Getting this off my chest

[Uneunsae]

^ This is so true and caused me to drastically rethink my entire paradigm regarding relationships about 5 years ago. It's scary to change my view, but I don't want to keep trying to attain something that's not rational. Life partners are possible, but you have to figure out how to deal with that "itch" that Bowyn is talking about. And do so without hurting anyone.

[Softmachine]

You make a good point Bowyn; there are issues in our relationship that precede the whole 'I have to admit I'm bi' problem. If I was happy and satisified with her now then it wouldn't make a difference if I was straight or bi, because I'd want to be with her and nobody else (for the time being perhaps anyway). I realise that if I was in a relationship with a guy the same issue might happen, I'd be on this forum saying 'I need to tell my boyfriend that I'm bi and I fancy women as well'.

The grass does always seem greener on the other side, although I'm not under the illusion that gay relationships are entirely blissful and problem-free. It's possible, probably predictable, that the same thing would happen again. Perhaps during a long-term relationship with a guy I'd think, 'Oh no, I miss the joys of women' and tear myself up over the same thing, hop over to the other side and break another person's heart. The only way safeguard is to be honest with my partners in the future. Mea culpa.

If I ponder it in its entireity, then there are clearly other issues in our relationship, particularly in myself, in how things are going in my life in other areas and so on. This isn't just a bisexual crisis moment, but that's an easy thing to peg it all on. Without wanting to be reductive, it was the bisexual issue I wanted to get off my chest in this particular thread, and which is the thing I probably need most venting about, because whereas I can talk about other issues with friends and family, the sexuality issue is something I feel I can't. I should be honest with everyone I know, but I know it would create problems for some of my friends - you may counter that they are not the best kind of mates for me then, and I'm a fake friend anyway for putting up a false image of myself.