Events that changed you life forever.

[matty7]

some heart breaking life experiences posted, but I love how the people posting are still positive and come here with a smile helping others in the threads

[happyschizoid]

I have thought about this one since the post went up. Must say I feel fortunate to only have 2 friends die on me after reading the responses. One of which we had gown apart so it wasn't much of an issue, the other was catastrophic and threw me into a major depression.

I will go with my first life changing event that created trust issues with me. Around 15 years old and looking back I was in love with him although I had no understanding of the concept of love, It was the moment I realized he was only with me for sex and wanted to get off as often as possible. Although we still hung out and played around after my realization it was never the same. I felt like such a fool. I still have trust issues and though I can not contribute all of it to that moment I'm certain that plays a part in it.

Life goes on

[artyboy]

Well I got a few different events that changed my life forever.

The first was getting arrested when I was 15 for Common Assault, all I did was back handed another lad for calling me C****. His parents were on the board of governors of the school so the police were rang and I end up getting put into a cop car and end up in the cells while my mum came and got me. But from that time on I just wanted to get out of school, so I just got into my work and left that school with 7 GCSEs and went to college and ended up with a Degree.

The 2rd event was passing my driving test and getting my first car.

The 3rd was finding my local (pub) and actually having a social life, I even had a job lol!

The 4th was getting beaten up at uni, from that day on I couldn't get off the floor without people helping and my condition seems to gotten worse ever since.

The 5th was finding the best bit of road Ive ever been along, I just felt happiest Ive ever been, the sun was out, I was in a car I turned and modded myself with music playing. That's my happy place I go to when things are bad.

There was the time I found about the condition when I was 7 when I thought my whole world has ended, everything I ever wanted to do and want to be went out the window. I might of only been 7 but I knew what I wanted to be. I was like one of them kids that knew they wanted to be a teacher or doctor. So ever since I have felt lost.

I'm really scared of my future as I know things are going to get really bad. I might even have to decide if I want to life any more. So you can guess how big it might end up. I just hope they bring in a drug to treat my condition, though I feel it might be too late. So I'm waiting it seems for that " Events that changed you life forever. "

[Virge]

some heart breaking life experiences posted, but I love how the people posting are still positive and come here with a smile helping others in the threads

i been noticing that too. nice, isn't it?

[HumbleTangerine]

I remember 9/11 as well. I was 6 and had some trouble sleeping, so I went up to my parents who were watching the news. It didn't change my life in any way, but it's a very clear memory.

I guess the events that changed me the most were the ones that clearly showed the wide-spread homophobia in the world. I knew people around me didn't like LGBT people from a very early age, but it wasn't until later that I realized some of the horrible consequences of open homosexuality. When I read about gay teens hanging themselves and gay Iraqi military men being tortured to death with laxatives and anal glue, those things probably changed me somehow and made me cynical and suspicious pretty early. That there are places in the world where people like me would not only be killed, but their enemies would strive to create as painful innovations of torture as possible to prolong and increase their suffering. That kind of stuff is pretty rough to handle as a child.

[Iceblink]

A couple serious medical episodes changed the course of how I live my day to day life. Another one- although I loved my exboyfriend of seven years, breaking up with him changed the course of my life and lead me on a path to meet the man I am spending my life with. Unlike my current relationship, throughout the entire seven years of that first serious relationship, there was always something that felt like it wasn't something permanent.

[Virge]

I remember 9/11 as well. I was 6 and had some trouble sleeping, so I went up to my parents who were watching the news. It didn't change my life in any way, but it's a very clear memory.

I guess the events that changed me the most were the ones that clearly showed the wide-spread homophobia in the world. I knew people around me didn't like LGBT people from a very early age, but it wasn't until later that I realized some of the horrible consequences of open homosexuality. When I read about gay teens hanging themselves and gay Iraqi military men being tortured to death with laxatives and anal glue, those things probably changed me somehow and made me cynical and suspicious pretty early. That there are places in the world where people like me would not only be killed, but their enemies would strive to create as painful innovations of torture as possible to prolong and increase their suffering. That kind of stuff is pretty rough to handle as a child.

if you want to put homophobia into a better context you need to get to know LGBT people in their 60s and 70s. The homophobia we younger people have today is nothing. Up until the mid 1990s gay men (much more then women) were murdered, usually by two or more men and robbed. The sick part is that almost none of the murderers were ever convicted of 1st or second murder. Most used the "the queer tried to get me to sex with him and I defended myself" defense and straight judges and juries let them get away with it. I've not met one older gay man who didn't have more than one friend killed that way. Some of their stories will make you sick.

Add to that if the murdered gay man was from a prominent family, they would put pressure on the district attorney to get criminals plead to lesser charges without trials in order to keep from embarrassing them. One man has told me of a well known gay realtor in the early 1990s who was murdered in his house, then cut up in small pieces that were carried out and thrown on sides of roads before his house and bank accounts were emptied. Because of pressure from the man's family the murderer served 18 months, got out and tried it with another gay man who defended himself, killed the murderer and ended up being convicted and serving five years.

That's just one set of examples. There was nothing gays could do for discrimination on jobs, housing and even medical services. It was an everyday thing if for family members of a dead gay person to get wills changed so they could take property a dead gay man had left his lover. One man I know personally whose lover died and left a $100,000 insurance policy had to go to court to get anything at all. In the end the judge and jury awarded him just $20,000. Families and lovers of gay people killed in plane crashes or anything like that were usually given 33% OR LESS than what insurance companies gave the survivors of heterosexual victims.

[HumbleTangerine]

if you want to put homophobia into a better context you need to get to know LGBT people in their 60s and 70s. The homophobia we younger people have today is nothing. Up until the mid 1990s gay men (much more then women) were murdered, usually by two or more men and robbed. The sick part is that almost none of the murderers were ever convicted of 1st or second murder. Most used the "the queer tried to get me to sex with him and I defended myself" defense and straight judges and juries let them get away with it. I've not met one older gay man who didn't have more than one friend killed that way. Some of their stories will make you sick.

Add to that if the murdered gay man was from a prominent family, they would put pressure on the district attorney to get criminals plead to lesser charges without trials in order to keep from embarrassing them. One man has told me of a well known gay realtor in the early 1990s who was murdered in his house, then cut up in small pieces that were carried out and thrown on sides of roads before his house and bank accounts were emptied. Because of pressure from the man's family the murderer served 18 months, got out and tried it with another gay man who defended himself, killed the murderer and ended up being convicted and serving five years.

That's just one set of examples. There was nothing gays could do for discrimination on jobs, housing and even medical services. It was an everyday thing if for family members of a dead gay person to get wills changed so they could take property a dead gay man had left his lover. One man I know personally whose lover died and left a $100,000 insurance policy had to go to court to get anything at all. In the end the judge and jury awarded him just $20,000. Families and lovers of gay people killed in plane crashes or anything like that were usually given 33% OR LESS than what insurance companies gave the survivors of heterosexual victims.

I know that homosexuals in the past had it a lot worse, but that shouldn't diminish the suffering of LGBT youth today.

[MikeW]

Wow. Just read through this whole thread. It's great that those who have posted feel secure enough to write about these events. I want to thank all who have shared their stories so far.

At the same time, for me at least, it is a bit depressing. That's probably because I've just gone through (and to some extent am still going through) one of those many 'life changing' events. I've had many in my life, not all of them bad or painful. This most recent event was/is more on the 'painful' end of the spectrum. Without going into details, much of my life has just been upended and now, at age 66, I find myself somewhere I never expected to be, having a sense of not knowing where I am and what I'm going to do now to get my life back 'on track' or at least more under my 'control', with a sense of direction and purpose. I've begun to "think" about all that (something I couldn't really focus on for months) but I'm still not quite at a place where I can do much. It has been one of the most difficult times of my life (and I've had a lot of difficult times).

I guess what strikes me from this thread is how few mentions are made of things that have influenced our lives that were *not* painful. Things that were fun or exciting or joyful. I know these things can be just as important to us as the more disturbing events, but, apparently they are somehow less memorable.

This thread has made me think that one thing I might do to help me get re-focused in my life is begin writing down *all* the events I can recall that have shaped me. Might be worth while to make a similar list naming *all* the people I can remember who have influenced me as well, and how so. Being as old as I am (and having fairly clear memories that go back to my early childhood), these could be fairly long lists! But it would be an interesting exercise, especially since I feel like my life has recently been put through a blender and I no longer feel I know who I am or where I'm headed (other than to the grave).

I'm going to comment on one other thing and I'm a bit hesitant to even bring it up since I'm relatively new here, but that is regarding 9/11. That date was a big one for me as well but for very different reasons than others have mentioned. I already knew much more about what goes on in the intelligence/counter-intelligence world than most people who are not directly apart of it and I knew it could not be trusted. But I did not know until these events that it was possible for them to commit mass murder in broad daylight and get away with it. That's the first half of why this was such a turning point for me.

But the second half, in a way, was far more disturbing and has left far deeper scars. Because it wasn't until that event that I realized that *not one* already established institution, be it government, science and engineering, journalism, academic, the arts or religious--NOT ONE of them was capable of publicly questioning the *obvious lies* we were told about these events. To this day, not one of them has.

I don't want to take this thread off topic with this subject. I want what I'm saying to stay focused within the topic itself: Events that have changed the direction of our lives. Through the events of 9/11 and all that has followed, I came to realize that human beings are far, far more evil, and far, far more blind, ignorant and cowardly than I had ever previously assumed. I had always known that civilization was a mixed bag, full of great and wonderful things and also full of terrible, unspeakable things. But even so, I still believed that at heart it was a 'good' thing, an honorable thing, an endeavor within which TRUTH mattered. Now I no longer believe that to be so. Truth does not matter. At all. A few individuals have been brave enough to understand this event's true significance and to speak out about it but they are a very tiny minority who are mostly ignored and when not being ignored, derided.

This is one devastating realization from which I shall never fully recover. I go on because life must go on but I no longer "believe" in civilization as some redeeming value or hope for humankind. It is, truly, all a mirage or, worse, a form of mass psychosis. I see that our collective sense of "the present" is based on a lie most presume to be true. Which leads me to conclude that all previous "presents" were equally based on lies, the truth of which most of us do not want to know. People are happier *not* knowing the truth.

[Uneunsae]

I knew the horrors of human beings ever since I was a toddler. I've had so many life changing events, but they are so harrowing, I don't even want to write about them. So I never had any illusions about people.

Also, I frequently have "turning points" because I am naturally introspective. I don't take life for granted and try to learn from absolutely everything that happens, good or bad or in-between.