Gays and relationship roles.

[Bhp91126]

Why do you automatically blame heterosexual normatives for this kind of relationship? Couldnt this just happen because the gay couple just want to live like that? You should open your mind a little bit. Being gay doesnt mean you have to act the opposite of everything that's established just because you want to be different.

If BOTH of them want to live like that, more power to them and I hope they live happily ever after.
But being gay means that the husband/wife roles do not automatically apply and individual roles in a relationship are at least up for discussion and mutual agreement. If you don't agree on these issues in a relationship, I don't think it is going to last. So don't assume that the other one automatically will be happy in the "wifey" role, just like you shouldn't assume that the other one wants a monogamous relationship as well. Communicate! Communicate! Communicate!

[David3K]

Come on man, READ my post again.

Jesus.

To be honest I didnt read shit

But I'm excused, Italy vs England on TV right now. Promise Ill read it in 2 mins.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Now you have to say it.

Ok fine.


Since many people have defective DNA that leads to the passing on of genetically linked diseases and disorders, I absolutely have no quarrel with forbidding them to have children.

Satisfied? Now everyone is offended.

[meninlove]

I believe there is nothing wrong to have roles in a gay relationship. Lets say a guy who takes the leading role and the other one more passive (stay at home, cook, etc).

It seems many gays want to live in a 50/50 thing and wont take anything else as acceptable.

And by "values" I basically mean monogamy, loyalty and the will to try to fix things, instead of dismissing a relationship because it didnt work on the first try.

Sure, there are gay men like that (roles you mentioned).

Sure, many won't take anything other than 50/50. Their values are simply different than yours.

[Bhp91126]

Ok fine.
Since many people have defective DNA that leads to the passing on of genetically linked diseases and disorders, I absolutely have no quarrel with forbidding them to have children.
Satisfied? Now everyone is offended.

Ha! I come from Mennonite stock that centuries of inbreeding has taken a heavy toll on, so, me being gay, is probably nature's way of saying, the buck stops here!

[David3K]

Ok fine.


Since many people have defective DNA that leads to the passing on of genetically linked diseases and disorders, I absolutely have no quarrel with forbidding them to have children.

Satisfied? Now everyone is offended.

Alright that's a valid point of view, but what does that have to do with my question or this thread??

[Virge]

Communicate! Communicate! Communicate!

Those three words sum up a whole section of $30.00 books at Barnes & Noble

[Sylph]

I've brought this up before a while ago and it didn't end all that well with regards to the opinions of "modern" day men as opposed to an I guess "old fashioned" gay man.


Basically, the general consensus I get from this sort of discussion is; what will be, is what will be. Trying to figure out the why's and why nots is not necessarily something you're going to get to easily, because this topic is not an easily understood one.

My personal opinion is that roles or similar, in a relationship is fine and whatever, but just in that same light, there are others who do not find it fine, whether they have one or multiple reasons.

In the end, I don't think there is a "cause" or trend per se, but rather just general likes and dislikes.

[TwisttheLeaf]

I think that you may want to take a closer look around. All relationshps have 'roles', it's just how it is. BUT, if you're looking for the type where you have a dominant person who provides and protects combined with a more submissive individual who fits into the role of home, hearth, etc..... you may want to look into D/s.

NOT bdsm. Not bondage or sadomasochism, or master/slave, etc. But the dynamic of a Dominant/submissive relationship.

You will find gays that are open to the type of dynamic you're describing are FAR more common in those circles. Gideon and I have a D/s relationship and it makes me very, very happy. I never thought it would be something I'd like, but hell... when I'm feeling aggressive? He accommodates me, and the rest of the time I get to be where's most comfortable for me, while he's where is most comfortable for him.

[East]

I think that you may want to take a closer look around. All relationshps have 'roles', it's just how it is. BUT, if you're looking for the type where you have a dominant person who provides and protects combined with a more submissive individual who fits into the role of home, hearth, etc..... you may want to look into D/s.

NOT bdsm. Not bondage or sadomasochism, or master/slave, etc. But the dynamic of a Dominant/submissive relationship.

You will find gays that are open to the type of dynamic you're describing are FAR more common in those circles. Gideon and I have a D/s relationship and it makes me very, very happy. I never thought it would be something I'd like, but hell... when I'm feeling aggressive? He accommodates me, and the rest of the time I get to be where's most comfortable for me, while he's where is most comfortable for him.

I have tried to explain this so many times but I have given up. I normally get people trying to define it for me ...as if I made a mistake.

Aspects of the dominant/submissive relationship have given me more freedom than I could have imagined...and I didn't imagine any at all...I thought the opposite.