Hello- I'm new here and I'm a bit afraid

[princealbertofb]

Welcome to GS, man.

I know that taking steps on a new path can be really scary, but I think you're in the right place. I've been on a few gay forums over the years and from what I've experienced so far? This place is really welcoming and open minded. There doesn't appear to be much in the way of backbiting and other behavior here, which is a definite blessing.

Good luck with finding your way, man. I can't say I have much of an idea what you're going through, as I've always been 'out' as far as my preferences go. But happy to give an ear and help with advice where I can.

Different generations cope with their own sexual realities in very different ways. Way back when - then - it wasn't a given that a man could have feelings for another man. It was very much frowned upon. It was difficult to come out. Most men of our generation will have known those difficulties. I'm not saying it's any easier for a young man of the new generations, but I think it is becoming more common, and coming out is accepted more readily, and with less surprise. Also it is easier to come out when one hasn't got all the social background and baggage of being married for umpteen years, and being considered by all to be straight.

[SCTony]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. It's comforting to know that what I'm feeling is not something unique to me. Others have been in the same boat. For now I will read through the posts and try to come to some sort of understanding of what I'm feeling.

At this point I don't think I will discuss any of this with my wife. I don't want to burden her with this until I'm sure of what's going on inside of me.

[sfdiamondguy]

New here too, welcome. Not sure what to expect from this site.

[marshlander]

... At this point I don't think I will discuss any of this with my wife. I don't want to burden her with this until I'm sure of what's going on inside of me.

That is exactly how I felt. I have often felt that honesty unfettered is over-rated. I felt that until I had something worth rocking the boat about there was no point saying anything. I wouldn't have been able to answer the inevitable questions anyway.

This is your journey to make. If I had my time again I don't know how I would do anything differently. I would probably make the same mistakes. I would like to have been able to do it without hurting the people I cared about the most though.

Would that we lived in a time when all parents were able to help their offspring come to terms with the hand that nature deals instead of colluding with the vested interests in society and, especially, religion to make each of us fit into their moulds.

[princealbertofb]

New here too, welcome. Not sure what to expect from this site.

Well you might expect at least a from me... Hello diamondguy... what is it about you and diamonds?

[Russ]

I just joined here myself, and found this thread on the forums. I could basically copy and paste SCTony's original post and use it as mine, with the exception of the age (I'm 46). I am finding it more and more difficult to deal with these feelings...it seemed much easier to ignore them in my twenties and thirties. Anyway, I echo the requests for advice and counsel. Thanks very much!

[Virge]

Welcome Tony!

Just a few few weeks ago I was hanging out with local gays where I live. They're all over 40, all eight of them. They agreed that men like you most likely outnumber those of us who are "out" and openly gay.

I've just learned about this guy, Mel White and hope to meet him this August. He's a minister who came out after working for years for people like Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and many other conservative christians. He's gone on to devote his time to helping people understand.


Here's an old clip from when he was featured on 60 minutes where his wife talks.


Here's a link to SOULFORCE started by Mel Fisher
http://soulforce.com/
here's other good web sites for good honest info
http://www.itgetsbetter.org/
http://mccchurch.org/

My 88 year old grandfather is still living much the same life you are now. He came out to me 2 years ago but to no one else yet and isn't sure if he ever will. Seeing things from his perspective has helped me understand things better. He's just now realizing that everything he was taught about gay people and homosexuality, by the church, politicians, and even doctors was either all wrong or total lies.

Hang in there and know you can ask anything in here and get honest answers.

And... I'm pretty new here and planning on staying. This is THE cleanest and NICEST gay forum in all of the internet. Just take my word on that and don't bother trying to find out for yourself.

[Wolfpack]

Hi Russ and welcome to gs

coming to terms with ones sexuality is never easy for any of use, but it WILL get easier for you in time.

This forum is great for getting help and support, stick around and i am sure many members on here will be able to give you some good advice.

[CuriousInSC]

I read Tony's honest post and was moved by what he said. If I was to share my feelings, Tony could not have written my own script more accurately. It is a new world to explore with many "unknowns", I would feel less intimidated by the process if I knew I could spend time over dinner or coffee with someone exactly like Tony who hasn't been through the process, but is searching in the same way. To discuss openly our feelings and compare thoughts without judgement or any expected result.

[Wolfpack]

Hi CuriouslnSc, and you are most welcome to gs, I hope you get some of the support you are looking for on this forum.