Summer blues...

[Bluelight]

You ever feel homesick, yet you're home? I'm suddenly very aware of the fact that I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm not even working right now, though thankfully I will be soon, but I literally have nothing going on... all my friends are home for the summer, so I won't see them for a while, and thinking about the future makes me depressed because it's so vague. The idea of living by myself and paying my own bills is just so weird, I want to learn how to do all that so I at least have a sense of security, like I want to know that I can take care of myself, but there's still so much to learn, it scares the hell out of me. Also, I keep catching myself dwelling on my regrets, mostly little things having to do with my social life, but it still doesn't do me any good. Every day has turned into a ridiculous first-world struggle to keep myself occupied, I'm just kind of existing. I don't know if I'm depressed, but I certainly feel down right now, maybe I just experiencing boredom on a really intense level? I don't know... I just needed to put that out there, every time I come home for the summer I just feel so isolated and weird.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

No sorry, I can't personally relate....

However.

I have heard many a share at AA/NA meetings where this sort of situation has lead to using/drinking to 'deal with' or 'run from' these sorts of emotions.

Those who attain a sense of recovery from their drug of choice often find that the underlying issue is depression.

Depression and Anxiety are two sides of the same coin, and whilst the media makes a case that one has to have all the symptoms, the reality is that mild depression or what I call 'low grade' depression can leave a person feeling restless, out of sorts and bored without having the saddness that people commonly think of when the word depression is thrown out there.

Situational 'shit' can lead to chronic depression. And usually it starts of with a long term uncomfortable situation such as what you are going through. Many cases start off with a few symptoms and as the person remains in a state of stress/anxiety/ 'unsettledness' their body just learns to be depressed all the time.

You need to list your life goals soonest. List them and then start finding solutions. This will break you out of some of the stressors here.

Mind, you are 20 and I guess living with the parents. This is pretty common now days so its not 'abnormal' or 'unhealthy' - it is what it is.

I take it you are doing higher education. Just getting a parttime job to go along with that credit/unit carrying may actually help you feel like you are more productive and have more control of your life.

Check at your school, they may have counselors/therapy through the school for students. If so a few session working with a professional may actually help you figure out what really is going on inside.

[Mark]

You are 20 these feelings are normal. I'm 25 and still get feelings like this... I recently got a better position in work meaning I can now consider getting my own place that scares the crap out of me its such a big step! I see my friends and half are married, or engaged planning their wedding, or even having kids and I'm here just working.. I feel left behind in some ways or even like I'm alone because I have nobody to relate to.. If I want to do something most have to approve with their partners - or plan around the kids god it bugs me.

Maybe going home in the summer feels like you are stepping back into another life? Taking care of yourself is a big step but something that will come natural so don't worry about that. As for the regrets.. I'd be shocked if one person can honestly say they have no regrets - however try not to live in the past you made the decision for the best reasons at the time and now you have to go forward.

If you feel bored or alone use this site more, talk to people - PM people and build up some online friendships I know it seems trivial but just simple things like that can make a difference! Don't freak out the future is exciting not something to be afraid of!

[Wolfpack]

Like Marky has stated use this site if you want to to meet and make friends with people, at least then you will feel a little less isolated.

[Bluelight]

I have heard many a share at AA/NA meetings where this sort of situation has lead to using/drinking to 'deal with' or 'run from' these sorts of emotions.

Those who attain a sense of recovery from their drug of choice often find that the underlying issue is depression.

It's for this that I stopped drinking for the time being. I'm not an alcoholic mind you, I don't drink nearly enough nor have I been drinking long enough to develop a dependence, but I realized that drinking does nothing for me but give me a false sense of bliss. I hate that so much...