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How to get in touch with my 'other' me
#1
Hey guys! I'm glad to join this community, it seems very nice.
I am bi but have only been in heterosexual relationships. However, I've always been interested in trying something of my own kind, you know? People only think I'm straight, I am very masculine so you could never tell.
Anyway, I will be traveling to Amsterdam by myself next week and so it seems like the perfect opportunity to get in touch with my 'other' side. I wouldn't just like to do something gay; I want to look the part. Maybe it sounds stupid but I thought it would be fun to wear different kinds of clothes or act less masculine. And before you say it, don't worry, it's not about changing who I am, it's more like letting out a part of me that I never let out in public, it's not pretending.
What do you think about this? Does it make any sense? Am I not seeing things properly here? Any wise words are appreciated!
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#2
Do not act. Be yourself. There is no gay "style." We run the gamut from very feminine to very masculine, from very flamboyant to very plain.
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#3
The clothes you wear and even the way you act does not determine your sexuality, just be yourself, and do what feels right for you.
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#4
I have to echo...just be yourself. That is the ticket for pretty much everything...enjoy your trip!
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#5
First of all, be careful. The scene in Amsterdam isn't always what it seems. Stick to the more reputable gay clubs like Amsto 54 or Café Mandjo. And if you're wandering around the "red light" district, DO NOT bring a camera. You'll see "No Photographs" signs everywhere, and some of the more aggressive locals take exception to tourists even carrying cameras.
I'm not sure what you mean about wearing different clothes and acting differently. Do you mean like going out in drag? There are a lot of clubs that are specifically for drag, but it's not always wise to do it in a mainstream gay club there. Or did you just mean being a little camp? I would ordinarily agree to what everyone is saying, be yourself - but the gay tourist scene there is pure fantasy, so a little experimentation isn't so bad.
Have a great trip and have fun!
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#6
Listen to yourself and decide how you want to look like and how to behave. There are no rules. So all is up to you. Have fun and stay safe. And don't forget to tell us an interesting story when you get back...
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#7
Though others have seen certainly qualities in me over the years that had them scratching their heads wondering if I'm gay or straight, it was never anything I was willing to admit or accept. As I allowed myself to finally recognize that I'm not straight, I've seemed to have unlocked this hidden side of me. I'm not flamboyant nor am I excessively feminine, but I have noticed some subtle changes. To be honest, I love these changes. I feel free and no longer oppressed and am able to appreciate who I am (though it is an ongoing journey for me).

I say all this to encourage you to just allow yourself to express the real you, unhindered. Enjoy the person you are regardless of where are fall on the gay/straight spectrum. Be true to yourself.

Good luck; and like ddd said, be sure to give us a great story when you return from your trip!
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#8
Thanks to everyone for the big response! I agree with the main idea: be myself, don't try to pretend to be something that I'm not. I hate doing that; but I think trying something different than what you're used to can be beneficial, maybe a very genuine part of you that you didn't know existed or didn't know how to express will emerge. So that's the main idea behind my reasoning.

Anyway, you never know until you try. I will tell you if anything interesting happens. Thanks again!
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#9
Uh, I dunno about this.

It sounds like you are planning to go somewhere unfamiliar, do something strange and get mugged.
I bid NO Trump!
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#10
I get the feeling you have this idea if you 'gay it up', which you seem to take as acting less masculine, it will make it easier for you to get lucky. I don't know if you have ever looked at gay dating sites or apps, but if you have, you will see that there is a lot of anti-femme vibe in the gay world. It's wrong and it's not fair, but unfortunately it's the way it is. More than you ever see 'No (fill in race)," "No old guys," or "No fats," you will see "No fems." At gay clubs, you will often see feminine guys ignored. I wish gay men in their attractions were not so hung up on this, but they really seem to be. If you are thinking acting a little more feminine is going to help you succeed in hooking up, I think you might be in for a surprise. Again, just be yourself.
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