05-22-2014, 03:46 PM
In order for you to understand why this is so upsetting to me, I need you to understand how I came to know the fact that I'm gay.
I went through a very turbulent questioning process. It was very upsetting to me. I felt like I didn't belong in any group and that was the worst part. My anxiety disorder was probably what really caused my questioning process to seriously damage my mental health.
So last night I had a dream that two women were romancing each other and stripping. I could kind of feel myself getting erect in my sleep and that is the worst part. Here's the thing, though- Guys get erect in their sleep regardless of what they're dreaming of.
I've never been able to get erect by looking at anything involving women. Lesbian porn doesn't do anything to me. But in this dream it did. Could the sensation of me getting erect have been part of the dream?
Honestly, this is an extremely sensitive topic to me and I know I shouldn't say this but the thought of me being bi makes me want to kill myself. I'm not biphobic. I just don't want to be sexually attracted to women and if I was I don't know how I would recover from it. I identify so strongly with being gay that I would have to completely reconstruct my identity and that could take years.
This topic came up in my dream because I have OCD that is focused on this topic.
To be fair, though, one of the most common dreams is being sexually aroused by a relative. But that doesn't mean that they are sexually attracted to them. This could be the same thing.
I went through a very turbulent questioning process. It was very upsetting to me. I felt like I didn't belong in any group and that was the worst part. My anxiety disorder was probably what really caused my questioning process to seriously damage my mental health.
So last night I had a dream that two women were romancing each other and stripping. I could kind of feel myself getting erect in my sleep and that is the worst part. Here's the thing, though- Guys get erect in their sleep regardless of what they're dreaming of.
I've never been able to get erect by looking at anything involving women. Lesbian porn doesn't do anything to me. But in this dream it did. Could the sensation of me getting erect have been part of the dream?
Honestly, this is an extremely sensitive topic to me and I know I shouldn't say this but the thought of me being bi makes me want to kill myself. I'm not biphobic. I just don't want to be sexually attracted to women and if I was I don't know how I would recover from it. I identify so strongly with being gay that I would have to completely reconstruct my identity and that could take years.
This topic came up in my dream because I have OCD that is focused on this topic.
To be fair, though, one of the most common dreams is being sexually aroused by a relative. But that doesn't mean that they are sexually attracted to them. This could be the same thing.