Trying to not let my anger and hatred and vengefulness get the better of me. There are some shitty people who I would be perfectly happy to see suffer and feel utter misery and despair for the terrible things they've done, yet the particular people I care about that were hurt by them are the very ones being an example of how not to be consumed with hatred and bitterness.
I just feel powerless and weak-willed and full of shit and dumb and should shut the fuck up
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I worked at a huge art event last week. I did my thing in one of the rooms while other things happened all through the night. I was just a small adjunct to the big event, but the museum folks said I did a great job, and were very happy with how it all worked out.
The next day, I was asked by an online publication if I would write a blog about working the event. So I wrote a longish piece about the event, what I did, and how it all fit together. The person wrote back saying they loved the piece. "That's exactly what I was hoping for!" Then he asked if I could send a picture of me with the main artist to run with the piece I had written. I wrote back and said "Actually, I don't have a picture with the artist. In fact, I hardly saw the artist at all." He wrote back and said the piece wasn't worth running without a photo, so that's that, I guess. I wish he'd told me that before so I could've skipped writing this long thing.
Lex
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Wondering if I'll be like this the rest of my life: not enough energy to care about anything so just taking the easy way out. Never feeling fulfilled, just settling with the path of least resistance.
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Week's halfway done! Woo!
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