Long distance relationship

[Mark]

I think it works if you are willing to commit to them and actually say yup I love you I trust you and I'm devoted to you. If you can't say the above then it won't work out very well. It takes a lot of work and time but I don't think it's one rule for everyone. Sometimes it can work for people sometimes it can't.. Too many factors!

[princealbertofb]

It works for some, and not so much for others. It takes a lot of patience and trust, you also have to be able to deal with less sex and physical contact due to the distance.

I had a friend from high school who dated her boyfriend for most of senior year, then after graduation they had to be a few states away from each other due to them attending different universities. Two years later, they're still together and seem happy as ever.

The saying goes: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
There must be something in this saying. The key to the matter is to find the ways to reconnect when you meet in person again. Trust, love, and friendship are all important in this, and, I daresay, freedom.
If you stop connecting in some way, there must be grounds for reconnecting, just like when you meet up with a long lost friend and realise that it feels as if you only met yesterday for the last time (even though 30 years have elapsed). It's got to do with having kindred spirits.

[princealbertofb]

I think it works if you are willing to commit to them and actually say yup I love you I trust you and I'm devoted to you. If you can't say the above then it won't work out very well. It takes a lot of work and time but I don't think it's one rule for everyone. Sometimes it can work for people sometimes it can't.. Too many factors!

All this "time" you're talking about is probably less than the time you'd have to devote to someone actually living by your side. So the time element doesn't really come into it. It's got to do with being unselfish and thinking of the other often enough. I won't deny the devotion and the efforts or work it takes. I'd say it's a state of mind. One in which you think of your partner, keep him / her in mind often, sometimes do something about it, like send a text message, or get in touch for a spot of chat.

[POFLGBT]

Ha! This is MY AREA OF EXPERTISE! (Cracks knuckles)

You do have to be very cautious when dealing with online relationships. I met someone online and talked to them strictly by phone and internet for well over 5 years and thought I knew the person. Didn't realize I was being lied to until I found out the person died and I went 3 states over to the funeral. Their whole identity was a lie... The person did exist, but the name was different, the person was different from what I seen in pictures/etc. I felt like an idiot. The person I thought I knew NEVER EXISTED. Instead it was someone who told me what they thought I waned to hear for over 5 years.

Aside from that, there were 2 other incidents where I could never get them to meet me. We'd make plans and when the day would come, I'd get a call with some lame excuse.. One actually faked their own death. Ridiculous how some people are.

As I previously said, I've met several people that I've had ongoing friendships with and some included benefits. The person I'm with now is someone I met on the net. We knew each other for about 3 years before we finally met. The best thing that has ever happened to me.

The bottom line is don't get too attached until you know the person is real. Try to meet/Skype/etc- or something that will give you the proof you need that the person is really who they say they are. This sounds a little extreme, but believe me, people are hateful and manipulative. It's for your own protection. The sooner you KNOW for sure this person is really who they say they are and is being totally truthful, the better off you'll be. It's hard to control feelings- period. Much less for any length of time.

I hope this helps!

[POFLGBT]

This is my area of expertise. I've met quite a few people online. I've also been burned quite a few times.

The most important thing is to make SURE the person is real AND that they ARE who they say they are. Whether this is a meetup in a public place, Skype, however you have to do it. First thing is to establish they are real and they're telling you the TRUTH. I know this sounds extreme, but I was in a long distance relationship for about 5 years and didn't know the person was lying about their identity until I received a phone call that they had passed. I went THREE STATES over to the funeral and found out that their name and identity was all a LIE. I felt like a total idiot. There were elements of truth in everything they said, so I was deceived. Their whole family was exactly as I thought they were- except for the person that mattered most.

It's important to find out these things before feelings are developed. It's hard enough dealing with emotions- much less if there are unanswered questions. So better to find out who they are before feelings come into play.

Hope this helps!

[TwisttheLeaf]

Gideon and I have been in a long distance relationship for six years now. He's my first love. I couldn't imagine life without him and I'm so happy that he's in my life in any capacity that he can be.

We first met online in a literary roleplay environment. He (apparently) watched me and lurked on me quite awhile before we ever met on the site. After meeting, I ran from what I was feeling for quite a bit. He made me nervous and I'd never met anyone in life or online that could do that. His writing is exceptional. Emotive. I was drawn back again and again, and eventually we developed a friendship that quickly moved into something more.

Long distance relationships are different in-person relationships. It involves a lot of of emails, texts etc. a lot of communication, and honesty is a must. So is baring ones feelings openly on a daily basis. Distance creates doubts, and without those things, it can quickly become a mess. For us, maybe this is a little easier because we are both creative writers, do getting across our thoughts and emotions is often as easy as finding a medium to put them down upon. I also think that our creative writing we do together is a huge tool in giving us the needed closeness that would otherwise make a long distance relationship feel more like waiting for more than an actual relationship in the moment.

So yes. It is definitely possible. But, as others have said, probably quite rare to be able to make work for a significant amount of time. But, it definitely can be done.

[Bhp91126]

At the beginning of our relationship, after having met while being on vacation, my husband and I had an LDR for 6 years between Cologne and Amsterdam. Then we moved to the US together and moved in with each other. We saw each other almost every weekend and spent all vacations together during the 6 years. We always had an open relationship and great communication and were on the same page about what we wanted from the relationship.

[TheGayGrotto]

I answered this question on my blog today which has an in-depth response. But in short, stay communicative and be mature. It's not easy.

[Bhp91126]

I answered this question on my blog today which has an in-depth response. But in short, stay communicative and be mature. It's not easy.

I could give you an in depth reply but I think an emoticon is enough



They don't have an eye-rolling smiley on here
:o

[TwisttheLeaf]

I answered this question on my blog today which has an in-depth response. But in short, stay communicative and be mature. It's not easy.

These posts directing people to your blog for replies is no more spammy without a link than it would be if you provided one for the convenience of those that might want to take a look.