Help please :/

[supasyd]

Thanks everyone, my posts are all over the place because I'm waiting for stuff to be approved so have no idea when things will appear. I have to be awake in 4 hours so should probably try to get some sleep....This is more irony. I'm in bed all the time and I never sleep. I'm glad people actually responded. I wasn't expecting that, so thanks. Hopefully will muster up the courage to ring the doctor tomorrow. And yes all stuff like this is free for me due to the NHS, so I should probably make the most of it.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Yea I know, I need a therapist but... They are too far, I don't use phones, I can't lick my eyebrows - whatever....

You are real good in this making excuses department - almost, but not quite the master of it as I am. But then I have twice the lifetime of experience to master that fine art.

Maybe instead of listing the reasons 'I can't' you should start listing the reasons why 'I can'? Yeah I know funny guy, you can list a few good reasons why you can't make an I can list. I also see the potential for a few well placed puns in that.

To be blunt (my thing, gotta love it). If you are going to get help, you will need to help yourself. I can't help you, the doctor can't help you, no one on this planet is going to do for you that which only you can do for yourself.

Society and people can only go so far to bridge this gap for you. If you can't or refuse to reach out the rest of the way and do the hard work, this isn't going to end well.


Therapy isn't like surgery, the therapist ain't gonna pop the hood and start to tinker. No, the Therapist is your guide who will suggest ways for you to get under that hood and tinker on yourself. Its bloody hard work - I mean that bloody in the sense of picture a surgeon taking out their own appendix...



It is your choice, ultimately, to either get one today, or wait until you are making jokes about your minor meth habit, or how your drinking habit is measured by the ocean full....

Or you might be poking fun at that near death experience you gave yourself for Christmas in the year Whatever.



I went down a similar road in my 20's. I put off therapy and real help until I had a shitload of really funny stories to tell. Hey it was my job to give myself all the material I needed for my comedic career that I never pursued - I'm sure you can relate.


No boyfriend is going to fix ya, if anything you are setting yourself up for more funny stories, but these in the relationship department where you can count off each relationship by broken bones or sutures or other horrific (but always funny) stuff.

Sickness attracts sickness. The kind of guys who are going to circle around you like sharks and are going to accept your reasons for not getting yourself to a therapist are the kind of guys who love to eat misery and misfortune, and will make certain you provide them many enjoyable meals.

And like sharks they will shred you to pieces, spit you out and leave behind a bloody mess. And you know what happens when the water gets bloody don't ya? Yeah more sharks arrive to dine and dash.

I can only tell you what you need to do. I ain't going to pull punches and tell you it is easy (I tell blunt truths, not sharp lies).

You need to get a therapist. That means you need to get on a telephone and actually use it as a phone, not a camera, not a text messaging device, not as an Ipod or whatever phones are when they are being anything but a phone.

You need to resolve to yourself to try to use the therapist and try to be a bit more honest in that usage. Trying ain't the same thing as doing and its easier to try than actually do, but I do know from experience that the more you try to do a thing, the more likely it is you will do it.

Tablets Or better living through chemistry. That would be the department of a psychiatrist, not a psychologist. And tablets only treat the symptoms not the underlying problems.

Few people say that the tablets actually work, most are going to tell you you just stop caring that the tablet isn't living up to the expectations.

A psychologist just didn't follow up and get that Medical Degree so can't push pills (legal ones). However they do try to get you to talk and try to get you to look at life's little ups and downs from a different point of view (Shrooms do the same thing, but ain't as legal as a therapist).

Therapy only works as well as you work it. And the beauty part of it, if you decide to stop using therapy you don't have to go through a lengthy 'weening off' process... unlike most tablets which if you stop those cold turkey the life you think is the shits can take on a whole new level of shittiness to make you appreciate what you had.

Yeah it is crappy, yes you will feel a lot of unpleasant things. Yes you might have to date around and take out a few therapists for trial runs until you find the one that works for you.

In therapy, if it doesn't hurt, something is wrong. Self examination, working on our 'little problems' is suppose to hurt, its suppose to make us feel... Its the process of feeling something that leads to feeling better.

If you ever had a really nasty bout of crying, one that tore you up and hurt like hell, and then after you dried the last tear away you were feeling tons better then you can start to understand how and why therapy hurts and feels like shit then feels better.

[justasimpleguy]

Depending on the college you go to, Free councilling may be availabe

[artyboy]

Depending on the college you go to, Free councilling may be availabe

UK is a little different btw

[supasyd]

Well I have to go to Manchester on the train today to tidy my old student room so I will hopefully do it on the train. I'll be disappointed in myself if I don't....The posts here make a lot of sense. A lot of it is advice I used to give other people in the past, so I don't know why now part of me now feels it sensible to do ALL the opposite things. Self-sadism?

I think the uni does counselling but I'm not there 'till September and I'd like to hope I'll be better by then. Of course, hope is somewhat of a wishy-washy concept.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

*chuckle*.

You know many of us who give sage advice end up doing the exact opposite of what we suggest others do.

[Wolfpack]

Sorry to hear Supasyd that you are really struggling at the moment. Understandable with the problems you have had in life. But you are still very young and you can be helped.

If you cannot get counselling via your uni, therapy is available free on the NHS and the treatment that is given is
CBT. This very can be very good at treating depression, it does not work for everyone but still has a high success rate.
I was struggling last year myself with problems such as dealing with my sexuality and also losing my job, and I found the therapy really helped me and I feel that I am doing really well now. So hopefully whatever help you get you will manage to achieve similar results.

I also found being on this forum has helped me, so keeping posting on here and chatting with people as well, I am sure it will help you to.

Try to keep yourself motivated, and remember you can be helped to be put on the right track , and have a more positive outlook on the future.

[50Plus]

Not sure if this will be new or even of interest, but I found this talk from Ask Beckham to be inspiring. At some point in your past you came out as gay. As Ash discusses, coming out is not about being gay. Coming out is about having that really hard conversation with others. For me, that first hard conversation is the one that you have with yourself.

Google 'ash beckham tedx'

And if not ready to call your doctor or a therapist, consider exploring the NHS website or even call their 111 line. Help is out there.

Good luck and thoughts be with you.

[supasyd]

thanks everyone. It seems the answer is pretty is obvious now, if very difficult. I didn't ring the doctor today because my phone died, and when I finally got it charged it at 1am I stupidly texted my ex, so it seems I might still have a long way to go! I forced myself to actually have a day out today...been out 17 hours on 4 hours sleep!! Shattered but I think it's done me some good.

[supasyd]

I hate that I still love my ex. I'm ready to move on but the feelings will always be there. Had a bottle of wine and a think. How can I cope with these feelings following me everywhere? I'm sorry to be a nuisance to everyone as I know everyone has tried to help me but I still haven't rang the doctor and I don't know why it's so hard to me....for some reason I feel like something in my life will always be there to bring me back to square one...Truly not sure if I can go on. And I feel guilty for hindering people with my shitty problems.