Events that changed you life forever.

[James]

I have faith that you will live longer than that and find happinest alone the way

[Bowyn Aerrow]

^^

Me.

When I considered this question I got an image of cumulative butterfly effects. And I suspect that wherever I end up at age 50 (assuming I live that long) it will be something I don't expect today.

Yeah... no event is truly isolate from any other.

50 comes faster than one thinks... I'm within spitting distance, which to me is a surprise because the plan was to die before I was 40 and leave behind a beautiful corpse.

I still have yet to figure out what to do when I grow up....

[CellarDweller]

I had a movie change my life in ways I never thought were possible. Because of it I've experienced great joy, and pain.


12/26/05. Christmas was a Sunday that year, so my job gave us the day after off for the holiday.

I had the day free (I spent the prior day with family and friends) so I decided to go to the movies, and found a local theater that was showing Brokeback Mountain. I had been following the release of the movie since October, and was anxiously awaiting to see it.

That movie affected me like no other. I walked out of the theater feeling as if I had been kicked in the stomach, the emotional reaction was something I had never experienced. I had to see it again, and I was determined to bring as many friends as I could. I ended up seeing it in the theaters 15 times.

After that first viewing, I needed to find someone, anyone to talk to about it, and on a lark typed into Yahoo "Brokeback Mountain Forum", and I found a place similar to this, full of people (male & female, gay and straight) who had seen the movie and for whatever reason, had the same reaction I did.

We all became close, bonded in our mutual confusion, fear, sadness that the movie unlocked in us all. We all watched the Oscars together, chatting on the forum at the same time, furious when the Best Picture award went to "Crash".

Not long after that event, one of the members posted one day she had an acre and half of land behind her place, and was willing to host a weekend-long BBQ, where we could all meet, the second weekend of August. I emailed her, telling her to put my name on the list, but not to be disappointed with a poor turnout, after all, Texas in August is a little hot.

We ended up with 85 people in her backyard that weekend. We got rooms at a local hotel, and we partied together, got to know each other face-to-face, and deepened friendships that go on to this day. Other gatherings followed, and the bonds grew closer.

Because of this movie, I've been to 15 different states, and 5 countries, meeting other "Brokies" (as we call ourselves). I've seen and done things I never thought I would.

I never dreamed that crushing grief would come with it.

One of the people I had met and become very close to was Jackie. A divorced mother of two adult children (she was also a grandmother of 2), Jackie became the 'unofficial' greeter of the forum, welcoming all new members, and a much beloved member.

In October of 2007, Jackie told a select few people (I was one of them) that she had inoperable liver cancer. She was going through treatment, but everyone she told had a good idea it wouldn't be long. On January 22 2008, Heath Ledger died in his apartment. While we were reeling from this news, the next day Jackie's family contacted us to let us know she had died as well. After they had their funeral for her, Jackie's daughter-in-law (Paula) contacted us. Jackie had wanted to go to the Oxford UK gathering in June of '08. Paula would go in her place, bringing some of Jackie's ashes with her, so we could have our own memorial service for her. We scattered her ashes on the River Thames.



In 2007, I attended a Brokie gathering in San Francisco that coincided with the gay rodeo there. Also, a theater was showing Brokeback Mountain again. A large group of us went, and I got to meet Rich. Rich at the time was married, but gay, and came to the event to meet us after chatting with us for so long on the forum.

Not long after, Rich and his wife divorced. He went on to live the life of a single gay man, and quickly met his partner. They set up house together, and were in love.

Rich and I were very close. Being a few years older than me, he called me "Little Brother" and I called him "Big Brother". This was a big deal for me, as I'm the oldest in the family, and never had a big brother.

We spoke daily, either through email, the forums or phone calls, and met up numerous times.

In July of 2010, I received a call from Rich's partner. There was an accident and Rich had suffered a blow to his head. He was rushed to the hospital, but declared brain dead. He was put on machines long enough for his family to come and say 'good-bye' and then removed from machines. He died later that evening.

I miss him so much, and still cry for him to this day.

[Virge]

Yeah... no event is truly isolate from any other.

50 comes faster than one thinks... I'm within spitting distance, which to me is a surprise because the plan was to die before I was 40 and leave behind a beautiful corpse.

I still have yet to figure out what to do when I grow up....

on growing old my grand dad told me 4 yrs ago (when I was 22) to go ahead and make up my mind to do it as slowly as I could in spite of what-the-hell everyone else tries to tell me to do.

so when people tell me to grow up.......

[Virge]

I started out thinking I was going to make a comment about the movie cuz I liked it so much when I saw it at 17.
Then Cellar Dweller made me realize what an effect it had on me.
I'm in far west South Dakota nearly close enough to see Wyoming where BroMoun was set. Most gay guys around here are like Ennis and Jack. When I saw the movie at that age I fantasized having a BroMount relationship just with a happier ending, without so many women involved.

Thanks for making me aware of it, Cellar Dweller

In spite of the tragedies associate with the movie you seem to have kept good memories of the people you made the memories with. You could make a dang good movie out of what you wrote. I'd love to see it!

[Genersis]

I had a mental breakdown in 2005/6 due to bullying, still haven't fully recovered from it.
C'est la vie I guess.

[TwisttheLeaf]

The first time my father hit me.

Emancipating from my parents.

A poem: http://www.linda-ellis.com/the-dash-the-...llis-.html

Finding medication that works.

[Miles]

Everything.

Thanks for this thread.

[LONDONER]

Death is a life changing experience.

[Edward]

Nearly dying when I was younger.