Why do I get hit on by middle aged daddies?

[CASH]

Why do I keep getting hit on by 20 year-old college kids?

Because in the grand scope of Human emotion and attraction - there is a little of everything for everyone.

Be kind to those You are not interested in - if they walk away somehow feeling a little better then they did when they first screwed up the courage to talk to You in the first place - Yer doing something right...

I said in another thread - letting someone down gently is a TRUE artform. Learn it.

We have nothing to fear but invisibility. If someone wants to take the time to talk to You and maybe buy You a drink and PERHAPS a good bracelet and maybe a weekend in Vegas...be flattered - it doesn't cost You anything but a little time ...and You are not obligated to ANYTHING!!!

It's life. It's fun. EAT UP!!!

[swalter]

I think it's a bit conceited to automatically think all these older guys are trying to fuck you. This may come as a surprise, but there's a lot of older gay guys who are just friendly and on the lookout for new friends. Of course there's some who see you as a piece of meat, but so what? You're 18, new to the bars, and probably pretty. I got news for you, that shit doesn't last forever so better enjoy the attention while they're giving it. The next 18 years of your life are going to go by a hell of a lot faster than the first 18 (yeah, that's right, time goes by faster the longer you're alive), and before you know it, you'll be that "creepy old guy".

[Charon]

I feel I must say something, I'm not sure what, for those of us who are actually old, not by the definition you offer-40. Take me, I'm 70, that's old no matter how you look at it and I haven't looked at an 18 year old in my whole, mortal life. Most of them are dull, egocentric, not particularly bright, and are of the opinion that they are the "IT" of the moment. Note that last phrase. "of the moment"...and that moment is sooooo fleeting. Let me abuse them of something, you're not even old enough to drink or think. BUT here's something...remember that nice if dull guy you overlooked because his shoes weren't even last year, they were J.C Penney? Remember the guy who wore glasses? Do you remember what you said about them? Now hear this; I'll take either of those guys to a grand dinner, no sex implied, and give them a taste of what they can and will have if they learn as they go, become the keen observers they already are and I'll roll on the floor laughing my fucking ass off when they describe you and what they've seen you do. You feel you're invincible...although from what other than the knowledge that you will age...eludes me. The sad thing is when you're "old" (your definition) you'll still be acting and living just as you do know and a sorry sight it will be. Actually, 20 or, God forbid, 25 may kill you so 40....and way worse than that 70....So, do enjoy your stupid venal life. For those "old" men of 40 or 50 whom you are rejecting based on age alone, guys, you were lucky, I know it looked cute or handsome or well built or well hung but...that's all they were. Be grateful they didn't go home (or anywhere) with you, for all you missed was a tour de farce of vapidity on the hoof. Now, you 40 and 50 year olds, if you're really looking for something refreshing, witty, intelligent...think the real older, for the smoother, longer lasting sort of relationship, you'll find they have everything you're looking for and a good peek behind the curtains as to what your lives may be. Plan Ahead!
Would someone help me down from my soap box? Yes, you, the silver haired gentleman who has it cut in a crew and looks like something I'd like to know. Thanks, now, how about the two of us find a nice piano bar and compare flavours of single malts or Kentucky's best. Or we could sit here, comfortably in the sun, and talk.

[jimcrackcorn]

I remember when I was young,, there would be older men who would buy me a drink and strike up a conversation. A couple of these older gentlemen became good friends and would invite me to their dinner parties where they would sometimes introduce me to other young men in hopes of finding a good match for me.

I also remember one party where an older gentleman had a few to many drinks and made a pass at me, but it took little effort on my part to politely decline the invitation. He profusely apologized for his behavior the next time we met.

Those youthful days were so much fun and filled with excitement, I never got bored or lacked for company. All I had to do was put on a smile, and be friendly.

I'm now old, and married to a grumpy old fart who I adore (most of the time).... And like our predecessors, we treat the young folks with respect and kindness.

Naaaa,,, what we really do is invite young men over to our house under the pretense that they can have all the candy & liquor they want,,, then we wait until their tummy's are full of candy & their brains are pickled with liquor - then we pounce on them unexpectedly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (just kidding)

The Candy Man,
Jim

[Har19]

I wish... but i don't understand their body language...

is like of what most of the time is.. "he want's to insert me? or not to insert me?" of a look

~ there goes my middle age men crisis.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

The majority of cases surround the fact that us old people (I'm 48 now) tend not to perceive ourselves as old. Most of us are cool cats that are hip to all the modern groovy stuff.

The other part is that many old people that do this missed out on their youth and are trying to do catch-up. Many, if not most, of those creepy old dudes actually didn't come out until recently.

And while we do not like it, humans are evolved to find youth to be a beneficial trait in a mate. Thus is there some biological push to pair off with youth.

I personally am not that way. While I know of a few kids who are definitely fuckable, datable and relationship material? Not really. This isn't to day they are cool, its because we do not share a common frame of reference.


However being on the other side, there are a lot of very young dudes who want to do me. I tend to draw them in. IDK, I don't have a giant wallet, I'm masculine but nothing screams 'total top'... I can only assume its because I appear wise and learned and mature which are qualities that some kids find attractive.


I'm sure that many cases have other pressures involved so the answer most likely is not as general and pat as that.

I suggest that when an old guy starts to chat you up ask him what his motivation really it.

Its kids like you that keep people like me out of the bars and clubs. I don't talk to people because I want to do the two back beast with them, I talk because I want to be friends. Many older dudes are like me, single, alone, and out of our element. We don't want to do you, we want someone one our side who knows the modern world and will nicely correct us when we say 'groovy'.

Yes there are a very pervy/creepy times. Don't judge us all based on them

[Uneunsae]

The tone of response from some people here is totally shocking and reveal such bitterness and deeper issues. So, the OP is conceited and shallow because he doesn't want to date men old enough to be his father? This is just.... wow....!

Age does not equal maturity, intelligence, experience, or any of those things.

When I was younger, and had older guys come after me, they often could not take "no" for an answer and would just go on and on about how "wise", "learned", "experienced", "cool" they were just like some of you here. The majority of the time they were none of these things and usually, it wasn't long before their true intentions were made clear. I cannot tell you how many times I felt like the older man and they were the ones that needed some wisdom. Age does not automatically give you these things. It doesn't make you like some fine aged wine that everyone should want to desire just because you want them to. Have I met older men who possesses these qualities? YES, absolutely. However, they are EXTREMELY rare. Good people in general are not common, and it's going to be even more difficult to find them in bars and clubs.

Any guy, no matter what his age, who boasts about himself, declares himself superior and worthy of friendship, is immediately unattractive to me. Age doesn't automatically make you some superior being. It is some of the replies here that have been way more conceited and shallow than anything in the OP.

Most people going to clubs are looking for sex, anyway. The OP seems to be talking about this situation, not "I'm going out trying to make friends."

If you get turned down in RL by younger men, then maybe insulting them is not the way to go if you're aim is to be some older mentor.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Well I only appear to be wise, mature, etc. I know better. I'm a screaming immature child who knows nothing and can't help anyone.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

For the record, I would just like to point out that while I am older (but wiser) than a fair few of you (OK not Caron - btw who IS our most senior member?) That this is a two way issue.

Ive been hit on by by a fair few younger guys who see my maturity as something to be used to draw experience from.

Just because the OP is uncomfortable with oldies, definitely doesn't mean all younger guys are the same.

Im 10 years older than my SO. Im 52

ObW
X

[HumbleTangerine]

I've never actually been with a man much older than me, but I kind of dig the concept of a young, relatively inexperienced guy doing it with a more mature man. Maybe it's only hot when I'm an observer though... Maybe if I rigged a camera and watched us in the process. But then I'd have to pretend I'm somebody else...

I'll fuck an older man while watching it from above using a camera and a screen whilst pretending I'm actually watching a swiss exchange student who just so happens to kind of look like me fucking his real estate owner to compensate to repay some overdue rent.