Hello- I'm new here and I'm a bit afraid

[SCTony]

Hello everyone

This is my first time posting in a message board- never thought I'd be posting in one called gayspeak. :biggrin:

I am a 49 year old married man living in South Carolina and I've been bi-curious for as long as I can remember. I label myself as curious because I've never taken any steps to act on my feelings other than viewing gay porn on the internet.

I have to tell you all, I'm scared. I want to explore this side of my sexuality but I don't even know where to begin. I don't know the lingo or the culture, I have no idea how to find someone to possibly meet, I don't even know what I'd do if I actually met someone.

On top of that- there's the guilt I'm feeling. I'm a married man and my wife would never accept that her husband wants to be with a man- even if it's only sometimes.

I'm hoping that by reading through the posts on here I will start to learn my way around and gain some insight into what I'm feeling and where I'm going. If anyone has any advice I'd be more than happy to receive it.

Thanks

[Wolfpack]

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time. Dealing with our sexuality is hard for all of us, so you are not alone.

Search on the site for information that may help you.

And you have come to the right place, this site is great for getting help and advice. Lots of friendly and helpful people on here.

welcome to GS and hope you find the support you need on here.

[Gideon]

Hey man, welcome to the forum.

It takes alot of guts to admit to being curious, yeah? And I think it's a great first step considering alot of men won't even let themselves go that far.

Take you're time, keep an open mind and feel it out. There's a great group here so I'm sure it will help you in figuring out your direction.

[Mark]

Hey welcome to Gayspeak. First of all I would like to say hope you enjoy the site!

I think the hardest thing for you to come to terms with would be sleeping with a guy without your wife knowing, or if she did know would it end things? Its not so much what you'd want to try.. you could try it and hate it but then saying that you could LOVE it.

Anyway, theres a few members on here that have been married and in the same position so I hope some of them will post as they can share their stories with you But chat to us all and you will understand the gay culture a bit more :p

[yourname]

I'm new here too, but I've been on another [gay] forum and we had guys like yourself drop by. I'm sure this will be a safe place for you to explore what you're feeling in a way that won't get you in any trouble with the missus. Sometimes camaraderie is enough.

[Trollileo]

You're definitely not alone. I've encountered 100's of men in a similar situation. Some men went through with explaining their desires/feelings to their wives and were able to stay friends; others just stayed where they are and eventually just kept their impulses to themselves. The choice is up to you and there's no wrong choice.

How your wife will react is up to her. Those that have told their wives (or husbands, because women can be in a similar situation) have had very different experiences ranging from being inclusive of another man in sexual exploits, opening up the marriage/relationship, agreeing that these impulses may be better left alone and remaining monogamous, split up and remain friends, or the worst outcome (depending on your opinion) split up and completely cut each other off.

Anyway, best of luck to you. There are many people here, myself included (even though I'm only 23 and have ABSOLUTELY no life experience) who are willing to talk to you and give you advice or just lend an ear.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Welcome to GS, man.

I know that taking steps on a new path can be really scary, but I think you're in the right place. I've been on a few gay forums over the years and from what I've experienced so far? This place is really welcoming and open minded. There doesn't appear to be much in the way of backbiting and other behavior here, which is a definite blessing.

Good luck with finding your way, man. I can't say I have much of an idea what you're going through, as I've always been 'out' as far as my preferences go. But happy to give an ear and help with advice where I can.

[Uneunsae]

Sorry for what you're going through. It's important to be true to ourselves.

[CellarDweller]

Welcome to the forum! Hope you find some answers here.

[Iceblink]

Hello SCTony. I'm new here also, but I already know there are some great guys here that will offer good advice and support. Welcome.