What's on Your Mind

[johnny196775]

my new years resolution is to continue to NOT smash kittens.

[InbetweenDreams]

Im trying to remain positive regards to a new happening with me and avoid and ignore the negative crap popping up like wack a mole in my head but at the same time just because im in a good situation does not mean BPD just goes away. I need to go away and spend time on my self and my new things to hopefully make them stronger for the purpose of my self. Best wishes

Just thinking positively changes your brain chemistry and actually is changing your brain...pretty interesting about neruoplasticity (hope I spelled that right lol)

[Insertnamehere]

2015 looked not promising, but a nice preparation of what looked promising. Then came the last 4 months and it turned rather quickly into one of the worst years I can remember. It's happened finally, a year that resembles High School days. Didn't think that was possible.

I tried to make things work and they simply didn't. Quite the contrary every important thing, outside of work (ha! and even is showing signs of trouble now), that I tried and was trying for a while to build came crashing down on me, detonation included.

Plenty of situations were helpless and I didn't know, because I was withheld of information. The excuse for that was "politeness". To make the shock of things less. Funny how that works, because it made it exponentially worse. But "It doesn't matter now"

Well it matters to me. Considering the state I'm in these last weeks, CLEARLY it matters to me.

I haven't been up to the challenge to remain unaffected. I haven't been up to the challenge of keeping my shit together while everything started unfolding. Every effort I've made over the years to be a stable person went down the drain in a matter of days. My bad.

OK. Let it be this way. Let things collapse as they must and I will try and recover afterwards and begin anew.

But life is "lol, no"

Every time I've tried to pick up the pieces, something else happens and down I come crashing again. Back up, back up, and there we go, some new detail about an already bad situation comes to light. Back down I go.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do here. The "positive thinking elites" will go rambling some delusional nonsense that I'm not inclined to buy. And then they will probably nag for not buying it. No that's not the way to go. I'm way too bitter right now to think rainbows and sunshine.

Yes, the logical thing is to recover.....again.

This demands energy I don't have at the moment.

For now all I can think of is just sitting here, doing nothing and waiting for the next hit to come my way.

I can't have another year like last one. And I need to forget 2015 ever happened.

[johnny196775]

i am curious what partying is. Can it be done without drugs or alcohol?

Is it dancing? Is it being with a group of people you enjoy the company of?

[East]

2015 looked not promising, but a nice preparation of what looked promising. Then came the last 4 months and it turned rather quickly into one of the worst years I can remember. It's happened finally, a year that resembles High School days. Didn't think that was possible.

I tried to make things work and they simply didn't. Quite the contrary every important thing, outside of work (ha! and even is showing signs of trouble now), that I tried and was trying for a while to build came crashing down on me, detonation included.

Plenty of situations were helpless and I didn't know, because I was withheld of information. The excuse for that was "politeness". To make the shock of things less. Funny how that works, because it made it exponentially worse. But "It doesn't matter now"

Well it matters to me. Considering the state I'm in these last weeks, CLEARLY it matters to me.

I haven't been up to the challenge to remain unaffected. I haven't been up to the challenge of keeping my shit together while everything started unfolding. Every effort I've made over the years to be a stable person went down the drain in a matter of days. My bad.

OK. Let it be this way. Let things collapse as they must and I will try and recover afterwards and begin anew.

But life is "lol, no"

Every time I've tried to pick up the pieces, something else happens and down I come crashing again. Back up, back up, and there we go, some new detail about an already bad situation comes to light. Back down I go.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do here. The "positive thinking elites" will go rambling some delusional nonsense that I'm not inclined to buy. And then they will probably nag for not buying it. No that's not the way to go. I'm way too bitter right now to think rainbows and sunshine.

Yes, the logical thing is to recover.....again.

This demands energy I don't have at the moment.

For now all I can think of is just sitting here, doing nothing and waiting for the next hit to come my way.

I can't have another year like last one. And I need to forget 2015 ever happened.

I am sorry that it sucked so bad......I have had a couple of those years in the past...

There is a silver lining though (sorry....gotta do it).....it can give you a better appreciation when things are going right..or well.....

I don't know what the situations are but is there anyway you can go ninja on anything? I learned that sometimes just turning around and embracing all the chaos and even inducing any more walls that are going to fall to do so sooner than later will get you done with all it is alot quicker...depends on what the circumstances are though...

Good Luck ((()))

[Cridders88]

I can't have another year like last one. And I need to forget 2015 ever happened.

Big hugs to you Suds . I'm sorry to hear people haven't been honest with you. I hate that. Always here if you want to talk dude

[Jay]

I had a miserable 2014 but 2015 turns out to be amazing year. So I do hope great things continue to happen in 2016.

In 2015, I got a new stable job, I did a marathon, got myself a driving license (Manual and Auto) and I was featured in a magazine.

For 2016, I hope I can purchase my first car in another month or two. I hope I can either expand my career or return back to study (Part time) as I would like to improve my income as well as future. By this age, I'm ready to make a huge change in my life.

A relationship in 2016? I don't like to put high expectation. I'm independent but if a guy says hello and able to melt me, I will return the hello. In the meantime, I'm just going to focus on my health, career and future.

[InbetweenDreams]

Looks like I will be getting my first swim lesson tonight... Going to go through with it and see about this triathlon stuff...

Sooo...a bit nervous about that...

[CellarDweller]

Good luck with that!

I may have to start shopping for a new computer, guy at the fix-it shop says I may have 'motherboard' issues.

[InbetweenDreams]

Motherboard issues..

What issues are you actually having?