Met an indecent guy who I could connect with.. FWB possibility?

[AlfredM]

TLDR version: I had a great time talking with someone I met online,but he sent me an indecent video,now I feel like he wants to have a friends-with-benefits kind of friendship,which I'm open to.

So I met someone on a dating app last Thursday. We talked a bit there,it was okay,he said he wanted to be friends,with a weird emoticon at the end indicating more? lol. So the next day,I just gave him my number cause I was thinking of going offline on all dating apps due to final exam coming soon.

I didn't actually put much hope as in everybody else that I talk on dating app,but last Monday he finally contacted me. We had a very good chat, until at some point, we kind of coming on to each other,LOL. I was horny that night,so I didn't mind,haha. :tongue: As things got heated up,suddenly he sent me a video of him cumming! :O

Now,I'm a big fan of decent men,but of course indecency is also hot in my opinion,especially when it comes from someone I'm into. Last time I got a dick picture from someone else I was not so into,more like we didn't have any 'coming on to each other' talk like this time,he just asked to exchange pictures with me which I innocently thought he meant face pictures! The moment he sent me a dick picture,I totally blocked him from every possible way of contacting. But for some reason,this time,I didn't block this guy. I actually enjoyed his video,hahaha! :redface:

Then I questioned his motive for looking for 'friend',and he said,"Well then,I am your friend. We have not done any bad thing except those naughty thoughts and silly vids. Apart from that,friendship comes in many ways. Friendship is...for me...is like a bridge...build on trust and strengthen by years".

Well,move on,we talked a bit more and got into our taste in music and a bit of anime,this time I felt a different connection. Like it was so long since the last time I had this kind of conversation with a total stranger. It's been a while since I felt that connection. The kind that I want to keep.

If it hadn't been for that silly video clip,I would totally try to get a date with him. But he did mention he's looking for friendship,I'm not sure if he's the kind that's looking for friendship and see if it would develop into something more? Also,I have a feeling like the friendship he's looking for is friends-with-benefits type? What do you guys think? Should I ask for it,or let him brings up the topic?

I have considered FWB before and made some readings on that. The reason I'm considering FWB is because I'm horny almost all the time but I don't like hooking up cause it feels like I'm cheap and being used (no offense,it's just me) yet I can't look for a relationship cause I want to relocate to study abroad (and migrate as well) by earliest next February. Also I thought it'll be a good experience too,I'll know better in the future if FWB is not for me.

[AlohaShannon]

I think the message sent from a video of him cumming speaks a lot louder than him saying he is only looking for friendship. Though he may have initially sought out only friends, he obviously sees you as more than just platonically. Ask him about it; tell him what you think about the situation. What have you got to lose?

[Wolfpack]

I would be careful about your feelings, I think he really only wants one thing from you, if you are okay with FWB then go for it, but make sure you are really certain it is what you want. Do not let your feelings take you down a road that is not right for you.

[AlfredM]

I think the message sent from a video of him cumming speaks a lot louder than him saying he is only looking for friendship. Though he may have initially sought out only friends, he obviously sees you as more than just platonically. Ask him about it; tell him what you think about the situation. What have you got to lose?

I thought so too! Nothing much to lose I guess,except for a possible great friendship? Hmm. =/

I would be careful about your feelings, I think he really only wants one thing from you, if you are okay with FWB then go for it, but make sure you are really certain it is what you want. Do not let your feelings take you down a road that is not right for you.

Thank you. If it's FWB that he wants,I'm up for it,but if it's a hook up,I'm not. And I'm sure I want to try FWB at least once for the sake of experiencing it,as I have always been curious about this arrangement,so it is what I want. I won't do anything that I don't want.

I guess that raised another question,how do I know if he just wants a hook up instead of FWB?

[Mark]

I don't find that video such a biggie if I'm honest. Everyone does crazy things when horny and you kinda lose control over yourself for some weird reason and say things or in this case send pictures you shouldn't of! I don't find it any worse than porn. You just feel horny and send a guy a picture or video or discuss sex and that's it. There's no physical contact I would question the emotion involved especially if you've only just started chatting. You liked the video so that's a bonus haha.

I wouldn't personally be put off going for a date but I'd be wise if he is sending pictures he may be to others as you didn't really have a relationship to begin with. If you don't mind that then go for it! I don't think it's an issue but I know I think differently from most regarding this issue haha

[Mark]

Oh and the only way to know what he's after? Just ask :p

[AlfredM]

I don't find that video such a biggie if I'm honest. Everyone does crazy things when horny and you kinda lose control over yourself for some weird reason.......You liked the video so that's a bonus haha.

To me,it kinda was,haha. I never had people do such thing to me before,considering he wanted to be friend.

I wouldn't personally be put off going for a date but I'd be wise if he is sending pictures he may be to others as you didn't really have a relationship to begin with. If you don't mind that then go for it! I don't think it's an issue but I know I think differently from most regarding this issue haha

I've actually thought of that,and I have come to a conclusion that,for any future date,what's in the past is in the past. As long as when we actually have a relationship and he stop sending nude pictures/videos, that's good enough. But I don't think I'm gonna ask him out on a date even if he didn't send that video,I want to take things slowly. Plus I'd rather be asked out since he's older than me. :biggrin:

Oh and the only way to know what he's after? Just ask

There's always that,and if he lies about it,I suppose I'm only gonna find out the hard way,sigh. :confused:

[Mark]

We can't go anywhere further unless we take risks I guess. Just enjoy the ride while it lasts :p I guess in my teens I've been more of a picture whore haha

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I would call you a whore however you don't seem to be charging these guys.



You're 23, young, dumb and full of cum - so yeah you are going to want to have sex - lots of sex.

However. I want to remind you of a few pretty words that may dump a wee bit of cold water on your raging hormones.

Chlamydia
Gonorrhea
Syphilis
Human Immunodeficiency Virus

I don't know about Malaysia, however in the USA there is a serious epidemic of the old timey STD's (http://www.cdc.gov/msmhealth/STD.htm).

So its not just HIV/AIDS you need worry about.

On top if this Mom Nature is getting her panties in a twist and is coming out with super STDS:

"However, drug-resistant strains of gonorrhea are increasing in many areas of the world, including the United States, and successful treatment of gonorrhea is becoming more difficult."

Source: http://www.cdc.gov/msmhealth/STD.htm

Now I'm not saying all of this to put you off of sex totally and completely, I'm telling you this because you stand at the threshold of promiscuity and that opens the doors to many risks - and not just STDS.

There are other risks, physical ones like meeting a potential Jack the Ripper type Character where you end up in a situation like being at the bottom of the well being told to put lotions on the skin. Or worse - dead.

This risk is greater in places where homosexuality is not tolerated. Victimizing a young gay guy gets easier and there is a sort of social acceptance of 'punishing' the gay mentality going on that leads to predators being a bit more predatory in their behaviors.

There are also emotional risks, such as falling in love with a guy who just cannot reciprocate - unrequited love is terrible sort of thing that I have watched bring down too many guys.

Again, I do not remind you of all of these potential horrors because I'm a pessimist, I remind you because you are young and may be thinking with the wrong head.

I would hate to learn you got hurt in this process, by any route, medically, physically or emotionally.

Holding out for love is not a bad thing, there is extra bonuses such as its safer medically, physically and emotionally. Yes there is still risks involved in relationships. But less risks than meeting strangers, even 'FWB' situations.

[AlfredM]

I would call you a whore however you don't seem to be charging these guys.

Haha,okay,I don't get which part I came off as a whore,lol. :frown:

However. I want to remind you of a few pretty words that may dump a wee bit of cold water on your raging hormones.

Chlamydia
Gonorrhea
Syphilis
Human Immunodeficiency Virus
..........
There are other risks, physical ones like meeting a potential Jack the Ripper type Character where you end up in a situation like being at the bottom of the well being told to put lotions on the skin. Or worse - dead.
........
There are also emotional risks, such as falling in love with a guy who just cannot reciprocate - unrequited love is terrible sort of thing that I have watched bring down too many guys.

I see. I'm aware of these risks. I may need to educate myself more on STDs,but as for meeting strangers,I always take precautions to meet at safe and public place,and if I don't feel comfortable with the idea of it,I'll omit it all together. So far our conversations have been very meaningful,I don't see him as potential serial killer or something,but I'm not putting my guard down yet. As for unrequited love,that's a bit early for that,haha,but I know it is bound to happen sooner or later,it's all just experience to me.

I would hate to learn you got hurt in this process, by any route, medically, physically or emotionally.

Holding out for love is not a bad thing, there is extra bonuses such as its safer medically, physically and emotionally. Yes there is still risks involved in relationships. But less risks than meeting strangers, even 'FWB' situations.

Aww,thanks Bowyn. Holding out for love is...well...very tiring. It's exhausting me sexually too,which is why I'm considering FWB as the second best option,as well as a new experience for me. We've never met yet,so I guess he is still a stranger to me,but we've had several good conversations,as good as the ones I always have with my best friends,so I suppose that stranger title is as good as gone when we actually meet up.