What's on Your Mind

[starlight]

Been awake a hour now at 10.30am, didnt get sleep till maybe 3am after, sleep was broken even then. Got be in work in 2hrs and im in till 10pm.

[starlight]

Well keep your chin up, Nick, alias [MENTION=22564]VirgoMasquerade[/MENTION], and talk to us. We can listen until the cows come home. As long as [MENTION=21156]Anocxu[/MENTION] and I are around you are even likely to get a wiseass reply.

Same for you [MENTION=23118]starlight[/MENTION]. Tell us all about it.

Its pointless me talking about it as nothing changes, i try and fail every time, i try again and fail again. Im getting really fed up and i hate my sexuality i really hate it, i hate people and no accepting wont make me any happier, i am very repressed in all ways and cannot break through, i am a total waste of oxygen and waste of space i am pointless. Im 26 now and my life is as empty as it as always been, i have no close interactions, and the fact i have never been truly close with anyone hurts me so much, i mean the thought of another human holding or touching me is a total fantasy and who the fuck would touch me and i fear it due to the same reason. Im a total mess and cant be fixed, who cares anyway its just pointless, i hate life and im not enjoying it at all and nothing will even get close to opening me up and helping or healing me. I saw a teacher from college 10 years ago last night and she knew then i had issues and a year or so ago i saw her and told her and when i saw her last night she said it will happen it will and i dont believe it because it wont, i will never get that bf/gf i desire because of my shitty messed up sexuality and my shitty messed up head, people avoid me even when they have only seen my good mood, i am an embarresment and people have always told me that, its true about bpd you need validation because you have never had it in life and its always been taken from you but nothing will help now its all fucked up. I am so lonely and tired of life

[Sylph]

Washed some clothes today! Got my mind a lil de-stress <3

Nuh look up my ding nah, kay? :p

[Insertnamehere]

It's just not possible that I have to attend yet another wedding.

[CellarDweller]

I can sleep in tomorrow as long as I want.

[LJay]

You fellows just keep at it. You did not have a job when you got the last one, right? It can be done.

Look in unusual places. I know of a woman who is looking to hire someone who can type well and will buck out her horses stalls and makre sure they are cared for.

While you are at it. Get out there and interview a number of employers. Turn the tables. No reason to have hem interviewing you all the time. Put yourself in charge and check them out.

Jeezy creeps, folks! Sorry for the typing. It's a bit better now, but my eyes were really messed up earlier today.

I meant to say" muck out the horses' stalls and make sure" and "to have them
interviewing you."

Farking pills!

[LJay]

I can sleep in tomorrow as long as I want.

CD, I stand in awe of your preoccupations with getting away from work and enjoying a good sleep. We could get along well!!

[LJay]

It's just not possible that I have to attend yet another wedding.

It's Ok Insert. It is your age. In a couple of years it will pass.

In the meantime, give them a decent set of towels and drink to your heart's content at the reception while you try to pick up some strange [guy.]

[CellarDweller]

CD, I stand in awe of your preoccupations with getting away from work and enjoying a good sleep. We could get along well!!

As Rita Rudner says, "sleep is a great thing! You get to be alive, but unconscious!"

[Insertnamehere]

I feel so fucking lonely and everyone else is too busy to talk :/ Even then i still feel alone

This amuses me in a messed up kinda way. You'll get used to it, kid. There will always be moments like this and then others very much the opposite. Chin up, my love.

At the moment my opinion of gay/bi men is at a all time low!

What have I done to you? Don't throw us all in the same sack.