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I'm a big fat bully.
#21
Cuddly Wrote:How would you feel if one of those bullies contacted you today to apologize?

It would be nice to know that they thought about what they did after all these years and realized they hurt me a lot. But it would depend on what they said. It would have to be very sincere.
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#22
Uneunsae Wrote:It would be nice to know that they thought about what they did after all these years and realized they hurt me a lot. But it would depend on what they said. It would have to be very sincere.

I've been considering doing it.. I just.. don't know what to say and I don't want to dig up hurtful memories, for them, unless it helps.
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#23
I know people who would not welcome an apology, and for me, it depends on who was apologizing. I don't think the bullies could know which things did or did not have a huge impact on me. I think a nice general apology along the lines of, "I'm sorry for being a jerk to you back then. You didn't deserve it," would suffice. I wouldn't want them to go into detail or cry or overdo it. It should be about me, not about them. If they were crying, I'd distance from myself immediately because at that point it would be about them and their feelings, not mine. It's a tricky thing. Be sure you know what to say before you do it.
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#24
I don't think I've ever been a bully, not intentionally anyway.
I'm sure there are some out there who would beg to differ but that is also a matter of what bullying actually is and what their understanding of it is.

I've had ex gf, ex friends basically tell me I am difficult to please and often they would tell me how intimidating I am and how they felt they could never measure up to some standard they thought I had. Basically those few were just insecure and projecting their own issues onto me, making me out to look like a bad guy when I am the exact opposite.

I've been through reaal bullying before in elementary school and my first year in jr high.
I'd get picked on, made fun of, beaten up, had plenty of slurs thrown at me: fag, queer, gaylord, fairy...the list could go on It wasn't until my 8th grade year that a group of the "popular" guys came to me and actually apologized for doing what they did. They surprised me by explaining why they bullied me...basically, because of jealousy. I dressed nice, looked nice, was a "stud" as they called it, I could talk to girls easily, was frequently fawned over and talked about by all the girls. they actually explained they were pissed and jealous of me and wanted what I had as far as looks and ability with girls was concerned.

Once the other kids reached that age of maturity, they realized how stupid they were, I still wanted nothing to do with them, losers imo. so I stayed with all the rejects and told them all to kiss my ass.

It was a very interesting revelation and moment of much needed closure and to get it as basically immediate resolution right then and there was a lucky break.
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#25
I just wanna hug everyone after reading this thread! Very touching to hear paths and journeys of pain, regret, forgiveness and well wishes. Hands-make-heart
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart
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