06-20-2014, 04:23 PM
Quote:"When I was younger, I figured that dating another guy would be easier than dating a woman."
Surprise! - dating in general regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, age, and I believe species is a difficult process which requires a lot of sorting and getting to know not only how the species of your choice thinks and acts, but getting to know the most scariest part of that relationship equation. Self.
Foolish thought? No, one that is highly naive, but given that you are are 22 talking about when you "were younger" that naivety is suppose to be there. Children know very little about a lot of stuff and learn through the process of experience.
And yes, the young 20 something crowd are not actually seeking to settle down and start off on a long term relationship and all of that. Young men are guided by their heads - not the ones on the shoulders, and young testicles being the producers of sorts of interesting chemicals that can really run havoc on the logic centers of the human brain, sex and pretty much nothing but sex is the thing that men your age are worried about, thinking about, seeking, wanting, etc.
This isn't to say there are not young men out there who desire and are seeking a mate for more than just a roll in the hay. They do exist, however not in the large numbers that would make that whole dating thing far, far easier than it is.
Controlling:
Frankly I see little about your plight here with this particular fella that says controlling. And I think you should give up your career in the mental health industry because clearly you do not know what bi-polar is, or you would not have pulled that diagnosis out of your hat.
Quote:Who I was with, who the guy on Facebook is, why is he commenting on my pictures.
I would wager that you have a minor myth-understanding of what controlling is if these are the best examples that leap to mind of a controlling person.
Asking questions and getting to know who you hang with, what these people are to you gives any potential mate a better understanding of YOU.
The opposite of love is not hatred. No. Indifference is the opposite. Indifference means a person doesn't care. If they didn't care they wouldn't ask questions. Thus asking questions is a symptom or sign that a person cares thus potentially loves.
A real controlling person is the one who either directly tells you he forbids you X or through manipulation and coercion causes you to do what s/he wants. They set limits and makes laws, they will through any means insure that you do their will, meet their time schedule.
Quote:I am my own person. No one needs to know everything I do.
That ain't going to work out well for you in the long run.
Yes actually your partner should know just about everything there is to know about you and know what it is you plan to do with all of those bodies you have been stealing from the cemetery... Or whatever your horror story is.
Being part of an 'us' is not about being 'my own person' it is about being part of 'us' 'we'. My stuff becomes 'ours'. We share the burdens and risks, we have a confidant and a person we can take all of our troubles to and know that we ain't facing this world by our self.
There is no "I" in team - and a realtionship is the ultimate team sport.
Since you want to be your own person then I strongly suggest you give up the notion of having a relationship. Most humans who enter into a relationship with a person are not going to be happy if you isolate yourself and constantly remind them that they are there for your amusement and that you don't need them because you are your own person.
Coincidentally... Most people who place such an emphasis on being their "own person" usually tend to display those characteristics of a controlling person. The Drive to maintain perfect control over ones own life and to be separate necessitates control over ones partner thereby insuring that one remains their own person.
Of course with the years of psychology or psychiatry that leaves you with the ability to diagnoses the disorders of others, you already know this.