CASH Wrote:So there I am sitting on the veranda taking pot shots at the neighbor's kids when the phone rings.
It's YOURNAME.
He says He's down at the mall (I know, how unusual, right?) and He is being unfairly persecuted for His religious beliefs and can I come on over with a camera crew and PLEASE do something about it???
So I ask just how MUCH Nyquil has He had and has He been sniffing the hairspray again.
He SWEARS He is sober (I know, for ONCE, right???) and just needs a glamorous friend to help Him get His Q-Score up high enough for the Networks to pay attention.
So I down a few bottles of wine and head over.
Turns out some mall cop told Him to stop running thru Holt Renfrew in a hood screaming Pagan epithets.
I pointed out that they would have probably looked the other way had He worn more than just socks and a belt.
The camera crew just had pizza and went home.
Well first off, I can't remember the context, but I'm sure I said "slobber", not "sober" --I can't even remember the last time I said I was sober. :eek:
And I take my religion very seriously. As you know, I'm committed to restarting the Roman alters on Mount Sapo, where soap was first created (and yes, the irony is not lost on me, since that's not a product I ever use). The guards were trying to stop me from slaughtering my lamb on a pyre beside the mall's Creche --ignoring my right to equal religious protection! I wouldn't even have been in their Nativity scene except the little bugger kept eating the hay in baby Jesus' manger --totally understandable, probably the same thing happened the first time around.
So I understand why all the children were upset...I'm a commanding figure at the best of times. Wrapped in a toga, screaming latin, brandishing a knife and lunging at what I'm sure they thought was the "lamb of Christ", it was probably all too much for them. And you're right, taking off the toga didn't help matters at all. Next time I'll wait until the church choir is done seeing Beethoven's 9th....Orff's "O Fortuna!" would be more appropriate anyway.
It was a terrible day. And that acid you gave me to "perk me up" just make me jittery on all that NyQuil. Thank Zeus all the staff in Hold Renfrew knew you from stalking the underwear aisle or I never would have gotten out of there.
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Well with me being Bi, I only see men on here? Maybe I am looking in the wrong sections??
Libra
