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Sexual Preference
#1
Not sure if this is the right place to post this. To anybody that may read this, have you ever met someone who was interested in you and maybe they were the nicest person in the world, but you just weren't attracted to them sexually?

I say this as a 25 year old Caucasian male, I hope I don't offend anyone that may read this but I'm not sexually attracted to Black men. I remember once there was 1 guy who I met who I nicely said I wasn't interested, and he called me a racist. In a situation like this is it really racism? I mean can you help what you're sexually attracted to?

I'm the type of person that tries to be everybody's friend. I talk to everybody,no matter what your skin color, gender, etc., and have always been this way ever since I was a kid. I do have a few Black friends. However, in terms of sexual attraction, I'm attracted to fellow Caucasian men. Does anybody else feel this way or have this situation happen to them?
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#2
Well, the answer is simply no; you don't get to choose who you're attracted to.
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#3
Look at it this way. I am a black dude (mix with Latino) and to be honest with you I am absolutely not sexually attracted to black men. My husband is a Caucassian male and although he's with me he's not attracted to other black male either. Physical attraction has nothing racist. I'm not attracted to Indian, Asians, but it doesn't mean that they're not beautiful people. I have seen amazingly good looking Indian and Asian males and yet, finding them beautiful is where it stops. So here's the question... I'm I racist or a bad person because I have no sexual attraction toward my own and the aforementioned nationalities? And I'm not attracted to all white males either.

The racist connotation is often the easy way out to vent one's rejection. I am a very strict and specific guy in my choice of dude... I don't like hairy, I don't like bear, I don't like chubby or fat, yet I don't like mega skinny fucks and I don't like excessive muscles and above all I'm not into teenagers or grandfathers... so you guess that this just there remove a lot of people from my pool of interest.

Nobody chooses whom they are attracted to. Sometimes I walk around my area and scanning the couples and yes, I do go and ask myself "WTF this skinny dude find attractive in that fat woman" or What this young man is doing with this older man. My standard aren't everybody's standards and just turn it around and yes, some people would also ask what's this short black dude (5'8'') is doing with this tall model like blond Australian dude (6'2''). And the answer to this is... They do their best and if I judge them, this automatically gives them the right to judge me and my husband as well. So no, you're not racist and you do not need to justify your choice by saying that you have black friends - you're in Baltimore for god' sake you're surrounded with black folks LOL.
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#4
It sounds like this was more a lack of chemistry than anything to do with racism. And you've probably have had the same experience with guys of your own race as well. For him to have said that sounds a bit manipulative - but he can't guilt someone into being attracted to him. I asked a black friend what he thought, and his take was that the guy needed to grow up and stop blaming everything that doesn't work out in his life on racism.
Life would be easier (at least mine would lol) if we could choose the people we want to be attracted to. Don't let this bother you - you're not in the wrong here.
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#5
Like Jake said, he could've said that to you out of anger for being rejected, and no, you can't choose who you are attracted to.

I will say that you should try to not let yourself get into the mindset of "i'm not attracted to black men", because it limits you.

I'm not saying you should force yourself go out with someone you're not attracted to, but just keep an open mind. One never knows what the future brings.
[Image: 51806835273_f5b3daba19_t.jpg]  <<< It's mine!
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#6
We all find different people attractive, it is just the way things are Smile
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#7
As a sociologist I believe it is my duty to provide a sociological definition of racism. So here how it goes.

Some sociologists have defined racism as a system of group privilege. It may be defined as "culturally sanctioned beliefs, which, regardless of intentions involved, defend the advantages one race has because of the subordinated position of racial minorities. A highly organized system of 'race'-based group privilege that operates at every level of society and is held together by a sophisticated ideology of color/'race' supremacy. Racist systems include, but cannot be reduced to, racial bigotry. The United States can be characterized as a "total racist society" because racism is used to organize every social institution (Feagin 2000, p. 16).

Today, as in the past, racial oppression is not just a surface-level feature of this society, but rather pervades, permeates, and interconnects all major social groups, networks, and institutions across the society. Feagin's definition stands in sharp contrast to psychological definitions that assume racism is an "attitude" or an irrational form of bigotry that exists apart from the organization of social structure.

Racism can refer to any or all of the following beliefs and behaviors:
  • race is the primary determinant of human capacities (prejudice or bias)
  • a certain race is inherently superior or inferior to others (prejudice or bias)
  • individuals should be treated differently according to their racial classification (prejudice or bias)
  • the actual treating of individuals differently based on their racial classification (discrimination)

Racism is recognised by many as an affront to basic human dignity and a violation of human rights. Any distinction, exclusion, restriction or preference based on race, colour, descent, or national or ethnic origin which has the purpose or effect of nullifying or impairing the recognition, enjoyment or exercise, on an equal footing, of human rights and fundamental freedoms in the political, economic, social, cultural or any other field of public life.

Racism may be expressed individually and consciously, through explicit thoughts, feelings, or acts, or socially and unconsciously, through institutions that promote inequalities among races.

Individual-level racism is prejudice, bias, or discrimination displayed in an interaction between two or more people. Examples of individual-level racism could include:
  • a person believing people of other races/ethnicities are intellectually inferior and that the inferiority is a characteristic of the race
  • a person holding the belief that all young African males are dangerous
  • an employer firing someone because of his/her race

Children develop an awareness of race and racial stereotypes quite young (between the ages of 5 and 11) and these racial stereotypes affect behavior. For instance, children who identify with a racial minority that is stereotyped as not doing well in school tend to not do well in school once they learn about the stereotype associated with their race. Another illustration of individual-level racism in society is the resistance of Americans to classify mixed-race individuals as white if they have even "one-drop" of black ancestry.

Structural racism refers to inequalities built into an organization or system. An example of structural racism can be seen in recent research on workplace discrimination. There is widespread discrimination against job applicants whose names were merely perceived as "sounding black." These applicants were 50% less likely than candidates perceived as having "white-sounding names" to receive callbacks for interviews, no matter their level of previous experience. The researchers view these results as strong evidence of unconscious biases rooted in the country's long history of discrimination. This is an example of structural racism as it shows a widespread established belief system that treats people differently based upon their race. Additional examples of structural racism include apartheid in South Africa, the system of Jim Crow laws in the U.S., and the inequitable lending practices of banks (i.e., redlining).

Cultural racial discrimination, a variation of structural racism, occurs when the assumption of inferiority of one or more races is built into the culture of a society. In this perspective, racism is an expression of culture and is also passed on through the transmission of culture (i.e., socialization). An interesting twist on this type of prejudice can be seen in how high achieving secondary school students are treated. African American and Native American students with high GPAs are rejected by their peers while Asian American and white students with high GPAs experience greater social acceptance. This suggests that different racial and ethnic groups are rewarded for academic achievement while others are punished, potentially leading to members of those groups to pursue academic success while others are discouraged from doing so.

I believe that it's enough for now. In all those descriptions and forms of racism... did you see anything reffering to sexual preferences as being a racist choice? NO so there's your answer.
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#8
[COLOR="Purple"]If atraction was based on a switch inside your head, you'd be called racist.

Other than that no, you're just a normal person living your usual daily life.[/COLOR]
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#9
HumbleTangerine Wrote:You don't get to choose who you're attracted to.
I agree with that...
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#10
I agree with everyone else. I'm a mix of Asian, Native American, and Caucasian. I'm mostly only romantically/sexually attracted to Native Americans and Asians. It is what it is. Go after what you like and enjoy. Smile
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