Am I gay?

[anonymous95]

I realize it is a silly question but i really am uncertain.

I don't recall when I first started having the thoughts, fantasists, and desires of being with other women..all I know is that it has begun to interfere with how i behave around my straight girlfriends, I've even become self-conscious when trying to make new friends wondering if they'll think I'm gay and assume I'm coming on to them!
I see the nude female body and I see perfection, I even believe it turns me on more than the sight of a males! Don't get me wrong, males are still very sexy and I do love being with them but there is just something about the thought of being with a woman! The smooth skin, the soft touch, and simply knowing you share so much physically! its all very alluring to me!
Maybe I'm just bi-curious but I want to feel more than just a drunk, college one night stand. I want it to be special, if I were to ever get the chance to be with another woman, i would want it to be real and fun and nothing like I've ever experienced before.
I don't know what to think and i'm way to scared to talk to any of my friends about it! I only need support and advice, have i come to the right place?

[DavidsAwesome]

If you insist on labeling yourself... I have came to the professional conclusion that you can label yourself as human.
Don't fret over your sexuality. In a perfect world, it wouldn't matter. Just go with the flow and do what feels right, that way you can never have any regrets. Follow your heart and you'll never go wrong.

[anonymous95]

Thank you, I am okay with being human. I only wish now that being human were easier.

[Iceblink]

Don't get stuck in the idea you must be attracted to one gender or the other. Being attracted to both is much more common in this world than what most will admit.

[meninlove]

It's fine to be Bi, anonymous. *winks warmly* Bear in mind that being Bi does not mean you have to be equally attracted to both sexes. Many prefer one over the other.

[ETOTE]

Being attracted to both is much more common in this world than what most will admit.

^some truth right there,


At the end of the day, I ultimately will just go with 'sexual' myself.
Labels are too confining and restraining to me.
Sometimes language doesn't do the expression of love or sexuality justice because human beings and the depths of our passions and desires are far more complex than mere two-dimensional words.

Welcome to the forums, btw.

[JimmyEcho]

Ask yourself, Am I sexually attracted to other women? (It sounds like you are)
I thought being human was complicated. But when I faced my truth I just said to myself (I am who I am) I'm Bi and I find both genders very attractive. I go where that attraction leads me.
Side Note:
(Lately i'm really into the Hot guys)

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Thank you, I am okay with being human. I only wish now that being human were easier.

As a Elf I can only report what I observe, and my observations are that humans make everything as complex as they possibly can.


The only time you need to worry about your friends thinking you are coming on to them is when you are coming on to them. Are you doing that?

Everyone has internal dialog. The beauty part about it is that only elves can read your mind, humans can't. So your secrets are pretty safe around humans.

With us elves... oh we gossip amongst ourselves all the time. :biggrin:

[AlohaShannon]

Bowyn, you crack me up!

Anonymous, I can very much relate to you. I have spent so much time wondering about my own sexuality since I have been married three times (to women) but have always had a deep attraction to men. The one thing I learned was that labeling myself as straight, bi, or gay did nothing but confuse me more. I constantly tried to put myself in a little box and thought that if I could just know for certain what I am, all the other pieces will fall into place. Oh how wrong I was!

Look at sexual orientation as a spectrum; on one end is gay and the other is straight. You, like many others, may just fall in between. To like one gender does not necessarily move you to the far end of the spectrum. You are who you are and you like what you like. All that matters is you accept yourself the way you are and don't try to define yourself as either gay or straight.

As for having a meaningful experience with a woman rather than an alcohol induced one-night stand...that is in your control.

[Adam]

It seems pretty clear that you're attracted to women as well as to men. My question is, do you want to explore that attraction? Perhaps you could find someone to talk to and flirt with a little on one of the dating sites, and see where that leads.
I have a lot of straight friends, and they don't worry that I'm coming on to them. We all understand the boundaries.
In answer to your question, I would say No, you aren't gay. And you probably aren't entirely straight, either. A lot of us fall somewhere in between, and it's normal.
Try not to stress over this, explore it and see where it leads.