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What's on Your Mind
thinking I'll be on holiday with friends soon.
[Image: 51806835273_f5b3daba19_t.jpg]  <<< It's mine!
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CellarDweller Wrote:thinking I'll be on holiday with friends soon.

coool have fun Smile
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Yup, going to Berlin, the first time I've been to Germany.
[Image: 51806835273_f5b3daba19_t.jpg]  <<< It's mine!
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Haven't visited this thread in a while…

Sometimes I don't know what is on my mind. Sometimes there isn't anything much, really. The sun is up over the hill now and the fog is (much more slowly than usual) burning off. It's continued presence even at this late hour gives the air a kind of golden, almost mystical glow. It's Sunday morning day after Solstice and still fairly quiet. The college kids all around me were partying last night--whether due to the Solstice or just because it was a Saturday or both, I don't know. It wasn't a bother. I fall asleep easily; sometimes with my lap top on a pillow on my lap in the bed! :eek: I mean, how sad is that! And falling asleep is very strange, have you ever noticed? How one second you're doing something, reading, watching a movie, and somehow something sets of a very rapid chain reaction that sort of separates the various brain functions that keeps one cognizant. Think about it, it's very odd! One moment we're (more or less) aware of being 'here now' doing this or that and the next "we" (whatever 'we' are) are just 'gone'. BUT, the sensory stimulation is still occurring, the brain is still active but now in a completely different way… dreaming perhaps, some part of the mind off on some journey or tangent. At the point where I come back (it can be seconds or hours) I'm a bit shocked to discover that I drifted; much as you probably are if you're reading this shaggy dog post Wink It's just something I find very interesting, trying to 'detect' that moment when the 'disconnect' happens. I've followed it far enough that I know it is quite mechanical and apparently chemical. For example, yesterday at work I was searching for a file on my bosses computer… one we know must exist but we have no idea where we saved it or what it was named… a PhotoShop image file that would be quite obvious if we were to see it. So I'm searching all PhotoShop files on her computer by rapidly scanning through the 1000s of files in cover-flow view. I'm holding my finger down on the 'down arrow' key to rapidly scroll through them and *repeatedly* I fall asleep with my finger still pressing the key and *miss* several before coming back to myself, realizing what I've done! Annoyed with myself, I scroll back to make sure I didn't miss it and insist that I *not* fall asleep again. But, again, within a matter of seconds, I'm *gone*! How very weird, and yet interesting (to me anyway, obviously) this is. It is something I've been trying to observe in myself (not all the time but from time to time) since I was a child: That moment where you're awake and then instantly you're not. So, I haven't anything on my mind at all except all the peculiarities that make up my awareness of a moment, such as this, just sitting here on my balcony, drinking my habitual morning coffee, allowing my fingers to type out whatever thought passes through me, inflicting my stream of thought on all you poor souls. :evil grin: Really nothing at all, tl;dr & etc.
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^^^LOL...I think about that very same thing often...I love to try to catch the moment the moment the disconnect happens
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I have severe sleep apnea and so I don't go into deep beta sleep at night. Therefore, I tend to fall asleep during the day without even realizing it. My body is still going through the motions and I "wake up" maybe a few seconds later not knowing what I was just doing. Like a black out. These are called "micro-sleeps". It's interesting that I can be so unaware of falling asleep. It's like my thoughts turn inward and I'm just less aware of my surroundings, even though my hands might be typing or I might be talking to a friend.
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Mike, I liked your account. It happens to me often, when doing precisely that sort of sorting that one needs to do on one's computer... You fall asleep and you wake up to find you've printed the same key far too often (in a spread sheet it's weird) oopppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps!!

... now where was I? Ah, yes, I was going to get some ice cream! Confusedmiley-eating-icecr
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Uneunsae Wrote:I have severe sleep apnea and so I don't go into deep beta sleep at night. Therefore, I tend to fall asleep during the day without even realizing it. My body is still going through the motions and I "wake up" maybe a few seconds later not knowing what I was just doing. Like a black out. These are called "micro-sleeps". It's interesting that I can be so unaware of falling asleep. It's like my thoughts turn inward and I'm just less aware of my surroundings, even though my hands might be typing or I might be talking to a friend.

Well, how do you think sleepwalking occurs, then? It's precisly because our bodies have automation, of sorts. The same with talking in one's sleep.
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Uneunsae Wrote:I have severe sleep apnea and so I don't go into deep beta sleep at night. Therefore, I tend to fall asleep during the day without even realizing it. My body is still going through the motions and I "wake up" maybe a few seconds later not knowing what I was just doing. Like a black out. These are called "micro-sleeps". It's interesting that I can be so unaware of falling asleep. It's like my thoughts turn inward and I'm just less aware of my surroundings, even though my hands might be typing or I might be talking to a friend.
I'm not quite sure I understand what apnea really is. Can you explain that?

The one thing I would recommend you try (takes discipline and time) is to practice at least a half hour of meditation when you wake up and again before you go to bed at night. The specific *kind* of meditation involves sitting with spine erect with most of your other body parts relaxed and your attention open to experiencing as much of whatever is going on (thoughts, feelings, sensations) as you can (as opposed to narrow focus of attention on 'one or another' sensation or 'inner experience'). It's the process of allowing and opening to more and more. And, it is totally ok if you completely fall asleep during this process. When you come back, just continue until the time is up.

Oh, and ETA: Throughout the day pay attention to physical sensation. Example: in the midst of doing whatever you're doing, concentrate on the sensations of your left hand for five seconds. Then forget about it. Later, do the same thing but with your left foot. If you try this for some time, concentrating on various 'parts' of your body, see if at some point you can get a 'whole' sensation of the body, even if only for a few seconds.
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Sleep apnea occurs when the airway is blocked and one is suffocating. The brain tells the body, "Hey, I'm suffocating!" and wakes it up. I have an underdeveloped jaw which completely shuts off my airway when I lie down. This is not the usual case of being overweight. I am actually very skinny. It's just my jaw and tongue completely close up my throat. My sleep studies revealed that I am waking up every TWO minutes; that is 240 times during an 8 hour period of "sleep". So basically I don't sleep at all. I am unable to work or do very mundane things because of my condition. I've had a couple of car accidents because I'm so sleepy all the time. Luckily, my doctor did not take away my license, but I basically only drive when I have to.

I'm having surgery in a year to correct this and be normal (having surgery is a major issue and lots of things are required beforehand, like braces). The success rate for this type of surgery is over 90%. It will completely cure me.

This is something purely physiological and, while I appreciate the thought, meditation cannot help. Smile
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