What's on Your Mind

[Bookworm]

The wee dinosaur has returned! Welcome back @Rawr  nice to see you again 

[Chase]

the screaming voices in my head just won't shut up

[Rawr]

Everything ok Chase?

[ceez]

I think I'm going to end up as one of those jaded gay men, online dating sucks. I've had long conversations with 5 guys now that really seemed to be going somewhere and they all just stopped messages me back

[InbetweenDreams]

@ceez That has happened to me many times... It sucks, it does suck. Guys can be really flaky. In my experience it also seems to be a problem on certain platforms more than others. If it's not been too long they might be busy but if it's been like a week they're probably a flake. All I can say is that you will find one who won't vanish on you.

[Jay]

I think I'm going to end up as one of those jaded gay men, online dating sucks. I've had long conversations with 5 guys now that really seemed to be going somewhere and they all just stopped messages me back

Holy crap, I haven't seen you for ages. Nice seeing you again, @ceez

Ghosting sucks. I've had a few too. So don't feel bad. There's nothing wrong with you. You'll eventually meet Mr. Right.

Speaking of ghosting - While I've been ghosted a few times, I did it once to someone else too. This fitness model who happens to be a violin player for national orchestra. He is your classic fitness pinup boy - pecs, six abs etc featured in fitness magazines. He approached me and we had a good start. Since he's into fitness, I decided to share my obese story and showed him my old super obese photos. He laughed at them. I was embarrassed. He eventually said sorry for laughing but his attitude didn't sit right with me so I ignored him after that.

[InbetweenDreams]

@Jay Yeah I think you were right to break it off with that guy. I think it has a lot to do with how ghosting happens...and there was a thread about it a while back (and there were a lot of opinions). To me there is a difference between dropping off the face of the Earth when things appear to be going well versus breaking it off with someone because they're an insensitive prick.

[Jay]

@Jay Yeah I think you were right to break it off with that guy. I think it has a lot to do with how ghosting happens...and there was a thread about it a while back (and there were a lot of opinions). To me there is a difference between dropping off the face of the Earth when things appear to be going well versus breaking it off with someone because they're an insensitive prick.

@InbetweenDreams I'm going to dig around and look for that thread.

I've just remembered I had another one. I met this guy via Coffee and Bagel online app.

Had a chat with him online. Seems really nice. We agreed to meet up for lunch. I told him it would be my treat. While waiting for that lunch 'date' to arrive, we continued out chat online. I told him that I love to bake and just disposed my old oven. He then asked if I can hand over the old oven to him instead of disposing it. He also asked if I can give him anything else that I'm planning to dispose. The guy just got back from UK. He's a professor and just rented an apartment.

Honestly, I didn't know how to react. I don't think it would be a big deal if I know him for years. But he was a stranger that I've never met before. His request didn't sit right with me. I simply told him the garbage collector has collected my oven.

We met at this shopping mall. I wore a nice blue shirt with jeans and sneakers. He came with a t-shirt, a short and flipper (beach flip flop). He introduced himself. He asked what was wrong with my left leg. I explained to him (My left leg is slightly curvy due to an injury and obesity). I was fine with him asking. He asked politely.

I asked him where he would like to eat. I don't mind any restaurant in the mall. My treat. He said, "Why don't we eat outside? There's a small food stall outside."

I said o.k.

We walked to this food stall selling Indian food located 100m+ away from the mall. A little hidden. I reminded him again that it would be my treat so eat up. But he just took a small tiny amount of food. I was confused. My plate was full with chicken curry, rice etc.

Nonetheless the lunch went well. He was easy-going. So was I. We talked a lot throughout the lunch. 

After a while he said, "J, I don't mean to rush you but I made a promise to meet a friend for dinner at the mall so can we finish up..." Yes, the same mall we met up. I said okay.

We had a good talk while heading back to the mall. He accompanied me to the underground train station located in the mall. 

He sent a text the next day about having a good lunch. I did too. Then the dating app sent me a message, "Your chat with xxx is about to expire. Would you like to extend the chat?"

I did not. 

I probably should have told him that it's not working between the two of us but yeah. I ghosted him.

I hate to say the word. Stingy.

I don't think I can be with someone like that. I'm not expecting for someone to splurge money etc. because I have my own income but don't be too calculative? And also, he didn't have issue having dinner with his friend at the same mall. So yeah.

[InbetweenDreams]

It is entirely possible that he might have not been all too hungry. But, I agree that might have thrown me off. People can be a bit strange at times. He also could have been going on another date for all you know as well, but who knows. Things that are strange like that don't sit well with me either and I don't know about you but if I get a bad vibe, a bad feeling in my stomach about someone, there's almost always a reason.

[Jay]

Yeah. Could be on another date, which would be fine with me because it was our first meet up. But pretty weird that he took me to eat at a small stall outside the mall but went for dinner possibly with another date in a restaurant inside the mall. 

I get you. I didn't feel right with him after he started asking for my oven and stuff but I've agreed to meet him. Promise is a promise. Something like that. At the same time, I thought of giving him a chance by meeting face to face. 

But anyways, didn't work out.