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Dating a deaf guy
#21
Also keep in mind that deaf people have an entire culture - the Deaf Culture - that you need to educate yourself about.
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#22
malignacious Wrote:I would not encourage any culture, culture is a toxic cancer of irrationality, as demonstrated by some deaf people who want to remain deaf despite the available technology.


Edit: I misread the post, and had to revise my answer.

Who are you to decide that their culture is toxic or irrational just because some are happy in their current lives and don't feel they need to hear? That's a topic for another thread, though.

People always telling other people what to do with their bodies...
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#23
Back in the 90's I took a class on sign language and it was fairly simple to learn. If I remember correctly it was a free (or at least a nominal fee) course. May be something to look into. It was very exciting to be able to talk with an friend of mine without notebooks and pens.
Recently I met a gay couple that belong to a car club I am in. One is deaf and one can hear. Watching them interact with each other was very heartwarming. They have been together for many years and are married. Great couple!
I say give it a shot and see what happens. It could be a great learning experience for both of you!
Let us know how it goes.
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#24
Perhaps it's best just to have the basics down for awhile as this "dyke drama in Sign" shows:


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#25
Sign Language is not that hard to learn.

There is not other real 'special care' for a deaf person, they tend to their own stuff, can cook, clean, laundry, feed themselves, turn themselves. Even enjoy music to a degree - as long as its something with a beat and you turn up the volume. Wink

Your concern for communication is valid. Just think, his folks are hearing people, they had to learn sign language in order to communicate with their son. So they didn't start off signing at an early age, they learned it as adults.

Those other concerns are not really there - no special care required.

Your feelings are kinda valid and are most likely partly cause by the myth that anyone with a disability is unable to do stuff thus needs more attention. That only applied with people with physical limitations in specific areas - for instance don't expect a man with a cane to win the Boston Marathon (bombs don't help).

Understand he has adapted to his condition.

I take it he was born deaf or became deaf at a very early age. Typically folk that are deaf that early are very reluctant to talk because they just know that they sound like an idiot to everyone else and don't want people thinking they are an idiot.

So there will need to be trust and privacy for him to actually speak to you. Don't expect him to talk in public situations. At home, sure.

That communication thing is a two way street, say its a trade agreement, he talks to you verbally and you learn sign language.
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#26
^ This, very much.

I have been hard of hearing all my life (not deaf, though) so I had a bad speech impediment most of my life. I can't hear it myself and had to have speech therapy to correct it. I'm nervous to speak to others because I'm always afraid it will linger and I feel embarrassed.
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#27
Well, it sounds like your first encounter at the gay bar and the first date went well....I mean, I would as well like to live my life as independently as possible if I had a disability like that because with any relationship...Your S/O is probably going to feel that they are dependent on you because of it and like you said, your going to want to protect him and I don't think anyone wants their battles fought for them if they arise. But, if you really like the guy, I wouldn't over-think it....If things go in the right direction, let it be! Don't think to far ahead into the future because you screw yourself, please believe me, I do it to myself all the time. Just my two cents.... Smile
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