy - it is a 'default character role' that makes it clear that the guy is gay. Its so universal and stand up comedian can hold his arm out and let his hand go limp and everyone knows its the universal sign of 'gay'.
The media is trying to break away from the campy gay male... This may be reflective that societies (both gay and straight) are rethinking what 'gay' looks like. One can hope.
Through the years certain expectations have just cropped up and sadly a lot of gay men buy into the 'facts' about what being gay is about. Not liking sports, having a sense of color, a sense of fashion, interior designers, hair stylists. The the more dangerous stuff like promiscuity and anal sex. Most gay men don't like anal - they do it because they feel its expected.
There have been more than a few in the closet gays who fear coming of the closet because they believe that in order to be out that they have to put away sports, hunting flannel and jeans and adopt all sorts of mannerisms in order to 'fit in' with their subgroup.
To make it worse, a lot of new guys to the scene put away their 'masculinity' in favor of a more effeminate nature because they desperately want to fit in. I have seen a few 'sports playing/manly dudes' turn over a new leaf to become campy queens.
If you play sports you are on the 'down-low'... A America Foot ball player just stepped out of the closet - reactions are varied, but everyone is thinking his playing sports was his way to 'hide' his gayness and most likely now that he is gay he won't play well. Thus his draft options has been greatly reduced.
Its worse if you are a bottom - the expected behaviors of a bottom is to be campy. If you are 'straight acting' you are assumed a top. Truth is there are effeminate (naturally effeminate) men who are total tops - they also get hit by this expectation of what 'gay' is and what your behaviors of character mean to your role in bed.
It doesn't help that society as a whole has painted homosexuals in a negative light. Such as the myth that gays can't like sports - Bull dykes excluded because, as we all know, lesbians are supposed to act like men (Much to the chagrin of the lipstick lesbians).
Effeminate males do happen, not all are gay (many are straight). And many 'manly' women happen as well, not all are lesbian (many are straight). They also get blindsided by the expectations of what 'gay' is by society - bother hetero and gay mythologies.
There are a lot of straight acting gay males out there. Most of us hide out in the more rural areas (where the lesbians live:tongue
and just steer clear of the scene due to the amount of dislike we get. So we who are 'masculine' help perpetuate the myths by just opting out of the gay culture letting the clubs be full of campy queens and over the top types.
The more recent historical period of the Metro-sexual hasn't helped. Men are being forced to be more sensitive, more fashion concerned, more into skin care and crap like that. Gay but not gay.... Society is sick.
This guy most likely sees 'straight acting' behaviors in a gay guy as a gay guy overcompensating and 'hiding' his sexuality since he bought into the mythology that to be gay means to be campy/effeminate or obviously gay and to dislike 'straight man' activities... like hunting, sports, camping, working on car engines....
Considering the decades of programming society has foisted on us, its not really surprising that people believe certain myths.
Back in the 20th century it was far worse to be a straight acting gay man in the scene than what I hear about the scene today. So the old stereotype expectations may actually be going away.
I don't know about the 21st century, but in the 20th century (the last time I did the scene) there was decidedly bias against 'straight acting' gay males.
The very term 'straight acting' tells the tale of the underlying belief that you are acting straight (macho/manly/male - whatever).
Back in the 1950's gay was 'creepy dude'. as in Norman Bates creepy. If you watch movies of the pre-1950's Gays were villians, creepy - odd. Not actually campy or effeminate but decidedly 'off'. This was society trying to make gay something one can clearly see. The reality was that most gay men acted no differently out of the bedroom to straight men.
The Stonewall Riots. The mythology was what gay guys look/at like kicked off that watershed event. However the truth was it was cross dressers that started that ball rolling. Gay wasn't the legal problem, men wearing woman's clothing was what was upsetting the decency laws of the time. Prior to that moment most gay men were 'straight acting' - meaning they were typically male in appearance and behaviors.
Adopting effeminate mannerisms was a hat tip to our Trans G/S leaders who kicked off the riots and started the revolution.
The whole 'being out' thing required a facade to make it clear 'I'm queer, I'm here' gay suddenly became an 'identity'.
This is where a lot of the myth about what being gay stems from. It is a cultural adaptation - just like a black man adopts 'gang-banger' or talking 'Ebonics' to fit into his niche, like cheerleaders adopt 'bitch' to fit in her niche - like jocks adopt stupid, Neanderthal thug to fit in his niche. The sterotypes based on a minority of a group are adopted by the majority of the group to make it clear that they are part of that group. And yes that does include the negatives as well as the positives.
Look at any high school and observe the social niches - most people in those niches dress/behave and adopt that niches' stereotypes in order to signal they are part of that niche. Its a vicious self feeding circle.
Lisping, limp wrists, snapping fingers, Fabulous - all are pretty much adopted by most gay men once they hit the scene. Gay mythos insists 'this is gay' and gay society adopts it, embraces it and uses it to identify as 'gay'.
Media has not helped, it paints the typical gay male as campy - it is a 'default character role' that makes it clear that the guy is gay. Its so universal and stand up comedian can hold his arm out and let his hand go limp and everyone knows its the universal sign of 'gay'.
The media is trying to break away from the campy gay male... This may be reflective that societies (both gay and straight) are rethinking what 'gay' looks like. One can hope.
Through the years certain expectations have just cropped up and sadly a lot of gay men buy into the 'facts' about what being gay is about. Not liking sports, having a sense of color, a sense of fashion, interior designers, hair stylists. The the more dangerous stuff like promiscuity and anal sex. Most gay men don't like anal - they do it because they feel its expected.
There have been more than a few in the closet gays who fear coming of the closet because they believe that in order to be out that they have to put away sports, hunting flannel and jeans and adopt all sorts of mannerisms in order to 'fit in' with their subgroup.
To make it worse, a lot of new guys to the scene put away their 'masculinity' in favor of a more effeminate nature because they desperately want to fit in. I have seen a few 'sports playing/manly dudes' turn over a new leaf to become campy queens.
If you play sports you are on the 'down-low'... A America Foot ball player just stepped out of the closet - reactions are varied, but everyone is thinking his playing sports was his way to 'hide' his gayness and most likely now that he is gay he won't play well. Thus his draft options has been greatly reduced.
Its worse if you are a bottom - the expected behaviors of a bottom is to be campy. If you are 'straight acting' you are assumed a top. Truth is there are effeminate (naturally effeminate) men who are total tops - they also get hit by this expectation of what 'gay' is and what your behaviors of character mean to your role in bed.
It doesn't help that society as a whole has painted homosexuals in a negative light. Such as the myth that gays can't like sports - Bull dykes excluded because, as we all know, lesbians are supposed to act like men (Much to the chagrin of the lipstick lesbians).
Effeminate males do happen, not all are gay (many are straight). And many 'manly' women happen as well, not all are lesbian (many are straight). They also get blindsided by the expectations of what 'gay' is by society - bother hetero and gay mythologies.
There are a lot of straight acting gay males out there. Most of us hide out in the more rural areas (where the lesbians live:tongue
and just steer clear of the scene due to the amount of dislike we get. So we who are 'masculine' help perpetuate the myths by just opting out of the gay culture letting the clubs be full of campy queens and over the top types.The more recent historical period of the Metro-sexual hasn't helped. Men are being forced to be more sensitive, more fashion concerned, more into skin care and crap like that. Gay but not gay.... Society is sick.
This guy most likely sees 'straight acting' behaviors in a gay guy as a gay guy overcompensating and 'hiding' his sexuality since he bought into the mythology that to be gay means to be campy/effeminate or obviously gay and to dislike 'straight man' activities... like hunting, sports, camping, working on car engines....
Considering the decades of programming society has foisted on us, its not really surprising that people believe certain myths.
Back in the 20th century it was far worse to be a straight acting gay man in the scene than what I hear about the scene today. So the old stereotype expectations may actually be going away.
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Aquarius
