What can I do?

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Although his reaction may have been unexpected, you may be over thinking the whole episode.

Coming out to people is a hugly personal experience, and you made it clear that you are both progressing in the right direction, the process has begun

As for this one girl, as BA states it's clearly a sensitive matter for him. Have you met her socially yet?

It may be that she is close to his family, and telling her outright may just set off a chain of events that he's not yet ready to face, especially if it involves his family, close or extended. A women scorned can be difficult to manage!

Your both doing the right thing in your coming out journey so far. I suggest just sitting down and talking about this one issue. You should be offering support on how to manage the situation, not getting defensive and jealous over it.

Good luck,
ObW
X

[rroepcke]

As for this one girl, as BA states it's clearly a sensitive matter for him. Have you met her socially yet?

.....

Your both doing the right thing in your coming out journey so far. I suggest just sitting down and talking about this one issue. You should be offering support on how to manage the situation, not getting defensive and jealous over it.

No I haven't met her socially - He keeps his 'straight' and 'gay' friends/life separate. If we'd met it wouldn't be an issue at all, we'd be able to go to the concert as a group. He's worried about people asking questions about how we know each other I think. I don't know - this whole relationship process is incredibly confusing for me.

As for getting jealous/defensive, I'm not in any way being that to him. I support his decisions in every way, I'm just new to this and I'm quite sensitive emotionally so I'm afraid of getting hurt. I just wish we were both out already because I'm 100% ready and he is not, which I guess makes things difficult.

[Beaux]

He is sleeping with her. Trust me, I have been there. He is screwing her.

[LucasVonSeattle]

I dated this guy who wasn't out to all his friends and family. He decided it would be good for me to go with him to see his friends that he left behind when he decided to leave school. The school is about 1.5 hours away. So we went to see his friends and I had just turned 21 (and he was 20), so when it came time to buy some beer, I was elected. While I was in the store, one of his friends appears, a girl. She said she was there to help me carry the beer. Then she's asking me what my relationship is with my boyfriend. I thought nothing of answering honestly. Later that night on the drive home, my boyfriend proceeded to tell me I was the worst person ever for admitting the truth. By the time we got home, he had admitted to cheating on me twice (including with one guy that I saw him with while I was walking home from work!). I made a personal choice to not date guys who aren't out of the closet at that point. I haven't regretted it.

[rroepcke]

He is sleeping with her. Trust me, I have been there. He is screwing her.

I think that's a bit of a conclusion to jump to - So far he's done nothing to facilitate any feelings of mistrust, he spends literally every spare minute he has with me and sees her about once a month. I think it's more of a long term friendship thing where she is putting her feelings onto him and he's too shy/scared to tell her the truth or even to reject her.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

This is very accurate of the way I'm feeling. It's quite a hard and confusing time and this is the absolute first time I've ever been in this situation. I too have had Girls fall for me but as soon as they express their interest I'd always be forward and say 'I'm not interested, sorry' or 'lets be friends instead' as I don't want to hurt anyone - I want to suggest this to him as something to say to her as to me it's crueller to allow her to believe that she has a chance.- I just don't know how to bring it up with him in a delicate way without causing anger.

One way to reduce chances of anger is to make certain that the person understands we are now entering serious talk time.

People tend to not like to have touchy topics just come up at any time.

Another way is in the form of a letter. This gives you a chance to write stuff down in a tidy manner. Get right to the point, cover the topic without interruption thus he gets to see where you are coming from before he flies off the handle.