I want something more...will he ever?

[sdguy]

So I met this guy on a site a few weeks ago that was looking for someone that works nights and want to hang out to avoid boredom. Basically saying someone to watch movies with, play video games, cuddle, or even sex. The first night we met we cuddled on the couch and then eventually starting making out and had sex (he's amazing in bed!). We had exchanged numbers and pretty much talk all day and all night texting each other and then we hang out here and there. We've talked so much and hung out a lot that I feel like I really know him and I'm really starting to like him even though I wasn't sure what this was going to amount to. He's a pretty quiet guy and I am too actually so he doesn't say too much in detail about anything. He did tell me he likes hanging out with me and all that. So the other day I got up the courage to ask him what he was all looking for out of what we were doing....hanging out, watching movies or whatever and having sex or if he would want something more eventually. Basically he told me he's just looking for someone to hang out with because it can get boring in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep and that he tends to stay away from relationships because he's bad in them. I did tell him that I really like him and that I like hanging out with him. And I asked him why he's bad in relationships. He said that he's too quiet to people think something's wrong and he likes to spend time by himself quite a bit and that he doesn't usually say what's wrong. I can be the same way too, which I told him. So after all of that I just said that we should go back to how things were and just forget I asked because I like hanging out and he was fine with that.

I just really like him and idk what I should do. I think about him all of the time. And try to hang out with him as much as I can. He works 6 nights a week and I work 3 nights a week so we usually hang out a couple nights a week when he's off. I just feel like I'm going to drive myself crazy because I want to be with him as more than what we have and all he wants is to be friends and idk what to do.

[meninlove]

This: 'He said that he's too quiet to people think something's wrong and he likes to spend time by himself quite a bit and that he doesn't usually say what's wrong.'

He likes to spend lots of time by himself. He usually doesn't say what's wrong.

If this progresses you have to accept that he will be alone much of the time and not with you, and that if something is wrong he won't tell you. Be sure this is what you want.

[happyschizoid]

Sounds like in the end you will be let down.

Having feelings for someone who doesn't have the same feelings for me never turned out well. My feelings never seem to lessen and if his don't grow for me I just end up miserable in the end.

Best of luck

[TwisttheLeaf]

Although I personally am a reformed "non talker/non sharer", I agree with Men in Love on this.

Gideon changed my ways, ways I revert back to again and again even now. It was hard work for him. Hard for him to get me to open up. Hard for him to -keep- me opening up. It took a lot of perseverance, and to be honest? A lot of dominance on his part to even get me there.... let alone keep me there.

Looking back at it? I'm sure he feels the work was worth it. But, I have a feeling it was a lot harder and a lot more painful than even I realize. I also have a feeling it wouldn't work for everyone. Hell, my relapses to old habits alone make it clear it's still a work in progress.

I also like a good deal of alone time. Since Gideon and I are in a long distance relationship, that's not really an issue tho, yeah? It is something that -you- would have to struggle with. And worry about that he will progressively want more and more alone time the closer you get.

[HIkerSkier]

Sounds like in the end you will be let down.

Having feelings for someone who doesn't have the same feelings

He has said it for you, that he is not into relationships. You will probably be frustrated frequently, because you want to spend more time with him, and he is not that available. If you can live with this until you find someone who really is into having a relationship - so be it. (Would it be true to say that there are not a lot of gay guys in Sioux Falls to choose from?)

[Bowyn Aerrow]

It appears that what he wanted at the start of this he still wants.

Now he told you what he is looking for, twice.


You asked and he answered.

That is what he has to offer, if you want more you should seek elsewhere.

And apparently he has told you a hella of a lot which belies the whole 'I'm too quiet' issue.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

If your having fun and enjoy being together, then Id be inclined to continue having fun and enjoying being together. Id rather have that than nothing at this stage.

He may come around, he may not. Your young, have fun and don't overthink where you are at with him

ObW
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