Why do I get hit on by middle aged daddies?

[VidasParalelas]

Isn't it better than getting hit on and eye raped by cougars?

The other week a sales associate at a garden center was helping me. She looked like a mature woman in her mid to late fifties. She started to flirt with me hard within minutes. Kinda felt like my mother trying to sex me up. I felt somewhat altered by the experience.

[artyboy]

That's how I look at it mate,

Not sure of this thing at the moment of trying to find the negative in everything.

Sounds more like you are not used to this sort attention really.

[Uneunsae]

Wow, I think some of you got really offended by this. To some young guys, this kind of attention is new and can be strange/scary. Also, media (esp porn) has a lot of guys thinking that the old/young pairing is common or what they're "supposed" to do.

I don't think that personal attacks were called for.

[SilverBullet]

Thats pretty funny ^_^, but personally im 24 and dating a 22. Im attracted to people my age give or take a few years, someone 40+ would be a bit too far but would enjoy a non flirty conversation with them. Personally as another has posted though, I prefer someone that is more mature and intelligent. I dated a 18 year old air head when i was 22 and my GOSH it was the worst mistake of my life........ ...... I mean that literally.....

[yourname]

Meh...I think some of you narcissistic youngun's think you're the first people to ever be oggled. [eyeroll] Newsflash: there have been attractive men (and --gasp--even women) before you fell out of your mama's uterus.

All us old guys were young once....this isn't "new". If there's a difference, it's that when I was young and being oggled by --you know [insert ageist insults here]--those were also the guys telling me to ignore society's homophobes, that I could be a "good person" and also be gay, and that what I was 'going through' was stuff they'd gone through and they'd help me navigate it all. No rape, no molestation, involved.....just inter-generational support and camaraderie.

Sorry to disappoint.

[Uneunsae]

He clearly doesn't think he's the only one as he asked if this was the way it always happens - older men going after younger ones.

[Bhp91126]

Wow, I think some of you got really offended by this. To some young guys, this kind of attention is new and can be strange/scary. Also, media (esp porn) has a lot of guys thinking that the old/young pairing is common or what they're "supposed" to do.

I don't think that personal attacks were called for.

Thank you for the reminder that we're all trying to find our way through gay life and insecurity through inexperience is often masked by cockiness and attitude.

Maybe those chickenhawks just want to

mentor

the freshmen.....
Yeah, right.

[Bluelight]

Yeah, I kind of find that creepy, maybe not necessarily wrong, but I know I wouldn't appreciate such attention from older men either...

I'm the same way, I'd rather be with guys my age. Contrary to things that have been said here, I do not find that preferring your own age group is "shallow"... in other words, I disagree with the idea that you should sacrifice your happiness for others' happiness just because you're younger and presumably more attractive. That really doesn't seem fair, especially not in the world of dating.

The word "shallow" gets thrown around way too much, it's not shallow of someone to prefer dating in their league, and it's not shallow for someone to not want to date another person because there's a 30-year age difference.

It's shallow when you're really picky, when their fashion sense or their taste in music or a personality quirk are a deal-breaker. It's shallow when you're a tease, it's shallow when you lead people on because you take too long to determine how much of your precious time they're worth.

I can't emphasize enough that people shouldn't have to change their preferences. No one can do that at will, if anything changes it'll be time and fate's doing.

[Uneunsae]

^^^ Agree with this.

[Camfer]

To attempt to answer the OP's sincere question, if you are at a gay club on your own, you will get approached by other guys who are also alone. A lot of younger people tend to travel in packs, while many middle-aged guys can't find anyone to go out to a club with them, and hence may end up at gay clubs on their own. When you're alone you're approachable, so they approach you. You will get fewer guys approaching you if you're there with friends and never leave their side.

I guess the real point is to be kind to everyone and to state clearly in a polite manner if you're not interested in someone. Next step is to approach whomever interests you. Don't sit back and hope a guy you're interested to know will approach you. Take initiative. Get used to some rejection by guys. It's good practice in case you find yourself single and middle aged one day.