Premature Ejaculation

[TwistedxD]

Alright I may have posted about this before, I honestly do not remember and I am posting from my phone, and am not sure how to check from it if I have. So sorry if I have already, but this will be more in depth if I did. Alright my boyfriend and I have been together for about three months, and we do regularly have sex. My issues is that I can't last that long in bed, and it's really embarrassing. I can last anywhere from 2 minutes to 10. It is really taking its toll on my self esteem. My boyfriend on the other hand can last literally all night. He can't get off from oral or hand jobs at all, and when it comes to sex he bottoms, because Its too uncomfortable for me to. We will be having sex, and things are going great, but then boom I'm done. In order for him to get off I have to ether use a toy on him while he j/o or I do it for him, or finger him. He says that it doesn't matter to him at all, but it really bugs me. I feel really self conscious about it. So my question is this. Is there anything I can do to make myself last longer in bed. I mean for real me lasting 2 minutes while he can last a good hour and a half. It is really embarrassing. I feel like hes not fully satisfied. I can't even find sex enjoyable because of this. Literally as soon as it starts feeling great I'm done. What can I do? For the most of it it won't feel good to me at all until the very end. It's even like that for me with oral and masturbation. I really don't know what to do. I have literally tried everything. So if anyone can help I would really appreciate it.

[Samdabisa]

Twisted, I know how you feel. Personally, the underside of my head, or glans, is very sensitive to stimulation when I am receiving a BJ, I'm masturbating with toys (or grinding against something) or actually topping. I have found that I can last longer in certain positions rather than others because they don't put as much friction onto the extra sensitive portion of my glans. I've had those moments where one second I feel like I'm going at a good rate to keep things going for more than just a few minutes and then next things I know I'm past the point of no return.

I wouldn't get discouraged. I would try different positions to see if that helps, try a climax control cream (most drug stores have them I believe, and if you feel embarassed order online or use a self-check out). Maybe even release a load prior to when you expect to be intimate may help too.

[princealbertofb]

Have you found that the problem lies in coming too soon when it's the first endeavour? Or do you find this repeats itself when you try again a few minutes after your first ejaculation? Would it be possible for you to last longer if you had your first ejaculation( and got that out of the way) and then tried having sex again with him but this time concentrating on keeping him happy?

[princealbertofb]

Differing libidos, and differing body responses... You can't help any of that. Maybe even different ages between you?

You could also buy some sex toys and get him started on those.... Then when you feel he's getting nearer to climax, then maybe you could both enjoy partnered sex...

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Average lifespan of a man in bed 7 minutes.

2-ten falls within that area. Lasting all night, is atypical, or if you prefer abnormal.

He is the one with the problem, not you.

Long have I lamented the horrors porn has caused for this generation, now I get to quote directly that same lament:

Porn has done irreparable damage to men over the world. They’ve created an impression among viewers that couples are supposed to have sex for hours and men only come an eternity. Even if that’s a slight exaggeration, many men feel that they ejaculate before they are ‘finished’. This creates a sense of deep anguish among men and gives them the impression that they’re not good lovers.


Source: http://www.thehealthsite.com/sexual-heal...-too-soon/

Read the whole article.

Honestly if you are able to last ten minutes you're above average to being with.

I fall on the above average scale, that is largely due to my first lover breaking me with a lot of denied orgasm. Either he broke me or he trained me... either way the end product is it takes a wee bit more action for me to get off now.

If you want to extend your bed time (why on earth you would want to do that instead of sleep like normal people, I don't know) try denied orgasm.

[TwisttheLeaf]

My suggestion is WAY more foreplay, especially for him, before you get to the fucking part of your activities. Hell, there have been times with Gid he's done so much foreplay that by the time my dick is touched it's like fireworks.

Get him worked up to the point that by the time you fuck him, he'll be blowing with you. Toys, bj, fingering, etc. Do it all -before- you blow, instead of after. It may take him longer to get there, so start him off earlier than you and work him up to that point.

[Cuddly]

Can't you just stop whatever you're doing? Deny yourself the release so you can calm down a bit and then continue?

I have (or atleast used to? it seems to be getting "better" on its own) the same problem as your boyfriend. I/we have to work hard for me to cum, so I can't really relate to your issue. But when I'm playing with my husbear I simply stop, when I feel him approaching climax, too soon, for my taste. *tease the bear!*

[Uneunsae]

I don't know if this will help, but I regularly practice "edging". It's where you build yourself up to the point of orgasm and them stop stimulation and then doing that over and over. It's actually a Taoist practice and is good for you besides making you last longer in bed.

[AlohaShannon]

I don't know if this will help, but I regularly practice "edging". It's where you build yourself up to the point of orgasm and them stop stimulation and then doing that over and over. It's actually a Taoist practice and is good for you besides making you last longer in bed.

Excellent suggestion! A couple other posters on this thread mentioned similar things but I like the terminology. You can also delay your orgasm by completely stopping before you hit the point of no return and go back to foreplay or kissing until you feel like you've "come down" a bit. In my last committed relationship I had to do this quite regularly. Since I don't regularly masturbate it becomes much easier for me to finish relatively quicker. So I did exactly as I described above. I think it also increases intimacy and it definitely prolongs the experience. By doing this, I've also been able to experience mini orgasms and still been able to have a regular full one at the end.

[Uneunsae]

Yeah, you're spot on. It can draw out the sex act and make it last for hours. In Taoism, we call it doing the "peaks and valleys". Sexy!