I have been with my BF for 2 years.
We love each other in peacetime,and I want to be with him all along.
But sometimes he turned very inconstant suddenly so that I lose my mind.He would say he did love me no longer,he would leave me.The happening was even without any reason.I had to crave he to stay with me every time,and then he would promise me.
The frequency of above is about once three months.
He is a good guy,and he is good to me.
I don't want to break up with him.
So I was so intranquil when he turned inconstant.
It happened again three days ago,and now, he is recovered.But I still feel sad.I can't sure what time he would go,I can't control my future.I don't know how I can do.
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That is so sad i feel for you . I hope you can work thru this you have been together 2 yrs and you seem to love him. No relationship is perfect but you need to be happy. Try and talk to him and work it out if possible. But he has to put 100% into the relationship just as you. Be thinking of you and hope all goes well
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I'm a : Gay Man in an Open Gay Relationship
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Your boyfriend is very insecure. Every couple of months he needs to hear that you only want to be with him.
If I were you, I would talk about the relationship with him very often and tell him how much you love him and how happy you are to be in a relationship with him.
Maybe you can ask him, why he is so insecure after 2 years with you?
Was he in a bad relationship before? Did someone dump him all of a sudden? Did you cheat on him?
Ask him what you can do to build his confidence?
Hope this helps
Bernd
Being gay is not for Sissies.
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Hi eden.
'The frequency of above is about once three months.' Can you live with this? If not, you need to talk to him about this.
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Regardless of the underlying motivation, this behavior is manipulative. He is using your emotions and fears to get you to do whatever for him.
Insecurity and need to be assured is one thing, to set about to make certain your love stays with you by holding them emotionally hostage by threats is not healthy.
I have to wonder what else he gets when he has his moments. Do you find yourself relenting on stuff, giving him what he wants in order to prove you love? If so this manipulative behavior takes on darker qualities and slips from 'needy person' to 'abusive person'.
Yes I know, you love him so are going to put up with a lot more crap from him than you would from others. however love is not enough, and sacrificing your own health and happiness to appease another never ends well.
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Wow,every 3 months? It feels like he has the power to threat you every 3 months. Or maybe I'm wrong and he's just insecure and need to be reaffirmed. But seriously,have a long talk with him.
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I agree with Bhp's sentiments.
While things are stable and GOOD, it would be time to set him down and gently speak to him about the cycle of his behavior. Find out what he's afraid of. Find out what he needs that he's not getting.
Try and sort out -why- he feels this sudden shift every three months and what triggers it.
It sounds like he is insecure and needs the affirmation. But, if that's the case? There are much better ways to get it than doing what he's doing. If you want to make him happy, you first need to figure out what's making him unhappy.
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This sort of thing happened to me quite a few years ago. I thought By polar at first. Then I found out every few months my boy friend would talk to his brother when he came to town, and our relationship would suffer.
I found out how his brother felt about LGBT in general.
Very mind set in his ways, and he really worked hard on changing his little brother straight. (You couldn't reason with this family) There must be something more to this picture. Something he might not be telling you. There is a TRIGGER here. WHAT is the trigger?
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